I don't know why I love you like I do

This is for my friend at "As I See it", I thought it would bring her a smile.

I am always saying "But -God! like - you can't mean me to do THAT!

so today I searched "but God"

I weeded a few that were too situation specific and this is the rest.

Genesis 31:7 but God did not allow him to hurt me.

Genesis 45:8 So now it was not you who sent me here, but God;

Genesis 48:21 but God will be with you

Genesis 50:20 but God meant it for good

Genesis 50:24 But God will surely visit you

Exodus 13:18 But God led the people around by way of the wilderness

Job 5:15 But God saves [the fatherless] from the sword of their mouth,

Job 34:5 but God has taken away my right;

Psalm 49:15 But God will redeem me

Psalm 64:7 But God will shoot an unexpected arrow at them

Psalm 68:21 But God will shatter the heads of His enemies

Psalm 73:26 but God is the Rock and firm Strength of my heart and my Portion forever.

Psalm 75:7 But God is the Judge! He puts down one and lifts up another.

Psalm 78:52 But [God] led His own people forth like sheep and guided them [with a shepherd's care] like a flock in the wilderness.

Ecclesiastes 3:11 but God alone can satisfy,

Isaiah 17:13 -but [God] will rebuke them

Luke 5:21 Who can forgive sins but God alone?

Luke 16:15 but God knows your hearts.

Acts 2:24 But God raised Him up

Acts 7:9 but God was with him,

Acts 10:28 but God has shown and taught me by words that I should not call any human being common or unhallowed or [ceremonially] unclean.

Romans 5:8 But God shows and clearly proves His love for us by the fact that while we were still sinners, Christ (the Messiah, the Anointed One) died* for us. (*lives I say)

1 Corinthians 3:6 but God all the while was making it grow and He gave the increase.

1 Corinthians 7:15 But God has called us to peace.

1 Corinthians 10:13 But God is faithful [to His Word and to His compassionate nature], and He [can be trusted]

1 Corinthians 15:38 But God gives to it the body that He plans and sees fit

2 Corinthians 7:6 But God, Who comforts and encourages and refreshes and cheers the depressed and the sinking,

Ephesians 2:4 But God--so rich is He in His mercy! Because of and in order to satisfy the great and wonderful and intense love with which He loved us

Philippians 2:27 But God had compassion on him

1 Thessalonians 4:8 but God, Whose very Spirit that He gives to you is holy (chaste, pure).

There you go friend, "but" that....LOL!

Take me in your arms and hold me

like I've been holding you in my dreams.....

Did you ever go to bed with your partner and have a really bad dream? The kind where you are struggling to breathe and can't run and can't beat off the monsters?

Did you ever get woken up by a man in pain from where you have kicked him and hit him and driven him from the bed? Did you leave bruises on his innocent body?

You are crying and he is hurt and hollering. You were only dreaming but you really hurt the one you cared about most. And you thought you were going to die in the dream, you wanted to hurt the monsters.

Does he forgive you and comfort you or does he take his blanket and go sleep on the couch in a huff leaving you to work out your fear alone?

It depends on the man and his love for you.

It feels like I just woke up from one bad dream and fell back asleep into another one then woke up flailing at monsters again.

There is no one here but me.

It was only a dream.

I won't go hunting with you Jake but I'll go chasin wimin

I think this journal is on hold. I am down to mowing the lawn today until I am out of gas and then going to work with the kids on their guitars at Mom's church tonight. It just doesn't seem very exciting.

There is still a lot of thrill watching the blessings come to Jeanette for her home. I see them all around me and take joy in my days of green trees and sunshine. Life is good and the kids are all doing well and the house is good and even the money is ok for now. I feel glad that I can have time with the family and friends that I will have this week.

My heart is dealing with no one to ride with and nobody to go out and fish or swim with still. I find that I have let the mate go his way but the hole of companionship gapes beside me as I go through my days. I want another partner but fear of getting the wrong one keeps me from trying to meet anyone. I go places and do things with others but don't reach out to get to know them better than just at what we are doing.

I can't see that my seeking a companion is anything you will wait with eager eyes to read each day. Pretty much if you don't have a friend to spend your days with you search for one. It's life. We are meant to be drawn together in couples, families, groups, teams and we all seek that.

I am trying to get my experience with death written more fully and shared. I think that I can stand here and say "you don't die" can comfort others here. It's really all the New Testament is about, I just got to experience it myself. It's taking time and thought from the blog.

I hate to think of losing you all but I can't see that I am going to be able to keep this up and have a life outside - like mowing the yard.

I will be about and posting sometimes. I will read when I can of your lives that have become dear to me, even Grampa Anvil's Smuge blog! (Ha, Anvil!). I don't watch TV and always thought soaps were for those with no mind but you have become my little soaps and I won't stop checking in with you.

I just have to see that I am not racing to the machine to share things with you right now and I feel like it's not fair to only post boring crap. I think I will be back in the bad weather of the seasons. It's just to nice out to stay inside and online.

Hugs to you all - enjoy your day.

Lookin out my back door

I have a few errands to run today but I really don't have anything earth shattering on the agenda today. I think I would like the gas for the yard so I can finish mowing and then maybe work in the gardens a little until the rain comes again.

I slept late. That wasn't on the list. I was up late writing. I haven't stopped smoking and have given up quitting for now. It's too much failure too long in a row and I am tired of beating me up.

The yard looks huge and in dire need of attention. I will get after it but I am missing my helping hands from last year badly. And the ones from before then, too. It's just not fun with no one to share with.

Now I even bored myself.

I just got nothing for ya here, folks.