6/30/2005

Quiet Day

This was a smile:

It was my pleasure to escort your husband, no doubt that he is very kind and special.

You should have seen the smile on his face as he carried J’s litter off of the plane. If only I would have had a camera!! I am sure that it will be a memory that he and she will remember forever.
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We have had no word yet today. Mate may leave to come home tomorrow. I know at least one other blog is following a wounded soldier. They are at Walter Reed. His link is : http://tcoverride.blogspot.com/

PRIVATE Toll roads?
Milblogs now REALLY censored

(Stupid me! Lost lots of links as I didn't have them backed up before I hit the button. Curses, Blogger, you have foiled me again!)

I guess I will just get it over with and put up a blog for news, outrages and rants and to track our wounded down. I am so tired today, didn't sleep well last night due to changes in the weather. We have had heavy storms this morning and more coming later.

I want to say I appreciate all the comments and even the silence from the almost 200 visitors in the last two days. It's great of you to stop in.

2,1,0, HOME

jewel and uncle mateOur soldier, Jewel, landed at Ft. Bragg, NC around 6 tonight. The mate/Uncle was there to greet her quickly as she was transported to the hospital. About an hour later he got in to see her and give her the roses he brought her.

The damage to the girl is pretty sad. The 3/4" cut on her face is larger than that and has been stitched AND stapled. I hate those staples! Her legs look like she caught a load of rock salt from a double barrel shot gun. Her leg still has no cast on it. She is drugged with morphine and has been now for a week. Demerol is not available...(OK, WHY NOT!) even though there are people for whom morphine does NOT work. (I know, I'm one of them!) So she will have to be weaned off the pain killer soon. But she hurts! The mate says she told him it hurts every time she woke up. Poor Girl!

At least we got our kid back, many don't. She can be repaired, she's young and will heal fast. It's ok., it sucks but it could be way worse.

Mate stayed with her about an hour. Her first Company Commander came to visit her while Mate was there. On the way out he told the mate she was a hell of a good soldier. It really impressed the mate that the man had taken time to come see her when he is going back to Iraq in ten days.

Her Mom and step dad arrived. They only live two hours from the base. The mate went back to his room to get some rest. Instead he called me to report and we talked a while. We both agree she has some serious healing to do before she will be looking for housing off base. I figure a week to ten days in the hospital till they have her off the dope.

Her Dad and step mom are flying down tomorrow. My mate will be coming home probably and we will go back when she is closer to getting out to help her do whatever it is she feels has to be done. We want her to have family around her but not so many she feels crowded.

I feel so much better knowing the mate is there. Her mom is there for her and her Dad is on the way. I wish I could have gone but I will wait and make the next trip and pray in the mean time.

I want to mention that there were an awful lot of people involved in coordinating this for the family and they have all done a wonderful job. I have a new keyboard pal in Iraq I intend to keep up with and the Mate says the Captain is treating him like a king. Every possible kindness has been showed the family.

Below are today's links and I hope you take the time to read them. There are tears, grief, laughter and information in them that you can only find on the net.

May I also add the IM and email have made keeping in touch with our soldier so much more "real time" that I say a prayer for the computer system, too. That we can turn on and "talk" to the soldier across the world has been a comfort for all of us. I am sure it is a comfort to the soldiers, too.

I know I have been craming on this topic but it is important to our integrity as Americans that we provide for those who have sacrificed their lives or parts of their bodies and minds for you and I. How about "No soldier left behind"?

"Military statistics as of June 8, 2005 show that 12,762 American soldiers have been wounded in the conflict in Iraq and 1,674 have been killed. According to a spokesman at the Pentagon, the disparity between the two numbers has created a severe backlog in medical board hearings."

Photos
Milblog
True Story
Our Heros
Heros here!
More Heros
Milblog w. LINKS
A Hard one to read
Purple hearts and bruises
This Blogger Wounded June 05
Has your soldier been in the news?

   6/29/2005

9,8,7...

UPDATE: 2:15 pm

Dear God, I love my husband!! He just called me again with his room number and word that he may be able to meet the plane tonight. With no prompting from anyone the beloved mate has roses for the soldier. He just makes me cry, he does so right!

When we were younger I used to wish he was my big brother, when we were older I wished he'd like me. When we fought and broke up I wished we could get back together. It took 15 years but it happened!! Every night I go to bed with the man of my dreams.

He is all of that and more to me now and I wouldn't trade him for a millionaire, a hunter, a mechanic, a gigolo, a biker, a cook, a nurse, a gardner, a boyfriend with a hot car, a chauffeur, a personal companion and a shrink all together! It would take the full dozen men to try to replace him and it would never be right.

I am so blessed.

Don't touch that dial!
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I just got a call from the Mate. He arrived in one piece at about 1 pm at Ft. Bragg. He was waiting for the Captain to meet him and show him to his room at the Air Borne Inn.

Now we are at the official Army "hurry up and wait" portion of this tale. Spc. Jewel will not arrive until early evening instead of early afternoon as we were told. She has to be cleared for visitors before he can see her. Sounds like they will try to stall him one more day. I am upset as we told her he would be there for her the last time we talked. Stupid Army Regs!

But he's there. Now we will get the rest of the story.

Don't touch that dial!

Back in the USA

SPC JewelPresent location confirmed at Andrews Air Force Base hospital, staying overnight, scheduled to depart approximately xxxxx tomorrow morning, arriving Pope AFB approximately xxxxx. Flight times to be confirmed in morning.
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We spoke to Womack Army Medical Center – the hospital at Fort Bragg and they are also tracking Jewel’s return. They show her scheduled to depart Germany on 28 June at xxxx (Greenwich Mean Time). This translates to approximately xxxx EDT. This time jives with what MAJ W describes below. Fort Bragg also shows her scheduled to arrive at Andrews AFB at xxxxxPM Greenwich Mean Time which equates to xxxxxxPM EDT. Then Fort Bragg believes she’ll be scheduled for a flight to Fort Bragg on the following day – Wednesday, 29 JUN – time To Be Determined.

Of course, all of this data is subject to change. My folks here will continue to track her progress home.

I’ve also spoken to Department of the Army Casualty affairs Once Jewel arrives in the states, her attending physician (either at Walter Reed or perhaps Fort Bragg) will verify her condition and determine if/when family members should be invited to join her. Once he makes this determination, family members can be officially invited to join her at whichever hospital she gets assigned to (we assume it will be Fort Bragg).

I will continue to check with Fort Bragg’s medical folks to ensure they are giving the same statuses that Landstuhl is giving to MAJ Watson. So far, both ends of this medical pipeline seem to be telling the same story so I’m fairly confident that the data is accurate. We look forward to receiving Jewel at Fort Bragg and attending to her family’s needs as well.

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I have tried about eight or ten times today, but I have been unable to get through to either Jewel’s room or to her nurses station. II did get through to the air movement coordination section, and confirmed she is manifested on tomorrow’s flight. Her TRACES site number is -------------------; this is the tracking number they will use for her entire move from Germany through Andrews AFT to Womack Army Hospital on Ft. Bragg.

The flight is scheduled to take off from Germany at 1400 local time tomorrow. Flights to the United States from Germany last eight to nine hours, so although they cannot give me an ETA in the U.S., it should be about 1700 (5:00pm) Eastern Standard Time tomorrow when she lands in the D.C. area (if my calculations are right). This is just an estimate, and in Germany tonight they cannot provide any information on how long it will be before she moves from Andrews AFB to Ft. Bragg.

On another note, all of Jewel’s personal belongings were inventories by a specially appointed officer and a witness, and have been boxed up and mailed back to Ft. Bragg. They will not beat her back, but she should get all her things in 10 – 14 days.
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Just a quick note this time. I just spoke with your daughter again, and I was glad to hear her sounding better again today than yesterday. There is no major change in her condition, which is that she is stable and still improving.

No change from last night – it still looks as if she’ll fly from Germany to the US on Tuesday. They’ve told her she will fly into Andrews AFB outside of D.C., which is standard. She’ll likely spend a day or so there then move to Ft. Bragg. That’s all I have to report today, but I’ll call again tomorrow to see if I can get precise movement times and information.

CPT George from our rear detachment should be in contact with you by now and helping you on all your needs on the Ft. Bragg end; please let me know if you have not heard from her or someone on the U.S. side to help you.
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I just got off the phone with the duty nurse on Jewel’s ward. Unfortunately she will not be on the flight tomorrow, and it looks like the next flight will be Tuesday. There were two separate reasons she did not get on the flight.

First is the blood count I wrote about before. Due to the injuries and the surgery she had a bit of blood loss and her red blood count was not high enough this morning to qualify her for a high altitude flight. (anemia) They gave her blood this afternoon, but did not do a new test for her “H&H” count until about four hours ago. The results of that test have not come back, so when the manifest closed she was not eligible to fly.

