In the summer time when all the leaves and trees are green

I'm just finally getting my feet back under me. It took until Sunday for me to feel even close to functional again.

I had a nice dinner Monday with the #1Son and DIL. The grand girl was at her cutest for my visit. We had fun playing until dinner was ready. I visited the sis on Tuesday and went from there to work with MoBluz on some fine tuning of the way we are recording his stuff. It was more like school than visiting but we made good progress.

I beat feet home for Bible Study. Mom has been gone to FL for a couple weeks and we had a lot of catching up to do. She had a great time and got to visit with my other sis down there as well as her friends.

So I'm up, going back to work today and mostly better. I still have the cough and some congestion but some of that is allergies.

Ya'll have fun!

I'll catch up with you later when my chores are through

It's difficult to balance the gladness I feel against the sadness others are feeling at having another friend pass over.

It's been a day bringing me, again, an awareness of my time limits. We only get just so long here.

Grama Genevieve was the mate's (step) grandmother. She married Grampa after his first wife died. She raised two girls, was a lady all of her life. He went ahead of her years ago.

The mate and I stayed pretty close to her over the years. She was a staunch Free Methodist but still welcomed me kindly when I married her oldest grandson. She had a loving heart and caring ways toward me.

She went ahead of me yesterday. Her children and their families will miss her. Alzheimer's was a problem the last two years though and she will be glad to be done with that.

Saturday we will bury the remains. That phrase has been haunting my thoughts. The body she is done with we will tuck away. The remains of her caring love over the years will be right here, alive in each heart she touched with her life. I will carry "her remains" with me while I am here.

She gave me comfort when I was a new widow as one who knew the place I stood. She encouraged me to be caring and loving. She sent me Guide Posts. That was a good thing, to her. I even confess to enjoying most of the stories. For the twenty years I had the mate I spent at least two holidays with her a year and we always had fun visiting. I will miss her but I can't grieve her. She is back with her partner and has shed the body that no longer functioned correctly. I can only say we will miss her. She was the matriarch of that family.

I had just gotten the times and dates for that funeral when I found out I had missed knowing that my dear friend lost her father last weekend. I've been sick, I would not have been able to go anyway. But I was sorry to be unavailable to her if she needed me.

I'm sending a card with a note. It's not the same, but it's all I can do. I am still very non-functional. I am hoping to rest it out of me this weekend.

I don't want to spend the time I have here laid up. I did enough of that to suit me. But I am taking Friday and Tuesday off so I hope to be back up and jamming soon.

Doctor, doctor, give me the news

I've got a bad case of "sicker than a dog". It doesn't rhyme but it's truth. I haven't been this sick in a long time, if I don't count the heart attacks...LOL!

I made it through work Friday. I spent the weekend pretty much holed up and miserable except for a run to replace meds on Monday. I did drop some paperwork off for MoBluz, I wasn't there very long. The meds just couldn't cut it. I got home to find the power out. No surprise. It was almost dark so I took my medicine and went to bed. It came back on the next afternoon.

I needed to clean the fridge out anyway. :(

I am back at work today. No choice. But it's getting a little more under control. I'm just losing my voice again. Not really a big loss, having to be quiet and consider my words is good practice.

I may have some new readers coming through and I just wanted to say that no matter how old a post is I will be notified if you comment. Please feel free to jump in anywhere. I will reply when I can. You are welcome to poke around in here. It's public.

It is also my "home". I don't hesitate to delete if needed to keep the place clean and suitable for my family.

I got some web work done at home and when I ran for meds Monday I stopped by the hot spot and uploaded the pages. Carol is selling out her Gypsy Shires, Drum Horses, Cobs and Spotted Drafts. At 71 it's just gotten to be too much for her. If you want a beautiful, large horse, check Aldershire Farm on the side bar.

The MoBluz site got the links page updated. I will be working on the band info and members next. They have more going on all the time and it's fun to see a "launch" going well once more. It's been a long time since music was in my life everyday and it's not a bad thing to have a taste of it again. I have enjoyed it. I needed that, just to have fun in my days.

The Mom is on her way back from Florida. Looking forward to the updates. I don't expect her to make it to bible study tonight. Sis and I get one more night of our private study before having to "be good" because the mom is there again. (snicker!) Or I may call it because I'm still not good.

I got the bike back and it's been cold or I've been under the weather ever since. I'm wanting that first long day of going no particular where and enjoying the ride. As hard as it is to ride alone and to ride this bike I have learned that it's better than no bike in my life. I'm working on that, too.

So catch me later...

one is the lonliest number

sometimes. Sometimes it's the only way to go. Right now, I'm good. But there are times that having no back up around the house gets hard. Not just for me, but for all the singles I know.

