Come along if you dare

It just keeps getting stranger here. First I am early then I am late. Then I have somewhere to go but someone is waiting to talk at home. The dog runs away and comes back while I'm gone and gets let in while the good dog in the pen has stayed out.

Does that all sound disjointed and crazy? Good, I got my point across. It just busted loose over here again and I just can't get caught up with all that is calling at my heart that needs attending to. I feel like I fell in the rabbit hole and only met the catipillar. It wasn't what I expected to find.

I am dealing with death and life and love again. One of the few best friends of my mate has left a widow and family in grief. I have stood there and still don't know exactly the right thing to do. I do what feels right to me.

I see others that seem to capture the essence of right and I feel so clumbsy and rough. Still, it is the way he made me. I pray for strenght enough to do what is needed for my friends, so many of them hurt! I can't get to each of them but I want to so badly it hurts my heart not to just go be with them, even if only for a moment.

There is a need in myself, too. For one to share the grief with me in losing a friend I loved.

Love shared is always multipied, trouble shared is always divided. I feel my shoulders aching tonight with on one to split the load. I take it and leave it where I know it belongs but the body here dreams of a hand to reach out to, not just to offer comfort but to recieve some.

Selfish need in me, I know. But there it is, I'm human. There are a few I won't need to comfort - those spirits that were there to greet him are at peace with his change of address.

I walk with those left behind. I walk with my friend who knows I care, the woman who lost her man.

I walk with those I love in life and know I can count on them to hold me up through yet another change in life around here.

It is all just a little crazy right now. One to cheer, one to find a room for, one to cry for and one I wish were closer. All of them to love as they are brought into my circle.

I think I just need a hug.

For all the real life friends reading, Big Ron went down on Saturday. Call me if you need details.