Second is the fact that the hospital in Germany is very full right now due to a surge in injured soldiers over the last week. The manifest is based on a combination of “First in – first out”, and on seriousness of injuries; Jewel was low on both criteria so even had she been qualified would most likely have not got on the flight tomorrow. It is possible they will request another air evacuation mission before Tuesday based on the number of patients, but Tuesday is the next one going for sure.

I asked the nurse specifically is this was basically an administrative decision or represented a downturn for her condition, and the answer was administrative. She is still doing well. The nurse said she was eating and talking several times today and was still upbeat. Her condition has improved, she is still stable, and her prognosis is still for a full recovery.

The hospital orthopedic surgeon also examined her today. They now think that her so there is clearly some damage of some type, but based on the improvements today they think it may be less than a break. Because she was initially expected to fly tomorrow they did not schedule further treatment for her leg and arm, but tomorrow morning she should be re-evaluated by the orto specialist. I will continue to call at least once in the morning and once in the afternoon until she flies for the United States.
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spcjewlelbefore
Yesterday I got a call from the Captain at Ft. Bragg in charge of helping visitors. She was full of good information on housing and visitor info. She also told us that Jewel had her leg re-broken and set yesterday. I told Mom they would have to do this as there was no word of the broken bone being set and it had been more than 3 days. Young bones heal quickly. She was annoyed that I was right.

The leg was diagnosed as broken on the first day of this story. Instead of treating her in a timely manner they had to re-injure our soldier, slowing her recovery further. This costs us more in the long run by extending time it will take for her to heal. She was kept in Germany, as far as I can tell, in a drugged stupor, in a US hospital for 5 days and no one there could set her leg before it began to heal wrong. IMHO it is because a broken leg in a young body is a pitifully tiny injury compared to the kids with amputations and internal wounds.

She was seen by the EMT's in Iraq and has been at the hospital in Germany since the 23rd. In 5 days no doctor has had the time to set a broken leg before it began to heal.

This tells me that:
  • They are too busy with more seriously wounded soldiers.
  • We are not being told the full count of the wounded, more than they can treat properly
  • There are not enough doctors available to treat the wounded we do have.
  • We are NOT taking care of our own.
Jewel was the soldier closest to a mortar round because she was in Iraq and doing her job as a soldier, performing a duty for her country. She was wounded in an action that has received, as far as I can tell, one tiny paragraph on one page on the internet that mentions the mortar fire that hit her.

"At about the same time as the three car bombs were going off in al-Karradah, Iraqi Resistance forces fired several mortar shells into the al-Jadiriyah district of Baghdad, police sources claim that the barrage inflicted no Iraqi casualties."

The mate and I worked with Jewel's folks trying to figure best ways to get someone to her. I keep forgetting we have animals and we could not get a dog sitter so I could not go. Her step mom is told that she can't get family emergency leave for this, we don't know why.

The math was getting easier. The mate took the bike and rolled out this morning. He has ridden through storms on and off all day but is about 5 hours out of Ft. Bragg. He should be there by 2 pm tomorrow. She should be there about 1 pm. Pretty good timing!

It's been hard to work to day. My mind was flying home with the soldier. I have found more links for you to puruse at your leisure. Educate yourself then use the links in the sidebar to express your opinion to a Congressman or Representitive

   6/28/2005

Count down

I will get all the soldier stuff in it's own catagory soon. For now, the story continues.

Yesterday I got a call from the Captain at Ft. Bragg in charge of helping visitors. She was full of good information on housing and visitor rules. She also told us that Jewel had her leg re-broken and set yesterday.

Why was this nessesary? She was wounded on the 22nd in an action that has recieved, as far as I can tell, one tiny paragraph on one page on the internet that mentions the mortar fire she was hit with. She was seen by the EMT's in Iraq and has been at the hospital in Germany since the 23rd. In 6 days no doctor has had the time to set a broken leg. They are too busy with more seriously wounded soldiers.

This tells me that:
we are not being told the full count of the wounded
that there are not enough doctors available to treat the wounded we do have
we are NOT taking care of our own.

Jewel was already the soldier closest to a mortar round because she was in Iraq and doing her job as a soldier, performing a duty for her country. Instead of treating her in a timely manner we have to re-injure our soldier, slowing her recovery further, costing us more in the long run in the extended time it will take for her to heal because she has laid in a drugged stupor in a US hopital for 6 days and no one there could set her leg before it began to heal wrong.

   6/26/2005

2 Soldier's stories

We called and talked to Jewel yesterday. She spoke to her Dad twice today. She is still very groggy, probably from the medication. We are working on a schedule to visit her that staggers us a little so she has visitors for a longer period of time, instead of all at once and then left alone again.

See the other soldier's story at the bottom of the links.

Stay tuned.

Just a quick note this time. I just spoke with your daughter again, and I was glad to hear her sounding better again today than yesterday. There is no major change in her condition, which is that she is stable and still improving.

No change from last night – it still looks as if she’ll fly from Germany to the US on Tuesday. They’ve told her she will fly into Andrews AFB outside of D.C., which is standard. She’ll likely spend a day or so there then move to Ft. Bragg.

That’s all I have to report today, but I’ll call again tomorrow to see if I can get precise movement times and information.


I have spent hours tracking the wounded from Iraq on the web. The story is disgusting. To help maintain Bush's falling ratings there is an Unwritten Ban on Photos showing the wounded. Think about it. You see walls falling down and cars blowing up but no bodies. Soldiers going down the streets but no bodies. Take the time to check out these links, please. There is much more out there but I have to get ready to travel.

Invisible Wounded

Middletown – He lost his arm serving his country in Iraq.

Now this wounded soldier is being discharged from his company in Fort Hood, Texas, without enough gas money to get home. In fact, the Army says 27-year-old Spc. Robert Loria owes it close to $2,000, and confiscated his last paycheck.

"There's people in my unit right now – one of my team leaders [who was] over in Iraq with me, is doing everything he can to help me .... but it's looking bleak," Loria said by telephone from Fort Hood yesterday. "It's coming up on Christmas and I have no way of getting home."

Loria's expected discharge yesterday came a day after the public got a rare view of disgruntled soldiers in Kuwait peppering Defense Secretary Donald Rumsfeld with questions about their lack of adequate armor in Iraq.

Like many soldiers wounded in Iraq, Loria's injuries were caused by a roadside bombing. It happened in February when his team from the 588th Battalion's Bravo Company was going to help evacuate an area in Baqubah, a town 40 miles north of Baghdad. A bomb had just ripped off another soldier's arm. Loria's Humvee drove into an ambush. When the second bomb exploded, it tore Loria's left hand and forearm off, split his femur in two and shot shrapnel through the left side of his body.

Months later, he was still recuperating at Walter Reed Army Medical Center in Washington, D.C., and just beginning to adjust to life without a hand, when he was released back to Fort Hood.

But "clearing Fort Hood," as the troops say, takes paperwork. Lots of it. Loria thought he'd done it all, and was getting ready to collect $4,486 in final Army pay. Then he was hit with another bomb.

The Army had another tally – of money it says Loria owed to his government. A Separation Pay Worksheet given to Loria showed the numbers: $2,408.33 for 10 months of family separation pay that the Army erroneously paid Loria after he'd returned stateside, as a patient at Walter Reed; $2,204.25 that Loria received for travel expenses from Fort Hood back to Walter Reed for a follow-up visit, after the travel paperwork submitted by Loria never reached the correct desk. And $310 for missing items on his returned equipment inventory list.

"There was stuff lost in transportation, other items damaged in the accident," Loria said of the day he lost his hand. "When it went up the chain of command, the military denied coverage."

Including taxes, the amount Loria owed totaled $6,255.50. The last line on the worksheet subtracted that total from his final Army payout and found $1,768.81 "due us."

"It's nerve-racking," Loria said. "After everything I have done, it's almost like I am being abandoned, like, you did your job for us and now you are no use. That's how it feels."

In Middletown, yesterday, Loria's wife, Christine, was beside herself. "They want us to sacrifice more," she said, her voice quavering. "My husband has already sacrificed more than he should have to."

For weeks now, Christine has been telling her 3-year-old son, Jonathan, that Robbie will be coming home any day now. But the Army has delayed Loria's release at least five times already, she said, leaving a little boy confused and angry. "Rob was supposed to be here on Saturday," she said. "Now [Jonathan] is mad at me. How do you explain something you yourself don't understand?"

