In dreams you can lose your heartache

whatever you wish for you keep...I always loved that song.

Seems like a lot of my life would be more fun if I could live it in dreams. I dreamed that I went to a new home. I walked through it, it seemed like a normal "modular", fairly new. Carpet in the living room was almost like the one I have now but in one corner it seemed to go on forever. There was furniture in part of the room but that one corner, to my left as I faced the room, and ahead of me, was empty and just kept stretching out into the distance. I wondered what was over there. I didn't go and find out. It felt "bad".

That wasn't the weird part though. What was strange was that I was there with the mate and I was not all "wow, here you are again"! It was like we hadn't missed a day together and I took him for granted like we do in real life; Like he was in my dream with me.

I got the feeling it was a place he built to make me happy and he was glad to have me there with him, hoping I would like it. I did, of course. We know each other too well to fail the "build the right nest" thing. I could do a place for him and know he would like it.

This one was empty of the personal touches that make it a particular person's home. Like he left it for me to do for us.

I woke up talking to him and myself again. It's weird. Why talk in your sleep when no one can hear you? But I do, still. It used to amuse him.

I went out the front door to look at the yard with him, but woke up, I think, just still going over what it needed if it was ours.

He was gone again. But my heart didn't hurt, like it would have before. I was just comforted that he had been there with me in a way that felt like "everyday", instead of desperate for contact. I think it means I'm healing more deeply now.

so if I get to keep the dream wish, it's that we will be okay when I get there. Not that I can't love on here and build a new bond with another, just that THAT bond is okay, no matter what.

I think I needed that. It was comforting.

No matter how your heart is bleeding, if you keep on believing, the dream that you wish will come true.

And now I'm wanting to sell the house. It's overdue. I have had several "almost" deals but the correct one hasn't come through yet. And I want a little house in the big woods. How I'm supposed to get high speed internet and a deeply rural location I don't know....it's part of my contrary nature, I guess.

But the little place I saw was good by me. I'm looking for a direction. I can go anywhere and do whatever I can find to do for income....I just need out from under my house. It's too big and too much yard for me now. I don't want to spend my time doing chores so I need less to care for.

Any of you that pray in any way please add my cousin Reb to the list. She is dealing with serious health issues. Thanks.

My step mother died last week. She was in Florida where I couldn't get to see her before she left. It's sad that we didn't get to see each other when she was up - too much on her schedule. I got to see my sis from down south though and that was fun. She went to FL and got to see our other sis there, too. I hope they had a good time.

I gotta run now, doing some email work for a friend.

Later!