Would you like some of my tangerine?

Yes, it's really a song line. It's about meeting a new person. I have been thinking on that a lot lately. I don't just need someone to love me, I need someone to love. I miss caring for a special person and letting them know every day that I love them. It's hard to live without that.

I have gotten the house cleaned. The Sister, Mom and Best Girl have been running me around to look at vehicles. The insurance company is supposed to be sending money soon. Any second now. Right away. Yup. Waiting still.

I have been trying to decide what to get. I still think a VW Rabbit would be good. I feel like I need a vehicle that will move people, not stuff. I have all the stuff I want or need or feel a need to have so I should not be bringing any home. I can pull a bike on a trailer on almost any car. I guess I won't be getting another little truck. So what do I get? There is a Chevy Lumina available for a little more than I want to spend and a VW Jetta Diesel for more than I want to spend. I keep looking but nothing says "I'm your new ride" to me yet.

Yesterday I walked over to visit the neighbors and drop off a late gift then to the store for my mail. It was ok. I even enjoyed it. It was cold though. I remember all the miles I have walked in my life and I am glad I can walk now without pain. I also remember how nice it is to have the warm car to take me where I want to go. Like out to the store for cat food and milk. I have to go out for them today and will have to ask someone to take me.

I will be cutting up the jeans to start my quilt this year, I still have a day to work on it...LOL! I have wanted a denim and flannel quilt lined with old fashioned heavy cotton batting and backed with a fine cotton sheet for a long time. I think I not only have enough old jeans and shirts now but discovered, after giving away my treadle machine, that I have an old electric one that was in the attic all these years. I think it came with the house. That will keep my hands busy.

I am getting used to the clean, tidy home. It's annoying to me that I know where most stuff is and that I have time for housework but it really needed to be done at least once this decade. I am reading a lot of books and just ordered some more. I am almost done with the one the nephew gifted me. I like having time to read again.

I have the pool table cleared off and the stuff sorted into goes, gets sorted and trash piles there. It's chilly to work up there though and I keep putting it off. I want to get that done this weekend. Then I just have to figure out how to get the stuff on the porch out of here. I have the paint and a carpet for it and know where things are going, I just can't lift most of them alone. So I am waiting until I have hands and backs to help.

Waiting. I am doing a lot of that just now. Waiting to see what car I get, how much it will cost, if I will get called back to work, for a friend to spend time with, to find a partner in life again, to know what I am going to do next. I am waiting for all of that. It's ok. It's not my best thing, waiting, but I am learning to do it by staying busy.

I have Christmas to pack up, too. I have this thing I do every year where I get my files in order, pull the ones for taxes, file the stuff I have to keep, toss the old ones then clean the house, do the laundry and rearrange the place for the new year. It's like if it's all tidy on day one then it will stay that way all year. I try to bake a little something and make a nice meal that day, too. Christmas has to be put away and dusting done and anything I want to do next year out where I can do it easily, like the guitars and the sewing machine.

It is why I like to visit or call all my friends on the first day of the new year. To let them know I am thinking of them and they are important to me as I start my year out. It will keep me going for a few days and by then, with a little luck, I will have a car again.

My one resolution this year is to stop. When I am going by where a friend or family lives, don't think "I should stop", but do it. Spending my time with those I love is never time wasted. It always is enjoyed by both or all of us so I am going to do it. Just stop and say hi. I usually don't make resolutions but I thought I'd try one this year and see how it goes.

May all of you find joy in the new year and the love you need.