Christine said the Department of Veterans Affairs has been helpful in giving Loria guidance about how to get his life back on track, offering vocation rehabilitation to "teach them to go back out in the world with the limitations they have." But the Army brass has been unreceptive, she said.

The Lorias also contacted the offices of U.S. Sen. Hillary Clinton, D-N.Y., and Rep. Maurice Hinchey, D-Saugerties. Hinchey's office responded. "There's enough to go on here to call the Army on it and see if it can get worked out," said Hinchey aide Dan Ahouse. "We are expressing to the Pentagon that based on what we see here, we don't see that Mr. Loria is being treated the way we think our veterans returning from Iraq should be treated."

Army officials at Fort Hood could not be reached for comment yesterday.

"I don't want this to happen to another family," Christine Loria said. "Him being blown up was supposed to be the worst thing, but it wasn't. That the military doesn't care was the worst."

Christine Loria was at the end of her rope earlier this week when she called her wounded husband's commanders at Fort Hood, Texas, and gave them a piece of her mind. The Army was discharging her husband, Robert, after he lost his arm and suffered other severe injuries in Iraq, without even gas money to drive his car home.

"I am up here and he's there. That's 1,800 miles away," she said. "I had to call his chain of command and scream at them." Their reaction, she said, was "very mature." (sarcasim)

"If he feels that way, why is his wife talking for him? Why doesn't he come talk to us himself?" she remembers them asking her.

"Because on some level, he still respects you," she answered. "I don't have that problem."

Dianna Cahn - Who to call to help

Outraged about Army Spc. Robert Loria's plight? Speak your mind. Below are contact numbers for federal legislators and defense officials.
U.S. Senate: Hillary Clinton: 202-224-4451;
Charles Schumer: 212-486-4430
Maurice Hinchey: 845-344-3211;
Sue Kelly: 845-897-5200
Secretary of Defense: Donald Rumsfeld: 703-692-7100
Fort Hood: Major General James D. Thurman: 254-288-2255
Fort Hood operator at 254-287-1110;
Public Information Officer Jim Whitmeyer: 254-287-0103

For your own peace of mind END THE SILENCE! Use the links in my sidebar to let your reps know how you feel!

   6/25/2005

Live math - Division

We are so wrapped up in supporting Jewel and her family that it makes things like my 7/10's of a mile out and back (my first mile!) bike ride seem like a foolish accomplishment, not worthy of mention. (but I stuck it in anyway, I'm proud of me!)

People are not very bright sometimes. Right now is one of those times. 6,447,709,898 is the approx. number of people in the USA. First, we are divided by male and female, then by color, religion, income, politics, height, weight, scent, clothing, hair style, intelligence and on down the line.

Divided by just the 11 items I listed we are broken into little islands of people that don't communicate well with each other. Smaller groups are easier to manipulate. Different groups respond to different stimulation. No one gets the whole story because only a few lines of communication are open between us. The math here is "Divide and control".

The math isn't working for us, it's working for the polititians. This is the equation as I see it. One planet, one species. Can we work at that? We all have to share everything to make it stretch till we have enough technology to get us to the NEXT planet! My request is that we UNITE and Survive.

I wish I could do for the world what the mate and I do with the resources here. It all goes in one pile and we pay our dues, share with others and THEN we party. Not communisim but taking care of the young and old, the sick, the sad, the hungry because we can, when we have enough to share with them. Patriotic, duty, responsibility, contributing to the a better life for all people. That was what we started to do in Iraq, help them have a better life without Saddam. Now, I am not sure what we are doing and we need some goals that include getting the h... out of there.

Right now we are trying to stretch one income and one unemployment check to cover one emergency. You do what you have to do to make it work. We bought a camper this winter that we were really excited about using. It's a fancy pop up for behind the bike and really easy to set up. With my physical limits that's important. We sold it last night to a friend for less than we paid. Why? We need more money to get family to where the soldier is going to land. The Big Red Truck (98 Dodge Ram SUV 4WD on the fly, in fair body condition and GREAT running condition) hasn't sold. We expect it to go for the price we are asking come winter. Gas price or no gas price, you have to be able to get around in a Michigan winter and the Big Red Truck does it well. But we needed more cash now.

(this is NOT a begging post, we have it under control. If you want to donate to something check the links in "Isn't one too many?" )

Do we regret it? There is a little wistfulness, it was a good deal and a nice camper, we would have enjoyed it, but not a tear of regret! The soldier needs us, the brother needs us and we will have our self respect for knowing we have done everything we can to help both of them. We sleep better that way!

You see, when we are gone our soldier will remember we loved her even on her worse day and maybe some of the things we have tried to show her will help get her through her hard times. It's a kind of legacy. By taking care of our loved ones and people who need a hand we show them how to care about others. If she takes care of someone who needs help, they learn what it is like to get a helping hand. Maybe they will help someone else. And helping each other is all we have going for us.

Theoretically humans can band together for protection, hunting, farming, warmth and put aside their difference. Two prides of lions will fight, losing the best of both prides to the battle. It is their nature. We can overcome our nature to unite. Can'twe? Or are we just dying lions?

No, it's not right to let someone get away with attacking New York. Show me who did it! Bomb 'em back to the stone age! I am not a bleeding heart. I believe some people just need killing, like child molesters, rapists and serial killers. I will defend myself and my territory. I think every home owner that has nothing else to do should go to CT right now to protest private property being emenently domained to private companies! I have and know how to use guns and I won't let them take them away from us if I can avoid it. But let ME decide if I want to wear a helmet, a seat belt or if I want to die. If you are old enough to fight in a war, you are old enough to drink legally. I pretty much cover the range of confusing beliefs, I guess.

I still have to believe we can overcome what we percieve to be our differences and find the core of what we have in common - we are all humans. We breathe, we bleed, we die.

So do it now. Don't just BITCH. Little KIDS wrote and got PBS funds back in the budget. If enough ADULTS write the bigger kids will come home.

Write just one letter to Washington saying War is Wrong, bring our kids home and send diplomats. Ask one friend to write a letter and ask one friend to write a letter. Don't let them divide us by antiquated and obsolete catagories. We are one people on one planet. Let's make our leaders STOP BLOWING IT UP!

  • State Legislature – Search information from state legislatures and U.S. territories.
  • State Governors – Find e-mail, telephone and postal info for your governor by clicking on his or her website.
  • U.S. Senators – Find a list of U.S. senators and links to their websites, organized by state.
  • U.S. Representatives – Find your U.S. representative's contact information by typing in your zip code.
  • President George W. Bush – E-mail the President or Vice President; call or write the White House.This site tells you how.

She's not home yet

Like a blog, read it from the bottom up.

Obviously our goal is to have no one hurt ever, but truly SPC Weiler is not critically injured. I know it sounds like a lot, and numerically she does have a lot of wounds, but she was never in danger of dying, loosing any limbs or use of limbs, or anything like that. She is very bruised up, has a huge number of minor cuts and punctures along with a few more serious cuts, and the broken leg and all, but I saw her when it was the worst and I know she will be back at 100% soon.

Right now is probably the worst time for her, because she will be extremely sore and hurting, but I will bet within two weeks she’ll be much, much better and giving the doctors hell about her cast and the rest of it.

We have a very strong family readiness group that is always willing to help, and someone should be calling you today. If you do not hear from anyone tonight please let me know tomorrow.

Jewel is a really great trooper and we all like working with her. Again, please let me know if you can’t work out a way to make a trip to Fayetteville work.
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I just got off the phone with the duty nurse on Jewel’s ward. Unfortunately she will not be on the flight tomorrow, and it looks like the next flight will be Tuesday.

There were two separate reasons she did not get on the flight. First is the blood count I wrote about before. Due to the injuries and the surgery she had a bit of blood loss anemia, and her red blood count was not high enough this morning to qualify her for a high altitude flight. They gave her blood this afternoon, but did not do a new test for her “H&H” count until about four hours ago. The results of that test have not come back, so when the manifest closed she was not eligible to fly.

Second is the fact that the hospital in Germany is very full right now due to a surge in injured soldiers over the last week. The manifest is based on a combination of “First in – first out”, and on seriousness of injuries; Jessica was low on both criteria so even had she been qualified would most likely have not got on the flight tomorrow.

It is possible they will request another air evacuation mission before Tuesday based on the number of patients, but Tuesday is the next one going for sure.

I asked the nurse specifically is this was basically an administrative decision or represented a downturn for her condition, and the answer was administrative. She is still doing well. The nurse said she was eating and talking several times today and was still upbeat. Her condition has improved, she is still stable, and her prognosis is still for a full recovery.

