Slip sliding away

Checking the next day I saw there is a wrinkle in the road there. You don't notice one small bump on our roads, they are full of bumps and potholes. You get used to them being there.

What had changed was the conditions I was driving in. Same road for nine and a half years, no problem there before. The bump must have grown a little at a time and now the road was all ice.
You couldn't really see the bump under the ice - but it was there. An every day tiny bounce to the truck that had become unnoticed by it's repetition. It didn't register as a possible danger, just another bump in the road.

Under that ice, unseen and unexpected, it can launch you even as small as it is, into a flying dance. Now I know it is there I am careful how I hit it when it is icy.

I didn't see it as a problem worth filing in my head that the bump on the flat stretch was bouncing me more as I passed it each day. I never even noticed it until it threw me for a loop.

I think little things in every day life are like that, too. You don't really even notice the little bumps until they get so big they end up sending you off the road.

We do better not to ignore them thinking they will change or go away. The trick is to see them before they ice over and become a serious problem.

I can't help it if am annoying or angering someone if I don't know what I do is bothering them.

"I can't fix it if I don't know it's broke."

People tell us things they think are true and if we act on their words, believing them, we find we have made mistakes sometimes. Not because we acted wrongly intentionally but because we didn't know the truth. We can only act on what we think we know, like I thought I knew my road was smooth.

When someone you respect and trust tells you something you tend to believe them. Sometimes what they have told you is wrong but you may have acted as if it were truth. This can cause problems in life, too.

All you can do when people go away without saying what you did to is wonder why they are not your friend any more and go on without them.

You may do the same things to the next one you meet. Maybe the things you do will be accepted by them. Maybe not. Maybe the next one will tell you what you do that annoys them and you can learn to do better. Maybe not.

But you never get a chance to change unless someone is honest enough with you to say there is a problem. You can't help a friend if you are not as honest as you can be with them.

Are you really a friend if you are not completely honest? Yes, I think so. Humans aren't always honest, even with themselves. Trying to walk with no dishonesty in your life is hard. Expecting others to do what you can't is not loving and understanding. It is holding others to a standard you can't meet yourself. There is no mercy in that.

Can't an apology be accepted in truth and doesn't the healing begin with wanting it to be healed between you? I think trust can mend and grow. Why should we lose a friend because they prove they're human? That is when we learn to forgive and our understanding grows.

By watching for the little bumps and bringing them to each other we keep the ice from growing over them and throwing us in a ditch we can't get out of with a tow from a friend.