Love

I was inspired to take a whack at this for several reasons. The 20th it has been 20 years since the mate and I re-newed our friendship. I read the fear filled gushing of a twenty something in the fever of a new love as well as the bellyaching of a married male letting his love lapse.

Love, after all this time;
We like each other.
Everytime I see the mate coming I smile, inside and out.
He whistles at me when he gets a glimpse.
When we go past each other we touch.
We never call each other bad names for pet names.
We say please and thank you.
I want him to be happy.
He wants me to be happy.
On bad days we say it's a bad day and give each other space.
On good days we are almost giddy with our love for each other.
We hold hands crossing parking lots.
We kiss goodnight even if there is no intention of sex.
Our lazy sex is more satisfying than great sex with anyone else.
We get along with our families.
I liked cats, he liked dogs, we both have one of each now.
I make the coffee every night. He takes out the trash. Why? To please each other.
We love all the kids like they were ours and take care of them the same way.
We pay the bills, split the change and then party or impulse shop.
We both have a truck, motorcycle, gun, rifle, toolbox, fishing pole, hammer, etc.
We enjoy road trips together.
Chores suck, we both do all of them sometimes.
We both have pasts with skeletons, no digging.
We trust each other.
Two computers, no waiting or fighting.
We go off with our friends without each other sometimes.
He has the bike of his dreams for his 50th year, I have diamonds.
He's funny, I think I am funny and he pretends I am.
We laugh together.
When we do fight it makes us both sick, literally. Nothing is worth ruining our bond.
We don't lie to each other except about hidden money for gifts.
We compromise, not "one person gives in all the time".
We don't get into each others space without asking - desks, boxes, wallets, are private.
He can have anything I can give him and I only have to ask for the same consideration.
Emergencies are treated as such. No debates. Full resources and support to which ever one needs it.
Stopping at yard sales is negotiated on a "per sign" basis.
Everyday we are both rushing to get home from work or where ever we have been so we can be with the partner.
I still want his child because I love him so much. He still says no, same reason. (I am considering a clone...LOL)

If you can say most of these things about your relationship you are doing just fine. If you can't, work on it. Real affection and genuine attachment are too hard to come by to just give up and start over.

If you are tense, stressed by each encounter and miserable every day, quit wasting your time. As I said to the mate one morning in my sleep, "We don't have enough time to NOT have fun!"

Getting in to this relationship was hell in a high wind, I'll tell you about it sometime. I would give up every thing to keep it alive and well.

City or Urban v. Rural

From the rural side; 10 miles from any main road:

Our Village is 4 x 5 square blocks. 2 churches, 1 elementary school that is also thelibrary, one store that is also the post office and the township fire department. We keep our doors locked on everything and I am glad to have two medium large dogs around.

We had the biggest drug bust in our county ONE block from my home. 100,000.00 cash, 2 POUNDS of coke, I forget how much weed, all in a little trailer on a dead end street. The cops hauled away a guy about 64 and his kid for B. & E, possession of stolen property over 3,000.000 and asault with intent just over 3 blocks.

The neighbor hood hoods (all four of them, all under 15) threw firecrackers at the dogs in their pen. Not just ours, but even the german shepard on a chain. I went after them for it. The parents were quite good about it. They haven't been back.

Police and Feds (store is also USPS) still haven't found the 3 guys that bashed our storekeeper lady in the head with a ball bat. They cut the wires to the phone and the ADT security system first. They got away with the whole 8,000.00. Now we have live cameras and battery back ups all over the store.

That was all last fall.....now summer is here. Oh goodie!

On the other hand, I never knew we had a dealer, he laid pretty low. The town got together to raise money for doctor bills for the storekeeper, and the kid they hauled away is back. He lives across the street. We give them garden produce and our pop bottles because they have a little girl about 18 months old and only one of them has a job. We made sure they had holiday dinners, too. He helps pick the garden and keeps the riff raff from bothering us now.

I paid under 40,000.00 for a two story, three bedroom farm house with 3 small garages and 3 lots. That's 250 ft. plus by 160 ft. of yard. I have 3 gardens of flowers and one for food (cantalopes, watermelon, ruhbarb,strawberries!). 6 laps is about a mile. We feed the birds and in return they sing all day for us. The cats sun in the driveway or on the lawn and one is going on 10 next month without having to be an indoor cat. I can walk anywhere and feel safe. I know if I am laying in the garden with a heart attack that someone will check on me, probably before I kick the berry bucket over..