Last night was Bible Study but the Mom has gone to Florida and it was just me and Sis. Shy Girl and her mate have a new one on Thursday that they can go to together so we don't see her much. Gloomy Guy has been too depressed to move much, I keep hoping he will find work, it's what he needs - to feel productive again. Jeanette is on second shift and I can't catch her hardly at all. The kids (hers) have helped me out and I have visted with them a couple times, but I don't see her very often. So, anyway, Sis and I burned dinner together and talked. We did study but it was on the verses I have been in, not our "regular chapter" the Mom is leading us through.

Mobluz's mechanic sent his car back with no fix; No parts, not meaness. I was going to call and see about taking it to my bud's place but he called me, just before we got done "studying". I arranged to borrow his car and leave my truck with him last night. I can at least let the kids look at it and give me their opinion on what is wrong with it.

I'm not braggin, just wanting to say that I recognize I am a functioning, caring human again when two years ago I was an empty body missing it's spirit with no concept of living without the one I had loved and who had loved me for so long.

Now I have seen others walking with no back up and find that it's easy for me to want to fill the gap when I can, the way I hope to have it filled for me again, someday. It's hard to manage a house, job and life with only two hands. I have the strength to reach out to others because of those who reached out to me when I was so down.

When we help each other out, we multiply the caring hearts in the world, give each other hope and divide the difficulties in half. It's not a bad way to live, caring about each other.

So many of my people, including you blogger friends ,are caring and giving people. It shows in their lives and your writing. I think I just wanted to say thank you. By sharing with me you lift my load a little. By caring about me you let me know I am not alone, just by myself right now.

You are a great bunch! From the kids (my five), the family and my friends to my virtual friends I receive an invisible but tangible support that keeps me, not just moving, but, caring about others enough to lend an hand, not just need one.

I am blessed. May all of your days be good ones!

Put another nickle in in that nickolodian

It's been another music weekend.

I hit the house fast on Friday, got what I thought I needed, that wasn't already in the magic truck, fed and watered the animals and then went up north. I followed Mobluz down to get his car to the mechanic. It was going to be gone at least one day or more. That left two families without wheels, one with the active Bitsy girl. It was no pain to "have to" spend the weekend there, just a bit of a hassle and a bit of a guilt trip. My dogs are sad when I am not there as I usually am. The lawn still isn't mowed this week. The hassle is my house getting behind and the guilt is the animals. I think I will get it and the dishes tonight, at least a little of it, caught up before bible study.

I picked up some free downloads for mixing music Friday. I took the machine and every adapter I could think of with me to Mobluz's place. After some install freak outs and experimenting I found I can record directly off his equipment through the main board.

Oh, boy! Did that set me up with projects! I'm in for it now. But so is he. The "unplugged" version of his tunes can be available anytime now.

"All" we have to do is make sure no one comes in the door while the mic's on, jury rig the jack into the computer so it CAN NOT jiggle in the slightest, set the tones and volumns on the equipment for recording, not blasting into an arena, and have him play through each song PERFECTLY to suit him, save it as a .wav file, mix it for stereo, add a little echo, add any fade in and outs, convert it to an .mp3 file and burn them, in the correct order, to my "only works sometimes" cd drive, make about ten copies for friends and family, then burn them, one at a time, print the labels, case covers and backs with the song list info all correct and set up a paypal button to sell them.

Nothing to it! uhhhh.......Wrong!! It's a huge undertaking. I'm in it for the long haul. I can't wait to put his music where you can hear it! (Note: can do my tunes up now, also. Not a bad secondary affect to all this learning!)

I recorded on the tiny mic of my computer sitting behind them as Mobluz and his friend,who needs a nic yet, played lead with him. I didn't want to have the set up in the way for their jamming. It made a surprisingly good copy. That little mic, the regular amp, speakers carrying the voice - with no "studio" at all - and some software made it at least shareable.

So stop over to MoBluz Band and check out the music page!

We crammed a lot in this weekend. Mobluz took us out to try our luck at cold weather mushrooms. We drew a blank but it was lovely in the woods and I found some leeks and showed Bitsy how to dig, clean and eat them. We hit a yard sale then got over to the Sis's place.

I had been wanting to get Bitsy girl over to see the mini horses. There was a pile of kids there, a trampoline, a brand new the night before yorkie pup, chickens with eggs to gather and such along with my family, the Mom and good food for everyone.

I got home last night after getting Mobluz back to his car and going back to visit awhile somewhere about - ohhhh...hmmm, I think it was eleven. I went home to get some sleep. I didn't. I got one of those wild hairs going and did the mixes on the recordings, burned the one CD we had to have and one we wanted to have. Designed CD covers and Case lids, printed and cut them out, got the flyers printed for us to hang about the next gig....yup, over did. It was after three when I crashed and I'm juuuuust a little silly today from lack of sleep.

gotta be more to this than being alive

Stranger than fiction. My good friend, Sunny, was over last night. We really needed that! Just time to be women of an age together and dump on each other. She's so good for my spirit!

While she was here I had explained I got (maybe) a little carried away with helping out a friend and that I wouldn't be able to the the motorcycle I had planned on (sort of) with that, so quickly gone, tax rebate. I finished up saying, "If I had gotten one it would probably rain all summer anyway!" for a comfort line.