The hospital orthopedic surgeon also examined her today. They now think that her left arm may be only sprained and not broken. She has swelling, pain, and weakness in the left arm and hand, so there is clearly some damage of some type, but based on the improvements today they think it may be less than a break. Because she was initially expected to fly tomorrow they did not schedule further treatment for her leg and arm, but tomorrow morning she should be re-evaluated by the orto specialist.

I will continue to call at least once in the morning and once in the afternoon until she flies for the United States. Please let me know if there is anything else I can help, questions I can answer, or coordination you need.
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I just talked to SPC Jewel and to her nurse in Germany. She is doing well and sounded better than yesterday. She says so, and the nurse says so too. Nurse said she was much more alert and responsive today and seemed in better spirits.

Right now she is receiving some blood to make up for the overall blood loss of the last three days. All her drainage tubes are out, and she remains stable and in good shape. Her broken leg and arm have not been set or treated yet; most likely course of action is that they will move her back to the U.S. and she will receive definitive treatment at Womack Army Hospital on Ft. Bragg.

Right now the next flight is tomorrow. They working to get her on it and are hopeful, but her blood count needs to come up a bit before they will let her fly from Germany. The manifest for that flight will be available in a few hours, and I will call back in four to five hours to confirm if she is on it or not. If her blood count and potassium level is not high enough and she does not make it, they may set her leg in Germany while she waits for the next flight, which at this point looks like Tuesday.

****************************************************************

I just spoke to the floor nurse on night duty in Jewel’s ward. She has just arrived back in her room from post-operation recovery. The nurse said that her prognosis was still good and that everything seemed to have gone well. At this time she was awake but still feeling the affects of the anesthesia and medications.

The surgery this afternoon was to ensure all the wounds had been cleaned out, that all debris was removed, and that all bleeding was under control. It looks like she had some abdominal injuries that did need to be treated, and should be fixed. The nurse said she was not in pain and had asked about eating something. Also they confirmed that she does have some type of fracture in her left arm as well as the lower right leg. To my knowledge these have not yet been set.

I asked about her eventual destination, and found out that they have begun to prepare a movement request with the destination of Ft. Bragg / Womack Army Medical Center. This is very preliminary, but there was a form in her chart that had been started as a working document. From what I was able to find out the next medical flight from Germany to the US is likely to be on Sunday, and it is possible she could be on that flight depending on the doctor’s assessment over the next day.

I will call again tomorrow in the late morning or early afternoon, talk to her, and let you know anything I find out about her condition or her movement plan.

   6/24/2005

Wounded American Soldier

Like a blog, read it from the bottom up. I have to say they really do an impressive job keeping you notified. Even when the Mate was Army it might take a week before they let you know what was happening.

Just FYI. This lady is only barely 5'2" and had to try 3 times to get in the Army. She really wanted to do this and excelled in all her classes. Now she is hurt before the senate sets up soldiers disability insurance. Let's hope they don't let her down.

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Sent: Friday, June 24, 2005 3:12 AM


Jewel has checked into LRMC. She is in Room 224, which is on Ward 8D. The direct dial number for her room is **********; the DSN number to the room would be *********. If you cannot get an answer in the room, it may be because she is being treated or is asleep – if you need to speak to someone the nurse’s station for that ward is ***********.

I spoke to SPC Wondergirl just a few minutes ago. She said she was very tired and sounded exhausted, which is what I would expect, but she said he was doing OK. She told me they were about to move her into surgery prep, so I don’t know how much longer she will be in the room or when she will be back. The surgery is to verify that all her injuries were completely cleaned out and properly treated here, and to ensure any fluid build up is drained.

I have not spoken to a doctor in Germany about her treatment plan, but based on her injuries, the comments of the doctors here, and our prior experiences, I would guess that the most likely sequence of events would be a stay at LRMC in Germany for two to five days, followed by a move back to the U.S. She is most likely to either end up at Womack Army Hospital on Fort Bragg for convalescent leave (which is what I think will happen) or at Walter Read Army Hospital in the D.C. area for additional treatment.

**************************
Sent: Friday, 24 June 2005 08:56


Jewel’s plane is wheels down in Germany now, but she has not yet arrived at LRMC. I gave the triage nurse your email address, and she promised to send you a message as soon as they have a room assignment and phone number.

In any case I will call back to Germany again in about two hours and see if she is settled. I will send you all the room and phone information at that time.

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Sent: Friday, 24 June 2005 04:09

SPC Wondergirl did get on the flight to Germany tonight. The flight actually took off about one hour ago or so ago. At this point the time differences begin to kick in, so here is the best idea of a timeline I can give you:

· It’s about 0348 here in Iraq, 0148 in Germany (two hours earlier), and 7:48PM East Coast time in the US, if I have my time zones right.
· The flight is scheduled to land at Ramstein Airbase at about 0600 local time in Germany, roughly four hours from now.
- It should take about 20 minutes to get everyone off the plane, and about 20 minutes driving time to get to the hospital, depending on weather and traffic and everything else.
· By about 0700 Germany time (five hours from now, so 0100 EST, Jewel should reach a room with a phone.


I have begun calling the Landstuhl Regional Medical Center to coordinate with them. They do not have a room assignment yet and will not do that officially until she is admitted, but I should be able to find that out either just before or just after the plane lands. Her room should have a phone, and you should be able to talk to her there.

The international direct dial number will be ****************. If you have access to a DSN phone, the number would be ****************. The last four digits will be the extension number for the room which I will forward to you as soon as I can find out the room assignment or the ward she’ll stay on for the floor nurse phones. Again I think I’ll be able to send that to you before she even arrives in the room, and whenever I find out I’ll forward it right away.

*****************************
Sent: Thursday, 23 June 2005 22:33


I have just confirmed that Jewel did arrive in Balad as scheduled. Her condition is still stable and her prognosis is good. I also confirmed that she is tentatively schedule to fly to Germany tonight. As before, the manifest is never final until they shut the door of the plane, but right now the flight is two to three hours away and they are planning on putting her on it.

She is in Ward Four of the Balad hospital, which is the ward for stable patients who are doing well – Ward Four is always a good sign. The only change in her condition is that the doctor is considering putting a temporary cast on her left hand. Her hand and wrist have swelled a bit, and he is not sure if that is the result of a bruise, a break, or a sprain, so he is likely going to put a cast on it for protection and for some support for comfort.

I have not yet been able to speak directly to her, but the doctors are all saying positive things.
I will call the hospital again in three to five hours and try to confirm if she is on the way to Germany or not, and I will let you know what I find out. Once she is on a plane I will begin making contact with Landstuhl Regional Medical Center, and I should be able to give you a more specific ETA in Germany and eventually a direct dial number to her room.


*****************************
Sent: Thursday, 23 June 2005 18:20


PC Wondergirl has left Baghdad for the medical facility on Balad Airfield. Her flight left here 1710, about one hour ago local time here. She should arrive there within the next hour. I will call the hospital in Balad to confirm her arrival in about two to three hours.

When soldiers arrive they are always given a complete re-evaluation and they have to have paperwork processed, so that can take time depending on what else is going in when they arrive.

The next flight from Balad to Germany will leave sometime around midnight tonight from Balad. The goal is to have Jewel on that flight, however I may not know if she made the flight or not until late tonight or early tomorrow morning. The reason for this is that the manifest for the medical flight is constantly changing, and if more seriously wounded soldiers were to arrive they would go first. Because Jewel is in stable condition and her life is not in danger she could be bumped, although they usually have an extremely high success rate for getting everyone on the first flight after arrival.

The flight to Germany typically takes about seven hours, and once they arrive there is always a delay caused by moving the soldiers from the plane to the hospital, another initial exam, and administrative paperwork. Once SPC Wondergirl is in the medical center in Germany, she will be able to make and receive calls, but at this point I would not count on getting any calls in the next 24 hours – when they arrive they always treat all injuries as quickly as possible, so whatever she needs for her leg will be done right away if they can, and that will lead to a delay in her reaching a room with a phone.

I will keep you posted on all flight information as soon as I receive it.

*****************************
Sent:Thursday, 23 June 2005 12:58


I have some more news for you, and it is good. 1SG Goodguy, your daughter’s company First Sergeant, has just called me from the hospital. SPC Wondergirl is still roughed up and under some sedation / medication, but she was able to wake up and talk to them. She knows you have been informed of the accident, and she is still rated as in good condition.

She is going to begin movement to Germany later this evening. The specific reason she is still being evacuated is her broken leg. She will go to Germany for the orthopedic doctors to look at the leg, and set it or do surgery for that as needed. We believe at this time she will almost certainly be further evacuated at some point to Ft. Bragg for convalescence, recovery, and any physical therapy for her leg.