When I was recovering from surgury the neighbor behind us offered the use of the pool for arobic exercise. I have the key to another neighbors house when they are gone, in case of emergency.

My ride home every day takes me down lovely 2 lane roads with small homes chopped into the edges of large farms. There are swamps with great grey herons and small ponds with sand hill cranes. Several fields with horses and ponies decorate my drive. I see deer every day.

I can ride further into the country anytime I want. If I feel the urge for a genuine gyro or some Gun Powder Green Tea I etither make a day of it in the big city or find it online.

We only have dial up because the costs are too high on satilite hook up equipment yet but it works and it's a local call. Seven miles west my WI-FI on the laptop works.

I can't afford the payments on the 3 bedroom single story on a basement with a two and a half stall garage on 40 acres with a trout creek behind it that's about a mile up the gravel from us or I'd put a bid in on it.

So I'm probably as rural as I can afford to be and I will be in this place the rest of my life. I have lived in Chicago, Denver, Columbia, MO, and been to Miami, Boca, Boston and Indianapolis.

I'm good, Thanks.

Arrrggghhha!

I blew up the office computer today. I should have shot it, instead I restored windows, used Ad Aware to get rid of the nasty someone let into it and tomorrow have to restore several programs that lost files.

The joy of computers!

blog code

My Blog Code: B2 d++ t- k s u-- f i- o++ x- e l c+

Decode it!

The Science of Love

I started a long, complicated post (the only kind I can write) about the mate and I that was going to lead up to several points about long term love.

I have been reading several blogs on dating and relationships. Some of the people are IN love and some are OUT of love, some are LOOKING for love. I get so guilty feeling because I am so happy in my love life. I want people to see it can be FUN to be committed!

I will get it and all it's relevant posts done and up soon but until then, I came across this site on a blog I lost the link for (sorry other blogger) when my computer blue screened this afternoon.

Do yourself a favor, go there and/or send the link to your home address. You can spend a lot of time taking the quizzes and reading about the hormones of love and more. I found it interesting that the scientists think that frequent sex causes certain hormones to be released that appear to be related to bonding...Translation: the more often you have sex the stronger your bond.

Huh! They get paid for that! I could have told them if they'd uh asked me!

Waiting

It's not my best thing, waiting. I can do it ok when I expect to wait and plan for it; like taking a book to the doctor's office. When I expected it by now and it's not there, well, I'm not very patient. Waiting for: the bike to be legal (today?), rear turn signals (tomorrow?) , saddle bags (small but sufficent, I hope), windshield, (ebay 2 days? If I get it.) , the mate to run for parts 170 miles round trip tomorrow."
Arrrrrrgh! I don't WANT a pickle!

(for those of you raised ignorant of Bob Dylan the next line is "just want to ride my mooooootercicile" to rhyme with pickle.)

NOT an old crippled lady

Wind in my face! Bugs in my face! No wind in my hair because it was only the second test ride on the new scoot. I wore my helmet.

Got home last night and mate had pulled the fairing off the '78 GL1000 I am going to be breaking in this season. The wiring was all ready for a new headlight, a friend was letting him have a light and turn signals today, the old seat was on it and I jumped out of the truck, ran into the house, scarfed up my jacket and gloves and was back at the bike in under a minute.

I asked him to ride a big "around the block" with me so he got the Midnight Venture out and we took off on test ride II.

The fairing was still on the bike for test ride 1 and, as always, it made the Honda feel top heavy in the corners and just plain heavy to move by my own power. It also rattled around even though he tells me the mounts were all good.I

took it very carefully down the road a mile, turned in an intersection and brought it back. I haven't ridden much the last few years and I know I am rusty. My last bike was smaller and quicker than this one, too, so I was watching for handling problems. It was just no thrill and I told the mate so.

I also told him I need to move the handle bars back, raise one road peg, move the brake pedal out further from the engine and find the wide pegs I like to put on it. Oh, yeah, and new grips, new levers - the dog leg kind.Back to the garage it went. After a day of hard work by the mate she was out again.

