Anytime, you're feeling lonely

to thank your luck stars you aren't fighting or feuding with anyone...at least, that's what I try to remember. There are worse things than lonely.

I'm not dead yet. I wasn't taking bets on it, however. I have been in for my heart twice in less than four months. I still don't think it was done correctly the first time, but it seems to be mostly better now...

I had a run in with a doctor who believed the correct place to vocally accuse me of being in again because of my own negligence was while I lay on his table, directly after my surgury. I am not happy about it. Not only is his timing abominable, his manner angry and accusing, but he had his facts wrong and he owes me a BIG apology....

Dr. Fritz, a cardiologist who works out of Butterworth or Spectrum Health in Grand Rapids was rude, not just to me, when I was almost completely defenseless, but he went on to be abusive and rude to my sister, who had done nothing but the best she could for me for months now. So, yes, his name is here to be Googled.

I was told that it was my own fault that I was back so soon because I would not take my medications.

Now the doctor at the last hospital gave me coupons for my meds, knowing I had no income. The problem was that - and I'm guessing it was because of the coupons - that he had to re-issue the prescription when it ran out after 30 day.

Three pharmacies in two states and myself called that man's number and could not get him to take the time to renew the prescription. That is why I could not get my meds.

Even if I had gotten Medicaid (and because I am NOT an immigrant in Michigan I can not get Medicaid, there is a freeze on it unless you qualify as disabled...which I haven't, yet. Yes, they TOLD me if I was an immigrant I could have gotten it. Talk it over with your Representatives...) if he would not call and renew the script, I could get no medication.

We all tried. It was not my fault he did not fulfill his part. Having Dr. Fritz, chose to verbally assault me with incorrect information did NOT make me happy. It made me less happy that he would not listen to my explanation - or my sister's explanation, which was the same as mine.

And really, even if you have to work on someone you believe is not taking care of themselves properly, is directly after the procedure, before they are allowed time in the recovery room the place to discuss it?

Uh....NO!

But at least his skill level seems to be superior to that of the previous doctor. While I am very tired very often right now, I hadn't slept well for weeks before the procedure...I'll get caught up with myself eventually and start feeling like moving around and singing again.

I can't say enough how much my family and friends did to get me through this. I know they think NOT being there, for some of them, was rough, but it was what I needed at the time - just space to be tired and worn without worrying how I worried them....

I had transportation, food, phone calls, yard work and almost everything, right down to house chores covered the last few weeks - and I know they all love me.

I love them, too. The ones that were around and the ones that couldn't be around or that I asked to just pray and let me rest....

But I am very upset about Dr. Fritz's manner toward myself and my sister. All he had to do was call the pharmacies to check my story...and he did not. He lambasted me in front of his staff and then did the same to my sister.

I have waited to address this to cool off and consider if I was over -reacting...and I don't think so. In my opinion it was unprofessional, rude and callous. And to get after a relative for another persons faults (if it HAD been my fault) is inexcusable....so I'm going to be making some calls...

I have a follow up apt. tomorrow, NOT with him. After I'm home I will address this issue.

And thanks to all of you that have sent your good wishes and prayers to me. I really appreciate the smiles you've shared....

Keep enjoying today - it really may be all you have...