I have found out from 1SG Goodman that the doctor who treated her did take out all the shrapnel from her. At this point the doctor believes there is no more debris left to be removed, which is very good. It also appears that the injuries described to her lung area and liver may have been either overstated, or may have been confused in conversation with another female soldier admitted at the same time with similar injuries. Jewel does have a small drainage tube in her nose right now to assist in keeping her lungs clear of any fluid build up, but she is not expected to have any complications in this area.

When a soldier moves as a medical evacuation, the system used to track that move is called TRACES. Each soldier gets what is called a "site number". SPC Wondergirl’s site number for her move from Baghdad, through Balad, to Germany is *********. If you or anyone else calls a hospital, that number will allow them to quickly tell you where she is in terms of the movement to Germany. If you call the hospital itself asking for an update on her condition, ask to speak to the patient representative and use her social security number (typically works faster).

As I write this message they have not yet established her flight schedule or itinerary, but I will continue to ask and I’ll let you know that timeline as soon as it begins to develop.

*****************************
Sent: Thursday, 23 June 2005 08:57


I have just got off the phone with the hospital where your daughter is currently receiving treatment. The good news is that at this time she is doing fine, had a good night, and is stable. She is not in any danger, and everyone I spoke with said she should have no problems making a full recovery and will not have any loss of any functions.

Since I wrote the note below I have received better information, so I’m going to recap all her injuries here. There are some rumors going around, but what I write here came directly from her doctor and from my personal observation.

SPC Wondergirl was very close to the blast, and got hit with a lot of fragments. She has a very large number of very small wounds. Most of her wounds are skin punctures from small pieces of rocks. A smaller number are from metal fragments. Most of these are on her legs.

Her most serious injuries appear to be two small pieces of metal that did penetrate her torso. One is in the area of her left lung, the other is near the right lobe of her liver. Her lung was not punctured by the fragment and she is having no trouble breathing, it is just in the lung area of her chest.

Her liver was slightly nicked and she had some fluid build up in her pelvis, but none of the major arteries or veins in the area were cut. The doctor I spoke with stated that they would make a decision in Germany about removing these, but there will not be any surgical intervention here because again the injuries are not critical or dangerous, and due to the dirt here they do not do any surgery unless there is no choice.

Jewel has a facture of her right fibula. She has a cast on her right leg and a brace for her right knee. I asked about the previous report that she had broken anything in her left leg or her femur, and the doctor today said it was her right fibula. I’ll continue to check on this and should be able to send you a 100% verified account within the next two hours.

She has several small cuts. The most serious cut is on her face to the left of her mouth, and it’s about 3/4 of an inch long. This and a few other cuts have been stitched. Other cuts were on her shoulder and several very minor ones on her legs.

She was initially intubated to help with breathing while they examined and treated her last night, but the tube is out and she was awake and communicating this morning.

This information is slightly different than what I sent out last night, and may change again, but I will keep you fully updated on all changes or additional developments.
SPC Wondergirl will be evacuated to Balad Airfield Iraq and then on to Landstuhl Regional Medical Center in Germany tonight. They do not yet have flight times or a tracking number for her, but I will get that later this afternoon and forward to you as soon as I receive it. Once she gets to LRMC she will have a phone in her room, and when I get that number I will let you know immediately. You will be able to call that number through the military phone system if you have access, or commercially if you don’t.


I was not able to speak to Jewel this morning because she was groggy and the phone in the hospital here would not reach her bed, but her lieutenant and platoon sergeant will by flying in to see her within the next half hour, and again I will keep you posted with all the information as soon as we receive it.

*****************************
Sent: Wednesday, 22 June 2005 21:39


I have just got off the phone with the hospital in the IZ. The good news is SPC Wondergirl’s lungs are clear – there was no puncture or compromise of her torso, only relatively minor shrapnel wounds.

She has several deep shrapnel wounds to her right leg with possible damage to her femur. The corpsman I talked to was not sure if it was fractured or not, or if the damage was from impact or shrapnel. There is also a single fracture on her lower left leg. She will be admitted, but no decision has been made regarding MEDEVAC. She is not in any danger or in critical condition. I will call again at 0600 to see if there is any update.

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Sent:Wednesday, 22 June 2005 21:17
Subject: Injured Soldiers


We need to keep each set of family members updated with every 6 hours or so. This is most effective by e-mail.
***************************
I want to add a big thank you to the soldier that just tracks the wounded and sends the emails to the family. It may seem like an easy job but it must be difficult to find the words sometimes. Prayers going up for all of the wounded and all of the soldiers in Iraq and everywhere.

   6/23/2005

Isn't one too many?

I hope you can find the time today to look at a few of the links that follow. Open your heart and search it when you are done.

I am not only non political but politically ignorant. I vote, but usually in a state of despair that there are no candidates worth the paper we punch the hole in, and choose what I hope are the lesser of the evil weasels that are running for office. I claim no concept of the larger picture - I do, however, have an OPINION.

Pulling up extra tall, heavy duty soap box, clambering up to stand on top. Reaches in pocket for wireless microphone. "Testing....Test. Can you hear me now? OK."

Support our Troops! Yes , we do that. How? Putting a cute magnet on the vehicle? By keeping in touch with the ones we know?At least until we kinda forget them in the flow of everyday life. Then we send a joke or a chain email and the letters and boxes from home stop. Then the jokes stop. The calls stop. They are too busy, broke and far from home to call us. They don't want to be an imposition or extra cost to strapped families so they won't call collect. They're tough, they're soldiers, nothing can stop them.

Except a bullet, a car bomb, a hundred other ways to kill a human or, in our case a motar round.

Dear Jewel, eldest daughter of mate's youngest brother and favorite niece,

We have just received word that you have been wounded and are being evacuated to Germany.

Your Dad got the email that says you had many surface wounds from flying schrapnel and pieces embedded near your spine and liver. The second email detailed the leg, broken near the knee that has been set in a cast and a knee brace. They also said you have a slash cut in your face from the lip to the cheek. The third one said you had been treated, the schrapnel removed and wounds treated and would be
evacuated to Germany. Your Dad told your Uncle Bill and Grampa Ron. Uncle called me at work. We are letting the rest of the family know.

I called your Dad. After your Uncle left he got a call from you, praise God! He was so happy to hear your voice! He told me you had to hang up to get on the transport that is taking you away from that place on your first step home. He wishes he could be in Germany to meet you and be with you but we will all have to wait till you are in the States again. He gave me your TRACES tracking number but there is no place on line I can find to get info on you with it. I guess we have to call the hospital when you arrive.

I hope this letter finds you. We all want you to know we are praying for you and will do whatever we can to help. Call collect our time in the evening to let us know what you need. ***********. If you need someone to contact your fiance who is still over in Iraq, let me know.

I know how much surgury takes out of you so don't expect to just hop up and party for a while. It's ok to be too tired to even talk or read a book. Just rest and let your body and heart heal.

We love you and will join you when we can.

Your Dad and family,
Grampa R and Grama A
Uncle B and Aunt V
Grama W and Grama P (my mom)
Cousins D, A and their families
All the other W's that love you

P.S. Sending a copy to the hospital as well as your email.


And we are among the lucky ones. There are others, families that are getting a special notice about their boys and girls - the ones that will not be home - EVER.

And what about the previously wounded? Here's great news! low-cost “traumatic injury” insurance for members of America’s armed forces. Now, explain to me, why a country that was EMARRASSED into sending a LARGER donation to tsunami victims has soldiers that need INSURANCE related to their war injuries? We can't take care of our own?

We can't take care of our own. Chairities are making sure our wounded have backpacks to transport belonging, personal care and hygine items, a way to call home. Charities are providing military families with help while the soldier heals.

Why are there no photos of the action in Iraq? Read This, PLEASE. Where are the films of 6 soldiers being blown up by land mines, the children crippled and bloody from car bomb fragments? The images that would make us sick, that we won't let children watch because we are bombing other children? Where is the photo of the truth of war; the things that we refuse to picture, even in our minds as we read them? Is it just me? I don't read a lot of real papers, I get my new online. I checked google for iraq, soldier wounded. Not many links to real news places.

"DR. GENE BOLLES: The average American has not really witnessed the horrifying aspects of war, except from a distance, except from reading, except from what they may see on television. And we aren't showing very much here." Why not? Because we would have to take a stand against it. It's out there - on the web! In blogs and dot orgs. Check it out.

Can anyone show me how blowing up one more person is going to bring us closer to peace? Why is our fearless leadership sitting in it's cushioned office chairs (at 1500.00 a pop) on it's soft, lazy butts while our children are killed? Why are the 300,000 or so Great High Kabunga's telling the remaining 6,529,357,000 people to beat each other up from the comfort of their limos?