What a nice cruise! I feel so good on my bike. I don't feel old (old ladies don't ride motorcycles), I don't feel handicapped, (artritis begone!), and I don't feel fat (big bike reduces my size by comparison).I feel young, wild and pretty, ready to ride for the bridge and party! Where's my gutiar? I might even try singing!

And riding with my best friend is always fine. We got half way and he swapped bikes so I could try the Venture. Cushy but weird. Feet are nicely out in front, hate floorboards, heel/toe shifter messes me up, too. Gave it back to him in one piece a the next corner. Not many men will share their rides, what a man!

Got back to the house and parked it. He grabbed the hex wrench (#6mm) and the hammer. Lowered the handle bars with the former and raised the road peg with the other and we called it a night.

He grilled, I set the table and poured the milk, we ate. Another day in the rut.Tomorrow it will be 20 years since we met again, 14 years after our fatal fight in our teen years. We try to go for a ride but we can never re-create the original one. Some day I'll tell you about it.

Play game

Ok, I did it again, another dumb quiz. DC made me do it!

The terror

I have been avoiding addressing this issue for a long time. I have always been an active, capable, fully functional female. I was never a woman lib radical, I was a Val's lib radical. I figure the rest of them will find equality on their own terms but mine were a little more emphatic - I would do it, no gender bias acceptable.

I ride a motorcycle that I can repaint, do basic repairs and maintenence on, I hunt, clean my own kills and butcher them, I fish, bait my own hook and clean and cook my catch. I mow, rake, roto till, hoe, water and weed my gardens. I bake, cook, clean (as little as possible) and do laundry. I have dogs, cats, have had cows, horses and chickens. I can change out the starter on my car, change and gap the plugs and i.d. most funny noises for the repair men. I have walked miles more than most people ever will. I can face down a drunk or a biker intent on a fight, step between fighting sisters, or run off a farm dog.

Or, I could.

Now, I'm afraid to even walk to the store and back alone, much less do any of these things alone.

I might drop over dead.

I realized that since my heart attack last June I haven't done anything active by myself. If the mate or someone isn't doing it with me, I'll be here, on the computer, where it's safe.

I HATE this. My replacement hip wasn't even fully healed when I rode my Magna to Madison for a long weekend. I stayed with friends in Chicago one night, got to the event, rode back, stayed with the friends again and rode home. I got angry everytime someone said "You rode by YOURSELF?!" Of course I did! Why shouldn't I? I rode alone all over. I liked it because I could stop where I wanted, go when I was ready and rest when I felt like it without feeling like I was holding anyone up.

Now, I don't know if I can do it again. I'm afraid to weed the garden, dig the flowers, build a new flower bed, or even walk around the block alone. I want someone who can call 911 if I keel over.

Exercise? Intentionally make my heart work harder? Nope. But admit I have a problem keeping up with the mate? Nope. I hauled bushes till HE went and got the mower for towing them. Talk about conflicted and stupidity. I was melting in the heat and panting with effort. I wouldn't tell HIM that.

I am determined to get my body back. That means making the mate or someone move with me as I dig, burn, build and transplant the yard this year. All without admitting how scared I am of the nasty chest pain and breathing problems that come before you pass out during a heart attack.

It sucks. Does anyone else have this problem?

Moving Bushes

Doesn't sound like much, moving bushes...The mate and I spent 4 hours moving 4 bushes. Someone planted them about 50 years ago, the last owners of the house rented it out for a long time and no one trimmed them. By the time we moved in 2 of these ornamentals were taller than the house and the shorter ones were about 14 feet around.

We swapped our rototiller to the sis for the use of her small chain saw. The mate would whack off enough branches for a load then hook them to the lawn mower to be towed across the yard and out of the way. This was after the first half dozen trips I made dragging them. I thought I was going to blow a gasket so we switched to powered transport.

There was still plenty of bending, lifting and tossing to be done. Enough that today I remember why I like being outside - because I MOVE.

I'm a big bon fire fan but the mate suggested a chipper and I love mulching the flowers so I guess we will do that later this week.

Motorcycles and Spring 2

This afternoon when we got home from running around, there was a message on the machine from the nephew in law saying he and his wife, the neice would like to have us meet them and the nephew with the neice in law to go for a scoot with us.

We were beat but it was nice to hear the boys and girls so eager to go riding with the elderly aunt and uncle, so we pulled on our boots and leathers and took off to meet them.

