Lead me home

Friday, when Best Girl and Grand2 came over, Buck did not even leave his house to greet them. She had to go in and help him off his couch, his legs were not working well and he looked pitiful. After they were inside she could not get him to eat or drink.

I came home, got the report, looked at the dog, looked at the work needing done and left the girl and grand there while I took Buck to the vet for the last time. I had to keep a hand on him for the curves and corners to keep him on the seat again. I told him I knew he was old and tired and I would make sure he didn't have to do winter ever again.

I know I said I do the meds again but the poor dog looked so miserable and then the doc told me it appeared to be liver disease and would not get better or be cured. I had to think hard. Pills could hold him here but he would not be himself on steroids all the time. I weighed him and he was two pounds lighter than the first time ten days ago - even though we had fed him every thing he asked for and more and thought we were getting weight back on him. I had an internal debate with the mate, who I know misses us still and I made my decision.

The doc gave Buck a sleeping dose and it knocked him out quickly. I got down, right in his face after I got his head out of my arm pit, where he always hid from the doc. I talked to him like it was our normal bedtime and the mate was there. I reminded him Dadguy always said goodnight Bucky, I love you and that I would say the same and then we would tell each other we love you and I would say sweet dreams and by the time I got to sweet dreams he was just barely breathing even though the med was just a sleeping dose. I left him there and sent him to be cremated, like his "owner" wished.

I drove home and Shadow was upset that Buck was not with me but I could only tell her, you're the guard dog now, girl. Best Girl and I were whipped. I decided we would make a run to town, pick up some stuff at the store, eat out and then pick up my truck from the repair shop two towns over. She was up for that so we jumped in little red and went.

We talked about Buck being with the mate and how happy they would be to be together again. I was glad the mate had a friend to share the wait with now. Then we got talking about all our animals from the last twenty years and decided the mate had his own animal house up there. He has all his childhood pets, the dog he owned when we first met, his first kitten he brought home to our new place, there are so many, I won't list them all. It amused us and comforted us.

At home again we put away our purchases, got a little painting and spackling done and called it a night. She took the love seat because she crashed watching a movie and I went to bed.

Saturday I had to call around and tell the kids that Buck was dead. The Mom, The Kid and his kid with his wife and three kids showed up. Best Girl and I took a break to visit. I thought The Kid was just here to check out the floors he would be installing for me...nope! Right in the room we were painting in they started tearing up linolinium and such. They got two rooms mostly done before they left. I have to empty my bedroom before they can take the carpet out of there today. And hang wall paper. And paint a door or two. or three. So I will be busy.

I just wanted to say I miss my mate's good dog. He did all his tricks to hand signals I taught him. He came when he was called. He greeted me cheerfully every sad time I came home to no mate - even though he knew pets were few and far between. He loved the kids and the grands and the Mom and the Sis and my friends and never harmed any child or animal. The last thing I said to him was that he was the very best dog the mate ever had, he was my very good dog and he would be with the Dadguy in a few minutes, sweet dreams Bucky.

I am very sad today but I have to get over it because the flooring and last of the furniture comes tomorrow morning. So I am stuffing my tears away with the rest of the tears I don't shed for the mate and getting back to work. Pet your animal friends for me today. I am going to go brush Shadow before I brush on anymore paint.