Know when to hold em

Monday night my Mom and newest foster brother came over after work. I was fixing up a computer for him and she came along for the visit. I spent a lot of time cleaning up the drive while they were there.

He wanted me to play cards with him but I wanted him to have the machine for him and his daughter. So it would be fun later for me I asked him to let the card game go until I could finish what I was doing. I got it done and it's his now. I felt good giving it.

The quandary of finishing another time and making him wait for the machine or the card game had bothered me. I called it the way I saw it. With a computer he and the daughter can send emails to stay in touch. The card game was to distract him from his thoughts. Mom and I could talk while I worked. I asked him wait for the card game...

Then he whupped my butt at cribbage. That was fun for him. I had the fun of giving a gift of time and caring, he had the fun of winning, fair and square. We all got what we needed, we just had to accommodate each other on the timing.

That's what friends do for each other; Work it out together so all get what they need. No stress, no fuss, no anger, just a discussion on the timing and the resources available, no harm to any heart. He waited for the card came, we are teaching Mom, she waited for the lesson, I got my "chore" done. I waited for my fun. In between we all got to talk with each other. We all had fun.

Tuesday night I headed home for bible study and we had one of those nights that seems all messed up. There were only three of us, Mom, Sis and me. Mom thought it was her night to cook, so did Is. There was food enough for twenty and no one came that needed it. We shared it out after to give away or use ourselves. Waste is bad, in our view.

The "study" was a little more fellowship and teaching and encouraging than reading. It gave me heart and joy to see again that suffering through a wrong against you can be made right in Him.

I think I want to share a bit of it. My Sis is dyslexic. In school she was labeled stupid and treated cruelly by a teacher. Back then they didn't know the word that meant your mind saw letters and numbers wrong. That teacher called her stupid in front of her classmates, often.

Then came math. And multiplication. The numbers never looked the same as they do to us. She could not learn the problems, they made no sense to her.

She went on to be a teacher in a parochial school. She had had such a problem learning that she was very gentle with the teaching. When it came time for multiplication she taught it to them the way that she had figured out for herself.

About thirty children learned an easy way to do "the times table" that leaves only 13 hard problems that have to be memorized. When you can knock a hundred problems down to only 13 you have done a good thing. I pointed out to her last night, as we went over it again, that if she had not been just what she is she would not have seen her solution.

Those thirty children are grown and teaching their children - with JOY! - that multiplying isn't hard anymore. And all the others we have helped with her way of seeing it will go on to show others. It will change the way math is for so many, all because the numbers looked wrong to her.

Once again I got to see that what may be a bad time in your life can be turned to a good time for others down the road a piece. One of the gifts of getting old is being able to see that the small difference you thought you made for yourself has become a big difference for others.

We were going over this for a friend of mine who needed math help. I wanted more than the "9's trick" to give her and couldn't remember it all. So another will be helped, too, because my sister had a crap time learning to read and do math in school.

She knows she is not stupid now, but we have our doubts about a teacher who could not see the willing intelligence behind the inability to see words and numbers as she did. Bless her heart. Even her meaness has been a blessing in the long run. I know Sis forgives her, I do too, and that is hard for me to do with anyone who messes with my sisters!

Then Wednesday was back. For me that is set aside for a night of study and prayer. I would like to do it with others. I haven't been led to them yet. I do it alone. I had thoughts about the day at work, five hang up calls that day. I always wonder who it is and why they are so present somedays and not others. We have an antique phone system that won't let us *69.

One or two I get from the computers that check to see if I'm answering the phone. That doesn't bother me. The ones where someone waits just long enough to hear my voice and then, with a slight pause, hang up - those intrigue me. Is it someone wanting to know I'm ok or someone that wants to talk to me but can't get the words out? I add them to the Wednesday list and hope someday I will find out.

After the "non meeting" I called my friend in the south of the state. She and I try to do that weekly. We both live alone and get lonely for some one to talk to of an evening. We don't always agree on things but we have lively conversations. It was fun. I was tired and went to bed early.

Every other Thursday is payday. I get out a little early and hit the bank. While I am in town I visit friends or meet them for coffee at the pub where I have friends workng. It can be a small but fun party. Tonight I have a stop to make and then may call a friend or two and see if they want to do coffee. Hard to say what happens until I actually get there. The Thursday it isn't payday I may go to the jam in Big City and play. That is fun, when I get there. Gas has been tight enough I have been skipping it.

Friday is the short day at work. I usually get out around two. I haven't gotten 40 hours in a single week this year. The budget has been tight at work and at home. I'm getting by okay, but I mentioned a raise to the boss again. He's having a little stress with a big project coming up. But at least we are working still and it looks like we are going to be for awhile yet.

On Friday's I visit with family and friends in the Big City near by before I get my groceries and head for home again. I do laundry and put stuff away, then, if I feel like it, I can go out. But I have opted to stay home this winter alot. The budget is thin for entertainment. I read or write or whatever and don't have to worry about getting stuck in the snow.

Then I am back to Saturday and my treasured friends at jam session. I love to go to this. I have made it every other week and the odd week I try to have friends over or go visit.

Sunday is for study and prayer. I have been waiting to follow along to church. So far, no one is leading. I learn in my heart and hope to find the perfect place for me to be, soon. Til then I wait.

The rest of the day is family. I call or visit them or they may come see me. I get my stuff around for work the next day and get to bed a little early.

It's just a little life in a little village but it's peaceful and love filled. I have most of what I think I need and enough over to share with those that need it.

How nice.

AAARRRRGGHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!

I think I'm about due for a blast to get rid of the rut I have so carefully maintained. I kept it going because it worked. I was legal, safe and secure. The fun has gone out of it with no one to share it with. I don't need ruts in my road, I need road to ride!

I'm waiting to see what presents itself for possibilities. I am open to them all right now.

SPRING is coming!!!! If it doesn't get here soon I think I really will get crazy! This is SO not me! I have got to get out and LIVE!

Even our rut wasn't this deep! I got to get outta Dodge and go have some FUN! I'm looking for it.

Taking ideas in the comments!