The NIL is riding a Silverwing he bought from me two years ago. I like to think I understand what kids are going to try with a new bike. The day he came to look at it, I took him out for a demo ride.

I strolled it out the drive, up the gravel road for a block and the took it out on the pavement. I walked slowly through the gears and drove it 55. All the while I was explaining where the buttons were and showing him all the signals, lights and horn worked. Then I hollered "Hold on!" and stood on the brakes to show him how well it would stop. He didn't smack his helmet into my back so he must have held on pretty well.

The devil bit me and I pulled zero to sixty in about 13 seconds (or thereabouts :)) and kept going to 85 mph to show him how to wind it up through the gears. We slowed, stopped at an intersection, pulled a u turn and went back the way we came at speed. The controlled braking was demonstrated again as we came back into the village.

I figured he would ride it faster than the speed I showed him out there but it was the most I felt comfortable with, with him riding on the back. I also thought he might be able to skip making "hole shots" and jamming on the brakes to see how the bike did. I think I did ok and so did he.

He hadn't had the thing a month when he was passing someone and went into a high speed wobble that threw him and the bike in the ditch. Busted the fairing, blew a tire, etc. I was really sad for the bike and the NIL.

He has been repairing the bike ever since. It's just now running right and fresh painted. He and his girl looked just right on it and it was a joy to see it scooting down the road again.

Now, the Nephew has lusted after his mother's 750 Custom since he was old enough to say "motorcycle". She always swore she would never get off it and she would not let him ride it.

Several years back someone he was working for gave him an old 350 Honda. His dad and the uncle helped him get it running. I took him out on the long, L shaped driveway and showed him the controls, explained shifting at certain RPM's, and downshifting.

I also told him that, no matter what was going wrong, ALWAYS pull in the clutch if he panicked or didn't know what to do. Then decide what to do, brake, speed up and swerve or dive off. That would at least slow him down before he landed and keep the bike from stalling, jerking in gear or bucking him off un-prepared.

He was down the drive, u turned and back to the house in second gear on his first trip. He rode around the gravel roads out there a lot and got practice in every chance he had. An electrical problem kept him from getting the bike legal so he didn't get to do much road work with it, but he was riding.

Then it was work and girl friend for a couple years. Shortly after he married his mom got weak in the head and sold him her bike on the condition that she have a key to grab it for a scoot whenever she got the urge. He was thrilled! The bike has had more miles put on it in the last two years than it did in the first 20.

That's who called us to go for a ride tonight. I love these kids! We are so used to everyone we ride with being late that it was a rush to have them so eager to go that they were early! We were still there first but only beat them by about two miles.

We yacked in the parking lot for a few minutes and looked at the bikes. There is still some rust on the Silverwing but I know it will get fixed and the Custom needs a matching sidecover, it's wearing an unmatched one to replace one that blew away in the wind. The kids all have different styles and colors of helmets, old, new, working and non working jackets of different colors, gloves, no gloves, all different shades for their eyes and are just a motley crew to looked at.

Everyone of them was smiling and joyful to be out on the bikes and was glad to have us with them. I treasure this ride because we came by my brother's and what I think of as my dad's graves tonight. I said, "Look Dad, Aboy! They're riding!"

My grampa had a bike, my dad rode, I rode, my sisters and brother rode and now our kids are riding. Tomorrow we have the mass birthday party for their children who are all one year old sometime in the next six weeks.

If I can make it another 20 years, I might get a ride with them. If I don't I hope they ride by my grave and say hello on the first ride of spring.

Motorcycles and Spring

I remember a small girl coasting on the back platform of her tricycle while the early spring sun lit her freckles and the wind tossed her hair like a flag. Her hands were firm on the grips, one foot dropped to the ground and worked furiuosly for more speed. She scooted across the railroad tracks and up the gravel road for home.

Later came a pink bicycle and her world expanded several blocks. She worked her way up the side streets to reach the tops of the steepest hills and race the wind down. Once she fell and smashed a finger. She rode the bike home and asked for help fixing the scratches she had put in the paint. Her mom fixed her finger later.

Then her father brought home an old 125 Honda. She washed and polished it till it shined. He taught her to check the oil, the gas, the chain and the tires. He showed her the controls; clutch on the left, shift on the bottom left, front brake on the right, back brake on the lower right. The he explained how to start it.