Not fifteen minutes later the phone rang. It was my boy and he sounded sad. I asked what the problem was and he said it was the bike I gave him. I asked what was the matter with it. He explained he couldn't see getting it legal to ride maybe once a week, if he wasn't busy with cramming a life into two days home with the family. (he's a truck driver). There was added costs and lack of time and right now it didn't make sense. What did I want to do?

I said I'd be over to get it when I could and that I was proud of him. I knew how much he wanted to keep the bike. He's a Dad now. He put his own wants behind him and did what was right. The DIL wanted him to have that bike, too. She is going to be sad. But I will share with them.

I was getting off the bike because it kept making me sad to ride it. I want another one. But for now, being as I blew my bonus and don't see extra coming, if I want to ride I guess I will just have to buck up and find the love to enjoy in having the bike and not the love I miss so badly. It's an attitude ajustment I have been trying to make since day one of the mate going ahead of me.

I can sell it if I have to and then get another bike. We'll see. But last night it seemed like a wish being granted. I'm missing a bike in my life. It's part of who I like to be here.

The interview was a little unusual. I enjoyed meeting the nderf.org researchers by phone. Sunny cheered me on, refilled my coffee and laughed in the right places to let me know I was doing okay with them. They recorded, I talked. I'm looking forward to seeing what they shake out of all the words we shared. I have editing approval from them. I'm good with that.

Then Sunny offered to help with the bike insurance if I need it. So I'm off to price it now. Ya'll have a great weekend! I'm looking forward to mine. Forward. That's good.

Take it to the limit!

I was getting some supplies I needed for a project at a real store last night when I saw jeans on sale for eight dollars. I really don't like shopping. I don't like trying on clothes and I don't like buying "women's" clothes because of the lack of standard sizing. I did it anyway, I bought 'em.

I have lost a lot of weight this year. I chickened out and got the size I knew would fit. My joy today is I have to return them and get a smaller size! I was tickled. It's a drag to make another trip to town but I will have a couple new pair of jeans out of the deal.

I got the stuff to redo my business cards and some for a friend, too. That gives me a fun project for tonight. I have to hit the bank, I want to see a couple friends and then I have to get home for an (get this!) phone interview. Ain't that all jest fine?

I helped a friend learn a little more about the net last night. I was up too late but had too much fun. Now it's off to work. I just wanted to put this up for ya'll to know I was thinkin of you. I'm running in the real world so I don't know when I'll get back to this.

Hugs all!

Music, Music, Music

I've been ramming on , still, it seems. Music to learn, places to go, people to see and a surprising (to me) turn in my virtual life.

For all you Michiganders and Michigeese, there is a new band coming out!

On May 30th and 31st at "Westwood at the Crossing" That's in Belmont, near Comstock Park, near Grand Rapids. (map). There is a cover charge, I don't know what it will be yet, but the music will make it well worth the cost. The music will be beginning at 9:30

If you can make it do not miss this! The MoBluz Band featuring blues writer/singer/guitiarist Dennis Hoffman is not a flash band, they're a working band; working to keep the blues real. While they have a wider range of music, this appearance will be debuting some new original blues and they are HOT!

I have been impressed by the songs this guy has. I don't think of myself as easily impressed, musically. When the unplugged CD comes out I will post it here. These are blues from real life, not written to make a buck and they touch everyone that ever had a bad time. It's not just whining and moaning, though some do that, too; there is an element of "I'm getting back up and see ya later" defiance that puts some spunk in the tunes. Yup, I like it!

It's not like I don't know the blues, trust me, I have written some that first hard year. They probably are too raw for public use but it helped me get it out of my system. This guy is good!

I have been having some unexpected feed back from Dead is Just a Four Letter Word. It's been pretty amazing. I have two authors that want to do interviews and several people that just had to share their feelings on it. It has surprised me with the impact it is having on people.

I stopped at jam on Saturday but spent most of the day brain storming with Mobluz and hangin' with Bitsy Girl. It was a good day. Sunday was also good. I have to cut back my rammin around soon. I'm having too much fun.

I got the lawn mowed for the second time JUST before the rains came today. It looked so pretty. I got kinda bummed. It used to be a gift to me when it looked like that. Now I give it to myself. Things keep bringing me to where I see that I am not having as much fun alone as I could with a partner. I guess I keep watching for one.

The kids have mostly all been in touch and are doing well. The oldest Grand is now a legal driver. Boy, am I old. There will be a gathering at Sis's for Mom's Day with the Mom. It promises to be fun, as always with that location and group. :)

The music has been coming back to me. I am looking forward to helping with the band and maybe even getting in a lick or two. Might even get to sing some.

We crammed a lot into the bible study last night. I heart that group. Gloomy Guy didn't make it but I talked to him and he is trying to get a business going. I think it will launch for him.

Jeanette is still invisible but with the opposite shifts it's not really surprising. I miss hanging with her.

Life is not bad today.