BECAUSE we let them. You let them. I let them. We grant permission by our SILENCE! As an adult citizen of the United States of America if you do not TELL them to stop, if you do not mail one letter to Washington saying War is the Wrong Way to solve disputes, then you are joining them as a warmonger .

If the people of the world can't stomach the destruction we can now cause with our hi tech, remote control weapons then the people of the world have to say ENOUGH. STOP. Stop the fighting and the bickering and butchering NOW.

Ask one mom if she would sacrifice her son or daughter for world peace. A few will say yes. I might even sacrifice ME for world peace. But isn't even one more life too many dead?

Ok, it is a rant. I have no grand plan to make the US quit wasting our money overseas an concentrate on making the section of the planet we have last longer. I turn off the lights, the faucets, drive to work and back as often as I can on the least fuel eating machine I have. I don't have room for a windmill and not enough money for thermal heating. I do what I can.

But I don't see how the US can fix anything anywhere until it fixes what is wrong at home. Stop the wars. Bring the kids home. Fix the infrastructure, feed the hungry, find all of us that want to work jobs so that we don't have to move to Mexico to work, get our kids in GOOD schools, let us disipline our children to teach them not to fight and bully but to share and compromise.

Share and compromise. Make Peace. Don't be so greedy. Get by with what you have. Share what you have too much of. Be kind to each other.

I love this world, the wilderness, the animals, the beaches and trees. I want it to last and I want to be proud to be an American again.

   6/22/2005

Partners in Crime

OK, I did it! Something I never did because it was BAD but lots of my friends did. I STOLE a STEET SIGN!!!! I stole this sign I just had to do it, I loved this one so! I wanted it for the yard!

Up until I was 15 I almost didn't do anything really bad. I screwed up, like all kids, but I had an over developed ability to predict consequences and it kept me from doing a lot of "fun" bad stuff.

Street sign stealing was a big BAD because someone might get hurt if you happen to take the sign that said "BRIDGE OUT" or "HIGH VOLTAGE".

But now I found a way to do it and NOT get in trouble or hurt anyone...I stole a VIRTUAL street sign.

It was so much fun I just went and did it again!I stole this sign I stole it right off this blog and they never saw me coming or going. I am so SLICK!

Try it! Go steal your own street sign! I Double Dog Dare You!

Post a link to it in the comments! I think this might be a Street Sign Stealing Spree Carnival!

Oh Boy! My first Blog party! Invite all your friends! BYOB!! No minors!

   6/21/2005

Not always perfect

If you have been stumbling along here, you know my bike has an undiagnosed charging problem and that I have been waiting for some parts for it from the great cousins. The wonderful mate took off yesterday afternoon, in the little red truck, (which is a sacrifice on his part because it was biker weather) to meet the Cousin and pick up some parts for me.

I knew he would be late getting home as it's about 2 hours one way and chatting with the cousins is fun for both of us so he would take the opportunity to get caught up with them. I did ride the bike yesterday. Knowing he wasn't waiting for me I worked late, stopped by the Mom's and interrupted her Weight Haters meeting, drove home at a Sunday Driver pace and counted deer, buzzards, cats, kids and such while enjoying the scenery and the lovely weather.

I let the animals in, fed everyone, made my dinner and extra in case he was hungry when he got in, finished reading a book, walked the flowers and picked the strawberries and spinach, propped up the peas, and noted the feeders needed filling. It was too dark to ride the other bike by then so I sat down with a new book and an old movie. He got home about 10 minutes later.

Now, note - I had a quiet, peaceful evening. Nothing bad had happened.

As he pulled up he honked for me to come and see what he had for me. I got up, slipped on my mocs and trotted out to look. We greeted each other, traffic wasn't too bad, I was fine, bike was ok with headlight fuse pulled - rubbed noses, so to speak.

I swear, we both don't really know how it started but it had something to do with him and the cousin deciding what was wrong with my bike and me disagreeing with the verdict. When he retorically asked who knew the most about motorcycles, I tried to stop myself but threw down, "My Dad!"

So what does he do then? Forgive me, sort of. "What I should say is , "then get HIM to fix it for you" and walk out of here, but I won't."

We go back to huffing and puffing under our breath and unloading the bags and the seat he also brought home for me. Now, the seat that I wanted, an original one, was torn and old, which I expected, and I said I wanted the original pan to put a new seat kit on while he said the foam was fine, I just needed a cover and then I said and then he said...next thing you know I am in the dining room crying my face off and he is in the living room, telling me he's not angry with me on his way by.

Yup, a fight. Man, I HATE that! So does the mate. Especially when we get mean. That's supposed to be against the rules. Stick to the topic, no personal slamming. We couldn't hold hands while we were fighting because we were using them, that broke another rule.

I sat there at the table till the tears dried up and tried to figure out why I would be fighting with the man who has just driven 300 miles to get parts for my bike, backed it into the garage to work on it and sent me off the sexometer scale twice in less than 12 hours loving me!

Well, the day before was Father's Day. I didn't have anyone to call. He did, but didn't much want to as he doesn't have much in common with his Dad. His girl came over and did the things I wish I had done more of while I had my dad and that made me glad for them and sad for me. My sis was busy when I called to commismerate with her and I had no one to talk about Dad with. I stifled it.

Then I count on my fingers and figure out, how wonderful, it's HORMONE TIME again on top of all the rest. I was just getting up to go in and begin apologizing to him when he got up to come out to me. It only takes 10 to 20 minutes for us to chill.

I told him I was sorry, I should not have been mean, he's twice the man my dad was and I think some of it was hormones. He says he's sorry, too and that he already knew it was hormones which starts to tick me off all over again except he is right. Barring extreme life problems and "The Incredible Journey" or "Old Yeller", I never cry except Hormone Week. Then I cry if you don't say you love dinner or other pitiful reasons only another hormone sufferer can understand.

Why did I blog it? Because it's part of being a loving couple. Learning to deal with hurt feelings, to fight more constructively and to admit when you are wrong are all part of the inter-personal skills you need to develop if you want a long term relationship to last.

Why learn these skills? Because no where on this planet are there two people that can be together all the time and NOT have a fight, a bad day at work that follows them home, a hormone hell fit, and even the occasionally "I will NOT back down" attitude just because you are feeling froggy and gotta jump on SOMEBODY and the mate happens to be right there and handy.

You can't have it perfect everyday even when you love each other beyond death and into the next life. If you expect pouts and spats and real fights, you can have tools in place to deal with them and, hopefully, they won't get out of hand and ruin your love.

Just FYI - Here are some of ours.

  • No hitting. (Hit either of us and we are OUT of here!)

  • Sit on the couch and hold hands while you fight.(It's hard to be really angry with the physical reminder that you love each other and it's hard to swing at someone who is holding your hand)

  • If you are upset, tell me NOW when, maybe, I can fix it. (Don't wait till in the car on the way home to say I did a bad thing, I can't fix it then. )

  • (HINT: We actually have code words that mean "you are screwing up!!! Stop what you are doing/saying!" so we can correct each other without a scene in public. Don't use way out words, just a pet name that means bad, like "sweetie" that you don't normally use.)

  • Never go to bed angry.

  • Only fight about one thing at a time. (Note: we broke this rule, too.)

  • Nobody sleeps on the couch unless they are sick physically. (sick and tired of it doesn't count.)

  • Getting too angry? Call time out. (go to different areas to chill and think)

  • Nobody leaves till it is resolved. (You can't fix it if there is no one to patch it up with)

  • NO threats to leave. (This is just mean-If you tell me you are leaving, believe me, your stuff will be on the porch and the locks changed before daylight. I will not live like that in our own home.)

  • If you do leave, get all your stuff NOW, no do-overs, we will be DONE. (No going home to Mom or out to the bar or to hide at your buddies and expecting to get back in here.)

  • No cheap shots. (Oh YA? Well, Mom always liked you best!)

  • If you really can't reach an agreement compromise. (If it is his event we do it on his schedule, If it's my event we do it on MY schedule)

  • Always go back to back against the kids. (Present a united front. He says spank, she says ground, it's his kid, you BOTH tell kid it's getting spanked and why. DO NOT say "Daddy says so or Mommy says so" or they will play you off against each other like pinballs.)

  • And - just one from my aunt. "I may have married the biggest jerk on the planet but nobody is hearing that from me!"

  • Don't run your mate down to others. It's sure to cause a fight when it gets back to them.

Even if you break some of the rules start listing in your head the last ten nice things your mate has done for you. It will help you get your perspective back.

Recap

We had a good weekend with great weather, for a change, and took full advantage of it. Saturday morning during the wake up coffee and bird watching the mate said, "Let's go north."

We had not gone on a long ride together yet this year and I was up for it. My bike needed the miles. There was a little debate on which way to go, what vehicles to take, the weather and such but we ended up going on both bikes.