She sat on the bike like she was afraid it would run away with her but she was determined to master her fear. She was 11 years old. She turned on the key, check the kill switch, made sure the bike was in neutral, pulled in the clutch, kicked it over. It started every time.

Kick the shift lever down one click, gave it a little gas and let out the clutch. It stalled every time.

Again and again and again, give it just a little gas and ease out the clutch. Her small hand had to work to let that clutch out just a little at a time. It slipped away from her. She started the bike again. She let the lever go too quickly, the bike jump and she almost dropped it.

The sun was getting hot. We watched and suffered with her as she struggled to get the bike rolling. After a while we winced at each jerk of the bike as the clutch slipped from her fingers. Her damp hair straggled out from under the helmet, she shoved it impatiently out of her face. Once again she pulled in the clutch, kicked the bike over, seated herself.

She stared at her left hand as if she would slap it if it failed her again. Intently she kicked the shift lever down, eased out the clutch, gave the bike a little gas and...it rolled! She rode triuphantly through the front yard and around the back yard. The smile she flashed as she came by on the second curcuit was proud.

When she made her third trip around, still in first gear, I looked at my man and smiled. His girl was up and riding! He smiled warmly back at me. He signaled her to stop. She pulled in the clutch and coasted a little before she got the brake on, but kept the bike up. He spoke to her a minute then stepped back and watched as she almost smoothly rode off to circle the house again.

I knew she would make mistakes, have her own tumbles and still, with loving support, get back on and have the joy of riding for the rest of her life. My conflicting feelings that day surprised me. Half of me had cried each time the bike died and half of me wanted her away from that thing before she hurt herself.

I wondered, as I watched her, if my Mom felt so torn when she watched me trying to ride the 90 Suzuki. I was nine and my Dad was teaching me to ride. I got around the house once and then tried to stop. I missed the big pine tree but drove into the porch steps; they went about eight feet before I found the brakes. I was so tickled that I had made the bike go that the poor stop didn't scare ME, but now I think it must have scared Mom.

I want to thank you, husband, for helping me get back into bikes. And thanks, Dad, for teaching me, I still hear you laughing as I ride. And, Mom, I'm sorry if watching me learn made you crazy but thanks for letting me ride. And thanks to you all, from the girl.

P.S. This year the girl's boy of nine was taught to ride his mini bike. Passing it on.

Puppies in Spring

This is for fellow blogger, Madzilla. Hope it helps!

You picked me! I am a puppy, I am only 6 or 8 weeks old. I have lived, with all of my mates, in the big box in the house and in the bigger box in a shed with newspapers.

This week I was showed a new door that goes outside. I like outside but I get very cold cause I am so small, so the lady gave me a blanket, all folded up thickly, to keep me warmer. In the shed (dog house with fence around it) I leave my bed area and go outside to do my business. In the big box in the house I use my papers. If it is not a box with a blanket and papers and a toy in it or a shed I do not know what it is and it will scare me. A new person, animal, room or box will all be strange to me. I HATE loud noises, too. And I never saw snow yet, neither.

I need to go out every time I wake up and every time I eat or drink. My tummy is pretty small so it fills up quickly and I need to eat 4 or 5 times a day. With drinks and naps that means I have to go out 9 or 15 times a day. I can't count so I don't know for sure.

I feel very little and scared a lot. New things make me nervous. If you talk quietly to me and pet me I will feel a little braver soon and try new things later. If you holler at me I will be so scared I might never try again. But wait till I get BIGGER, then I will be brave!

I will be lonely as I had lots brothers and sisters all the time. I have never been alone - ever! If you have lots of room please get one of my brothers or sisters, two of us play together and entertain each other when you aren't home and we comfort each other in a sleeping box. If you can't, it will be ok but I will be sad and probably cry when I feel lonely.

When I wake up from a nap TAKE ME OUTSIDE! I have to GO!!! Tell me to "do your business" and when I am done tell me "good puppy" every time. Soon you can take me out and say "do your business" and I will know what you want me to do.

I like evaporated milk mixed with warm water on my crunchies for breakfast. As soon as I stop eating TAKE ME OUTSIDE! I have to GO!!! I will sniff around a little, do my business and then it's PLAYTIME! After playtime I nap and work on my growing. When I wake up TAKE ME OUTSIDE! I have to GO!!!

