Love

I was inspired to take a whack at this for several reasons. The 20th it has been 20 years since the mate and I re-newed our friendship. I read the fear filled gushing of a twenty something in the fever of a new love as well as the bellyaching of a married male letting his love lapse.

Love, after all this time;
We like each other.
Everytime I see the mate coming I smile, inside and out.
He whistles at me when he gets a glimpse.
When we go past each other we touch.
We never call each other bad names for pet names.
We say please and thank you.
I want him to be happy.
He wants me to be happy.
On bad days we say it's a bad day and give each other space.
On good days we are almost giddy with our love for each other.
We hold hands crossing parking lots.
We kiss goodnight even if there is no intention of sex.
Our lazy sex is more satisfying than great sex with anyone else.
We get along with our families.
I liked cats, he liked dogs, we both have one of each now.
I make the coffee every night. He takes out the trash. Why? To please each other.
We love all the kids like they were ours and take care of them the same way.
We pay the bills, split the change and then party or impulse shop.
We both have a truck, motorcycle, gun, rifle, toolbox, fishing pole, hammer, etc.
We enjoy road trips together.
Chores suck, we both do all of them sometimes.
We both have pasts with skeletons, no digging.
We trust each other.
Two computers, no waiting or fighting.
We go off with our friends without each other sometimes.
He has the bike of his dreams for his 50th year, I have diamonds.
He's funny, I think I am funny and he pretends I am.
We laugh together.
When we do fight it makes us both sick, literally. Nothing is worth ruining our bond.
We don't lie to each other except about hidden money for gifts.
We compromise, not "one person gives in all the time".
We don't get into each others space without asking - desks, boxes, wallets, are private.
He can have anything I can give him and I only have to ask for the same consideration.
Emergencies are treated as such. No debates. Full resources and support to which ever one needs it.
Stopping at yard sales is negotiated on a "per sign" basis.
Everyday we are both rushing to get home from work or where ever we have been so we can be with the partner.
I still want his child because I love him so much. He still says no, same reason. (I am considering a clone...LOL)

If you can say most of these things about your relationship you are doing just fine. If you can't, work on it. Real affection and genuine attachment are too hard to come by to just give up and start over.

If you are tense, stressed by each encounter and miserable every day, quit wasting your time. As I said to the mate one morning in my sleep, "We don't have enough time to NOT have fun!"

Getting in to this relationship was hell in a high wind, I'll tell you about it sometime. I would give up every thing to keep it alive and well.