The day was cool and cloudy. The weather map showed it blowing away but the map must have been stuck in yesterday's loop; we saw one tiny patch of blue sky and that was it all day. We stopped at the flea market so I could look for sunglasses. I hadn't been there in a year or two. A little further down the road we put good gas in the bikes and scooted about another 12 miles to find breakfast.

The place we ate is just a little joint in the middle of nowhere but has great service and good food. We had just walked in the door when a man in the first booth asked me what year my Gold Wing was. He looked really interested and we chatted for a few minutes. I told him for a grand I would run home and get the title. The wife was with him and it was no sale but he walked around it twice before he left. It was flattering!

Mate and I got back on the road. We were about a mile or two south of the turn to our friend's house when a black bear ran across the road in front of us! Whoa! My brain processed, large dog, no, BEAR, YOUNG bear while mate and I were slowing down. I was watching the car behind me and the mate was hollering, "It's a BEAR!" when the brain added, "Where's the mama?" to the info it was presenting to me. We were almost to where it had gone across and mate was rubbernecking to see where it went when I called, "Where's the MaMa? Let's GO!" and picked up the tempo. I sure didn't want to be stopped in the road when she came runnning after her wandering child! Now THAT was worth the ride!

Last year in the UP we got to watch a silly younger moose browsing in the bushes on the side of the road. While we were sitting there enjoying the rush people were pulling over and getting the cameras out and such. One boy about 12 started to walk up to it like he was going to PET it! His dad snatched him back by the shirt but he'd gotten too close and the moose went on his way. We went back to camp and discussed sadly how kids only see things on TV and don't know the rules for dealing with wildlife in reality. He could have been seriously hurt, even if the moose only turned his head to look at him, by the rack that animal carried wacking him upside the head.

We left a note with #1Friends after I watered their dog. She'd knocked over her bowl. Friends#2 were expecting us and we had a nice visit with them. The yard and house had both been worked on since I was there last. Their dog that was their pup and then my dog and then their dog again greeted me with the dance of joy and it was great to see him again. The kids were in and out with their friends. It was a cozy and fun visit.

I refilled my water jug there and about lost it when I took the first sip. ACK! Ick! City water! Yuck! I had forgotten it was so nasty! We have a well with just a filter on it for the rust and heavy stuff. It tastes pretty good to me. I don't know how you guys drink that stuff everyday! And the coffee? Don't want to think about it.

The clouds were still there but we still hadn't hit any rain so we putted back the way we came and went home via "the bear road". We got gas and about 10 miles later I needed a break again. We pulled into a little gas station by the flea market and when I came out the bike wouldn't start. Battery was dead.

The mate and I hooked up the jumper cables we had along for just that reason and she rolled right over. We took off for home and turned down one of our favorite side roads only to find out a mile later that they had torn off all the black top and turned it back into a gravel road. Fast U turn! But I stalled the bike when I lost my grip on the clutch. Red face. I got the cover off while the mate got the cables out and we jumped her again. We got home just fine.

Mate left her with the trickle charger overnight Sunday and I took her to work yesterday. We pulled the headlight fuse and she charged just fine. We will get the part to fix her with soon.

Sunday, Fathers Day, was harder for me than I expected. I called the sis to talk and see how she was doing with it but she was doing barn chores. I stifled it, mostly.

I made the mate his favorite breakfast and an extra pot of coffee. #1Son called to wish him a happy father's day. He was stuck in NC with a load and couldn't get home for his first FD and was bumming about it. I felt badly for him but couldn't help. I hope he gets home this weekend and has a delayed FD for himself!

Mate's #1daughter with 2nd grandson came over bearing steaks, salads and pies. We grilled the steaks and they watched the races while we visited. It was very nice and Mate enjoyed it.

#2daughter for mate and my Eldest Daughter have yet to be heard from. One was out of town and one is having personal troubles so I don't think they will call till later.

The boss will be gone THREE whole days this week! And that's where I have to get - work.

More later.

   6/17/2005

Too much insurance?

It's a running joke in our house that the mate is after my insurance. I don't have all that much but if he sold the house, too, it's enough for a long vacation on the bike (like 5 years) anywhere he wants to go.

For my 50th bday he gave me a lovely diamond ring with channel set stones in a white gold band. I loved these when I first saw them. They don't stick up to catch on things, no prongs to wear out, and they are multiply shiny!!

First sunny day driving home from work I noticed how nicely the sun glistened on it and made lots of colorful, twinkling lights. When I got home I walked in and said, "Ah HA! Your subtle scheme to collect the insurance is EXPOSED! Found Out! I caught you! HA!"

Looking at me in bemused innocence the mate queried, "Huh?"

"You KNOW I can't resist shiny, glittery, twinkling things! When the sun shines on my ring I MUST admire it, turn it to see how many colors it can flash at the same time, how PRETTY it is! I almost DROVE OFF THE ROAD!"

Confusion changes to understanding role in current conversation. Big, sheepish smile, "Curses! Foiled again!" He quips. "What tipped you off?"

"Before, all the shiny rocks you gave me were on chains or in containers. THIS ONE is always trying to distract me! I tricked you back, though! I turn it wrong way up when I am driving now! HA!"

Well, last night he did it again. Made a grab for the insurance, I mean.

I got home, really worn out from work and for the first time in a long time I really wanted a drink before dinner. The nice mate ran to the cabinet. "There's vodka, rum, brandy, schnapps..." He called over his shoulder, "...What's your choice?"

My choice was going to be ginger and ginger. We were out. Then second choice was fuzzy navel, also out of stock. I'm thinking and he's back holding out two bottles for me to pick from when I spot the Coffee liqueur on top of the fridge. "Black Russian!" I decide.

Now the smell of baking beef hits my nose. "Oh, that smells GOOD! What did you make for dinner, darling?" I ask as I mix my drink.

Here is where he hit me low. "barbecued meat loaf, baked potatoes, and apple pie, you pick a veggie."

I am supposed to be limiting my greasy meat intake. I do really well at it normally. Same for sauces, toppings and carbs. It sounded wonderful! There was sour cream and Cheddar cheese for dressing my potato skins and their mashed insides, barbecue sauce in the meat and ice cream to go with the pie! Then I remembered the jalapeno and cream cheese poppers in the freezer! Yum, Yum! (Must have been the booze talking)

We sat to visit about the day and watched the hummies and birds while I half my tall drink. I ran out to fill the feeders and he filled the humming bird and oriole feeders. I got about two more sips of my drink before it was time to put the poppers in and pull the pie.

"Come and get it!" He called out to me over the swift smells steaming from the open oven door.

I got through most of the potatoes, the crunchy part of the meat, (my fave) and all of my veggie along with 6 poppers before I blew up and gave the remains to my anxiously waiting dogs and one begging cat. Desert would have to wait.

I enjoyed one more chapter of my current book (2061, A. Clark) with my after dinner smoke and the rest of my drink. I managed to put my dishes in the sink and get me and all my stuff to the couch about 7 pm. I was just drifting off when #1Son called with a problem I couldn't fix unless I was in the hospital. Then I realized that with a meal that over indulging I might make it there by daylight! Rotten mate! Tricked again! He'd have all the money in about 6 weeks.

That's all I remember. No, I didn't get my bike ride in. I bitched like a sailor when the mate tried to wake me to put me to bed. I cussed people out in my drugged sleep. I said, according to the mate, "Let's all put on hockey masks and go to the office." in my sleep. I am the only one IN my office in real life.

But he loses, again. I didn't die from the wonderful but too heavy meal. I even managed to wake up and go to work on the bike today! He even offered to ride with me! I thought he just wanted to spend some time scooting with me but it may have been another attempt to get the insurance. I never know when he will strike next!

Bloggy Blog entry

I hope you will all notice I added to the blog list in the sidebar. Three of them are there because they are not only family, but they ADMIT they are family! Plus they are in CO, one of my favorite states. Of course, I like all the blogs I added.

I forgot a couple (sorry, Jezzy!) and will tuck them in there soon.

Keep me up to date on bloggers you find that are older than 50. I am surprised how many there are out here. Many only blogged once and went away, sad to say. I prefer active bloggers. Post them in the comments or send me and email. The link is at the bottom of the page in tiny print.

Cruising the blogs again, loved this one on June Bug People. The same blog had "I winked at the ceiling, saying out loud, ‘Good one, God." I do that a lot!

   6/16/2005

Friends help you live longer

Ok, I give up! I'm a news blog - but only SOMETIMES! This article says it is a network of good friends, not family, that helps you live longer.