If you have to leave me home alone I would like a bowl of crunchies and a bowl of water, my blanket, some papers ( if I am inside in a box or small room) and some toys. I like bones, chewie toys, old mocasins and stuffed toys ( but not the kind with button eyes, I might swallow the buttons.) I also like a braided nylon knotted on both ends to flip around and chew on. When you get home TAKE ME OUTSIDE! I have to GO!!!

I like evaporated milk mixed with warm water on my crunchies for again for supper. As soon as I stop eating TAKE ME OUTSIDE! I have to GO!!! Then PLAYTIME AGAIN! This is my favorite time, all my people are home to play with me. Keep an eye on me. I am just little and don't know how to say I need out to go. If I start sniffing the floor too much TAKE ME OUTSIDE! I have to GO!!!

If I make a mistake and go on the floor, show it to me and say in the very grumpy voice, WRONG! You don't have to rub my nose in it, I can smell 100 times better than you and know it's a boo boo I made by scent. Then take me outside and talk nicely to me, say good dog to do business outside.

I also don't know any of the smells here or places to hide or play in. I will find them - and your shoes and books if you leave them on the floor. Because I am paper trained leaving books or magazines where I can find them is NOT a good idea.

I am a little dog, I have to chew to keep my teeth clean and because I like it. If I have something you don't want me to have take it away and say NOT YOURS! in a grumpy voice. Then give me my own toy and says "THIS is YOURS, good puppy" in a happy voice. Some day you will say NOT YOURS! and I will drop what I have!

Just before bed I get just a little bowl of evaporated milk with a beaten egg and warm water for a bed time treat. That makes me full so when I stop eating TAKE ME OUTSIDE! I have to GO!!! Then I play a little more with my toys and by 10:00 I should be asleep.

Put me in a pet cage or small box with tall sides by your bed. The lady will send my bed blanket with me when I go home with you. If she doesn't mention it, ask for a small piece to be cut from whatever bedding I was using. You can reach down and pet me so I know I am not really alone, you just don't fit in the box to sleep with me. If you pet me and talk quietly to me I will fall asleep eventually. You could give me a stuffed toy to keep me company, the lady says that might help some. I want to cuddle up to something.

I don't want to do my business where I sleep so I will wake you up by my crying if I have to go. Please, WAKE UP, take me OUT! It will be cold and dark and I will usually do my business pretty quickly.

I want you to like me. I want to be your friend. Teach me good manners and keep me out of trouble and we will both grow to be good friends for many years. You can find out more about puppies at the library.

Life Math

I knew my kids would party, drink, do drugs, and have sex but I tried to teach them to do it safely as possible. I told them that at any party always have one designated sober/straight to deal with unexpected emergencies. Bumps, cuts, fights, candles catching the house on fire, cops coming because you get too noisy, driving home or tucking in people that can't drive...you need someone to keep an eye on everything.

For the rest of growing up I tried to teach my children to use good judgement. Not always having the best judgement myself, I found it difficult to explain how to make the right decision for yourself by yourself.

I finally came up with one question that pretty much covers any situation. "Is this going to be fun later?"

I told them to be honest with themselves. Lying to anyone else is your decision to make, lying to yourself will always hurt you.

Try to think of everything that could go wrong, go right or result from their chosen action and THEN make their decisions using compromises. This still isn't a cure all for mistakes by teens because they really cannot see all future possibilities, but it works good enough to keep them out of serious trouble if they really try to use it.

Some examples:

Supposed to be doing homework, friend calls and wants you to go hang out. "ITGTBFL?"

Doing homework or not-
If I don't turn in my homework my grade will go down.
I need to get at least "C's" to take driver ed this year.
I won't get to take driver's ed.

Telling a friend no -
I don't want to tell friend no, hurt feelings, not cool...
Won't have pals to hang with.
Life ruined.

Compromise! Finish homework, then go hang. Answer to friend - I'll be there in about an hour. Results- still good grades for driver's ed. Friend not upset with me. Ta Da!

Conflict - Come on baby, you'd do it if you loved me.

