Too much insurance?

It's a running joke in our house that the mate is after my insurance. I don't have all that much but if he sold the house, too, it's enough for a long vacation on the bike (like 5 years) anywhere he wants to go.

For my 50th bday he gave me a lovely diamond ring with channel set stones in a white gold band. I loved these when I first saw them. They don't stick up to catch on things, no prongs to wear out, and they are multiply shiny!!

First sunny day driving home from work I noticed how nicely the sun glistened on it and made lots of colorful, twinkling lights. When I got home I walked in and said, "Ah HA! Your subtle scheme to collect the insurance is EXPOSED! Found Out! I caught you! HA!"

Looking at me in bemused innocence the mate queried, "Huh?"

"You KNOW I can't resist shiny, glittery, twinkling things! When the sun shines on my ring I MUST admire it, turn it to see how many colors it can flash at the same time, how PRETTY it is! I almost DROVE OFF THE ROAD!"

Confusion changes to understanding role in current conversation. Big, sheepish smile, "Curses! Foiled again!" He quips. "What tipped you off?"

"Before, all the shiny rocks you gave me were on chains or in containers. THIS ONE is always trying to distract me! I tricked you back, though! I turn it wrong way up when I am driving now! HA!"

Well, last night he did it again. Made a grab for the insurance, I mean.

I got home, really worn out from work and for the first time in a long time I really wanted a drink before dinner. The nice mate ran to the cabinet. "There's vodka, rum, brandy, schnapps..." He called over his shoulder, "...What's your choice?"

My choice was going to be ginger and ginger. We were out. Then second choice was fuzzy navel, also out of stock. I'm thinking and he's back holding out two bottles for me to pick from when I spot the Coffee liqueur on top of the fridge. "Black Russian!" I decide.

Now the smell of baking beef hits my nose. "Oh, that smells GOOD! What did you make for dinner, darling?" I ask as I mix my drink.

Here is where he hit me low. "barbecued meat loaf, baked potatoes, and apple pie, you pick a veggie."

I am supposed to be limiting my greasy meat intake. I do really well at it normally. Same for sauces, toppings and carbs. It sounded wonderful! There was sour cream and Cheddar cheese for dressing my potato skins and their mashed insides, barbecue sauce in the meat and ice cream to go with the pie! Then I remembered the jalapeno and cream cheese poppers in the freezer! Yum, Yum! (Must have been the booze talking)

We sat to visit about the day and watched the hummies and birds while I half my tall drink. I ran out to fill the feeders and he filled the humming bird and oriole feeders. I got about two more sips of my drink before it was time to put the poppers in and pull the pie.

"Come and get it!" He called out to me over the swift smells steaming from the open oven door.

I got through most of the potatoes, the crunchy part of the meat, (my fave) and all of my veggie along with 6 poppers before I blew up and gave the remains to my anxiously waiting dogs and one begging cat. Desert would have to wait.

I enjoyed one more chapter of my current book (2061, A. Clark) with my after dinner smoke and the rest of my drink. I managed to put my dishes in the sink and get me and all my stuff to the couch about 7 pm. I was just drifting off when #1Son called with a problem I couldn't fix unless I was in the hospital. Then I realized that with a meal that over indulging I might make it there by daylight! Rotten mate! Tricked again! He'd have all the money in about 6 weeks.

That's all I remember. No, I didn't get my bike ride in. I bitched like a sailor when the mate tried to wake me to put me to bed. I cussed people out in my drugged sleep. I said, according to the mate, "Let's all put on hockey masks and go to the office." in my sleep. I am the only one IN my office in real life.

But he loses, again. I didn't die from the wonderful but too heavy meal. I even managed to wake up and go to work on the bike today! He even offered to ride with me! I thought he just wanted to spend some time scooting with me but it may have been another attempt to get the insurance. I never know when he will strike next!