First, the study was done in Australia over a 10 year period. We all know that Oz has poison snakes, crocs, and more natural hazards than most of us live with. The study doesn't mention "cause of death" at all.

Second, I happen to be friends with some of my family. Not ALL of them, it's not possible, we are too diverse, but with some of them I call them up just to go do stuff with for fun. We talk about things that are important to us and just hang with each other. Friends.

Third, they never mention pets. If the big bad happened and I lost the mate (throwing salt over the shoulder, knocking on wood, turning three times windershins) I don't know anyone that could make me get out of the bed, much less the house, for a long time. But the pets can't wait. They are also my friends and they depend on my opposable thumbs to turn door knobs and faucets to fill their water buckets. I'm going to have to get up, like it or lump it, or they will just line up by the bed and meow, whine, bark and pitty paw me till they are cared for. I have to go out to let them in. I have to get up to let them out. I have to live, no one will take my four animals together to a good home.

So, pretty much I feel the study is a joke. I believe it is being interested in something outside of yourself that keeps you living. Even if it is only what happens next on your soaps (ick), you feel like you have to see how it comes out. The trick then, is to be interested in something YOU feel is important; serving a meal at a soup kitchen; helping a neighbor learn to read, sew, fish, crochet;organizing a sit in to protest age discrimination; whatever, staying involved with life will keep you interested in living.

What do you think?

   6/15/2005

Friends, Death and You

I went off to read blogs, like I said I would. I hit Janet's and had to come back here for my reply to her post. Her friend's 28ish husband went from normal down to "call 911" very quickly yesterday. No word yet from what or why.

She winds up, very neatly, that she was mad at a friend for standing her up and at her Dad over a fight they had but that this incident put things in a different perspective for her. She counted her blessings and her friends and family. I bet she has talked to both of them today to work things out.

I have made friends with people in strange ways and places. One of the most unusual was a girl I will call Martha. I had gone to the library in a town north of us, not my regular local one, to see if they had a book I wanted. When I parked out front I saw the girl parked in front of me looking at me in her mirror. I didn't know her. No big deal, I went on my merry way.

I went into the library, checked for my book in the card file and went to hunt it up. The girl was in the same area. She glanced over as I walked up and I was STRUCK by the "I know this person" fairy. (I could shoot that fairy! happens all the time!) I could tell by the way she stared at me that it was a mutual wanding.

So, WTH! I asked her if we had met before. It was retorical, she KNEW we had and I KNEW we had, where was the problem. Over time I have come to believe it must have been in previous lives. When we finally gave up comparing towns, work places, bars, bands, and all the other places you meet people we started talking about the books we were looking for that day. I was searching for a new herbal and she was looking for medical info, they were just a few shelves apart.

That got us going on current lives. She was seeing a doc and checking on a drug he wanted her to try. I was just checking out the book to see if I should buy it for the reference shelf at home. Turns out the med was one I had taken after the fire to deal with depression. I told her my experience with it (all good) and some of the side effects I had heard about. Meanwhile we found it in a book that pretty much said the same thing I did.

Curiouser and...By now, we felt like old friends. I invited her home to chat some more and she decided to follow me there. I introduced the dogs, cats and mate to her then put the coffee on and we sat down at the kitchen table to have a really long talk. Mostly she talked, I nodded, commented and listened. It was quite a story. It's not mine to tell so let's just say she had made some poor decisions, ended up in some bad situations and was just coming out of a nasty relationship. She was very depressed and I don't blame her, it was depressing to hear about.

She lived with her Mother, for now, in the town where I worked. I was in retail so she could drop by and keep in touch when she needed to. We felt like old friends but I hadn't known Martha very long when she quit seeing her doc and found a new BF in Canada. She told me she was going with him and I wished her luck while putting my phone numbers at work and home on a sticky note for her.

About six weeks later she was back. The girl was a wreck emotionally and physically. The guy dumped her for someone else and left her with no money to get home. She got through it but it destroyed her. I tried to get her to see her doc again but she wouldn't. I reccomended the counseler I had seen after the fire but the receptionist was rude to her, she said, and she left before meeting her. She needed a job, she needed to get out of her mom's house. I offered to let her stay with us in the spare room but she wouldn't, no car, she said. I go to town every day, ride with me, use my wheels. No, she said.

We had these talks while I ran stock and the register. I couldn't devote 100% of my attention to her there but she wouldn't meet me after work, follow me home or go out for lunch. Her eyes got sadder and deeper and darker and I saw her wasting away inside but she wouldn't go for help! It was so frustrating.

I was telling our truck driver about her to see if he knew where she might find work. She had a CDL. He gave me a card and a number for her saying he didn't know they were hiring but the turnover was high there. I put it in my pocket thinking I might be able to cheer her up with it!
That was a Wednesday. I had to stop at the store after work for some supplies and didn't stop to see her because I had frozen foods and it was 20 miles home on a hot day.

Thursday was still hot and the store had no air. I was simmering in my own juices and headed right for the ranch with the itty bitty air conditioner we loved so much. I drove right by her home.

Friday was payday and I thought I would ask Martha out to dinner and then take her home after giving her the info on the job contact I had for her. I thought about it all day while I worked. When I went to pull into her Mom's place there were about 6 cars more than the normal 4 or 5 parked all over the place. I found a spot to squeeze mine into, brushed my hair and went up to knock on the door. A girl about 12 that I didn't know opened it and looked at me quizzically.

"Is Martha here? I'm her friend, Val" I said by way of introduction. The girl's jaw dropped and she said not a word. Martha's Mom came up behind her and recognized me. "Hello, Valerie, come in."

"It looks like you have a lot of company, I just need to speak to Martha for a moment."

"Martha killed herself, this is her funeral dinner. She was cremated", she told me. Her voice was so 'everyday toned", like I had asked the time...

The girl, hearing me invited in, pulled the door open further. I zombied in and sat at the small table where we had all visited when I was over. I was in shock. It was so cold coming from her Mom like that. Just, "BAM", right between the eyes. I couldn't think what to say or do so I just sat there.

Two or three photos in cheap frames were out on the table. They were of my friend, smiling more happily and much younger than I had ever known her. The rest of the few minutes I stayed are blurred. No one wanted to talk about it or her with me. I left quickly and in tears.

The questions! Could I have made a difference? Had I tried hard enough to get her into treatment? I didn't get to say good bye, the most used phrase at any funeral, is still a sad and hurtful truth for those left behind. I pulled over down the road a piece and cried.

I went home and kissed my beloved mate and told him he was my beloved mate. I called my sisters and parents and said I loved them. Then I called my kids and told them the same thing. I love you, I am glad you are on the planet with me for my time here. I am proud of you. I wrote a poem I called "Wait a Minute". I dreamed about her. I morned her. I missed Martha in sad and strange ways, much like we met. I don't know the answers to the questions, even now, I just try to do better.

I was careful of my friends for awhile, then I forgot. Took people in my life for granted again. My father died a few years ago. He was in a car accident but it took the docs 8 weeks to kill him. I called my friends and told them I wanted to spend more time with them, I told my kids I loved them.. I told the mate what a unique and special male adult human he was and that I loved him forever. Then I forgot again.

In June last year I had a heart attack at age 49. It came on with no warning, it built over a period of 12 hours then nailed me to the floor on my way to the first hospital. A quick ambulance ride, fairly non-invasive surgury and a stint to fix a bent and clogged artery fixed me right up.

I had so many people in ICU to see me that the nurses thought shouldn't be there ( not strictly family, ya know,) and they wanted them to leave so I could rest. I told the nurse that I had all the same germs they did already and if I was going to die then I was saying good bye to every single one of them. If they cared enough to make it to the hospital, ( a nasty drive for most of them) just keep sending them in! None of this, "I didn't get to say good bye" crap at my funeral!

I was home in a few days and feeling a little better in a few weeks and back to work. I forgot again. The post that set me off reminded me, again. What forgetters humans are! Can't remember from one winter to the next how to drive in snow or on ice. Can't remember to say please and thank you to each other. Can't remember we could be dead tomorrow! That's probably just as well, but let's try to remember to act, not just talk. Spend some time with the people you love this week!

For my fun_eral (not a typo) I was going to have shirts to hand out that said, " Val died and all she left me was this Tshirt". I think I will put "Love the ones you're with!" on the back! I think it will go well with the sign on the herse that says "Just Buried" and the balloons and John Prine singing "Please don't bury me!".

So laugh a little, love a lot and count your blessings and blessed friends. I'm going home and hug on the mate, I might even call my kids, again, just to say I love them and I am proud of them. It makes me think that with the grief and sadness of every loss a little more love is sent out into the world by those left behind that were reminded. I'll forget, again. But I remember a little more often to let my people know I love them.