Do it - Good
Show true love
Keep boy/girl friend
Find out what it's all about

Do it- Bad
Life math: 1+1=3, 9 months later=baby
Get a sexually transmitted disease (STD): AIDS, HIV, Herpes (no cure), or Gonorrhea, crabs, lice (treatable), that really mess sex for you for a while or the rest of your life. ICK!
Partner tells someone, rep is changed to easy lay
You tell someone, rep is changed to easy lay
Someone that knows says they will tell parents if you don't ---- for them.
We get caught! Parents angry, grounding. Worse case - by cops and they call parents.

Compromise: I love you. I want to do this but I am afraid. I want us both to be safe when we do this.

For safer sex: You both go to donate blood or see Dr. at clinic to get clean bill of health (or not).
Female has to get birth control, pills, foam or gel, whatever, to avoid birth of child named Broken Rubber.
Male has to have condom.

Then, if you still want to do this, do it only with both people certified disease free, using condom and female birth control. Note: You CAN get STD's from oral sex.

Conflict - I want to stop at the bar and drink with my friends every night.

Good
I get to relax after work before going home.
I get to see friends.
I get to have a brew.

Bad
This costs a lot of money
Mate is waiting at home alone
Mate probably not happy about this
Bills not getting paid right

Compromise: One night a week stop at bar. Other nights have brew at home with mate and invite friends over to join us. Still get to relax after work. Mate happy. Spending less money. Still keeping up with pals. Yes!

Yes, we all blow the math sometimes and do it NOW because it feels right. That's life. I have learned that thinking ahead, just a little bit, can save you a lot of grief later.

If you are going to make adult decisions you have to pay adult consequences. Sex makes babies, drugs use you, too much of anything can be bad for you. Even crimes you don't get caught for don't pay, they haunt you forever.

So, there it is.

For what it's worth, none of our children are in jail, have any STD's, are addicted to drugs or drinking, all are working, living their own lives, paying their own way and all still love us. They can all party hearty! We are both step parents to some of these kids and they love the steps, too. It could be worse.

Spring in Tiny Town

It's Spring!

Around here most people watch for the first robin returning. I, myself, think the first dead skunk in the road is a more accurate sign. The real first sign of spring in our home is selling an old vehicle or buying another one. Note that I did not say buying a NEW one. We both prefer older vehicles and I will buy a "beater", then drive it till the doors fall off, rather than get a new car or truck. I probably haven't spent as much on all the cars and motorcycles I have had in my life as some people do getting ONE new car or truck.

The mate and I were out driving last Saturday, on the way to get supplies, when the mate spotted a little, red Chevy Tracker. It went right over my head that he might be interested in owning it...he LOVED the huge Dodge Ram he was driving. We didn't pay much for it and it ran great with on the fly four wheel drive. It also sucked down gas like an inside-out Artiesian.

When he stopped on the way back I was a little surprised as I thought that HE thought that I might like the tiny thing. I was just starting to tell him I wasn't interested in getting rid of my Chevy S10 pick up when he jumped out of Big Red and ran over to look inside the itty bitty red four wheel drive truck.

Well, hmmm! I got out and he told me that he was very interested. I walked up the long, muddy drive to see if someone was home. I eventually raised the people who owned it from their afternoon naps and got them to find the key to let us test drive it.

We were only half a mile from home. The mate took off for the house as all the tires were soft. The handy air compressor in the garage took care of that. He came back and said he wanted it.

Having known him a long time now, I had already dickered them down 200.00 and was ready to whip out the cash when he drove in - except they couldn't find the title! We shook hands all around and agreed it was sold. They would get a replacement title on Monday.

Until we sold the truck we were a little strapped so I decided to take my bike ('82 V-45 Honda Magna) out to a friend's place that is on a main road and sell it to defray the cost of the new itty red truck. It sold. I still have the '79 GL1000 Goldwing in the garage that Mate is fixing up for me, so I am not "bikeless" Big Red is parked out there, too. When it sells we will just better than break even. The gas we will save will square things up, in about 6 months, for the new tires he put on it.

So, now he has the itty red truck that will seat 4 (if two of them are under 4' tall) and I have the S10 so we can still haul stuff, like broken down bikes.

The robins were one week earlier than the truck, 3 weeks behind the first skunk and 2 weeks behind the red winged black birds. But it is spring at our house now, first vehicle of the year.