Hear me roar

Not only do you take for granted that your car will operate properly but you forget what it's like to NOT go when you want to go. I don't want to use the wonderful nephew's car if I don't have to so things are on a "Do I really need to make this trip?" basis. The results were two days spent home that I might have gone visiting or to get groceries but the trips were not really necessary. I felt sort of stuck. I can get the mail and walk around town but I can't get gas here or visit too many people this time of night, when I am most into visiting. I feel like a teen again. Mom, can I borrow the car?

Luckily for me, she says yes a lot or is willing to drive. I had a wonderful afternoon and evening. I know for many people moms are just that "Mom". They are only there to love and support us or holler because we can't do anything right and clean your ROOM! Probably very few of us get to appreciate our parents of either sex for what they really are - people that were here and screwed up before us so they can help us miss the biggest potholes in the road. I was lucky enough to get a chance to really know my mom.

The key word above is "people". My mom and I are related and my Mom and I are friends. We fight sometimes, we believe differently in almost every aspect of life. She is "pro life" and I am not sure why having a choice makes me "pro abortion". I don't think it does. I am against aborting fetuses. I am very against telling anyone what to do for their situation. Let them choose. We could go around all day on that one. Don't even start with politics, She and I are totally opposite. Religion we are closer on but still have to tread lightly and agree to disagree.

I totally respect my mom for she tries very hard to live her beliefs. I like my mom because she likes me back. I enjoy time with her and I am very aware she is supposed to be next in line to join the mate, darn it. While we don't share everything you'd have to go some to tell her something she hasn't had to deal with in one way or another over the years. She's experienced. She cares about others and she loves kids and cats. She didn't kill her own young, either, and she had reason for offing us many times as we grew up.

My Eldest Daughter was in the area and would be seeing the #1DIL and grandgirl. I called mom yesterday to see if she wanted to do dinner with all of us tonight. Silly question. Then we decided we had to make a stop or two so we left early this afternoon to make sure we would be on time. It's a standard joke that she and I are usually racing for last to arrive at family stuff. This once we planned ahead. It worked.

Mom helped me load the things I had for the kids in the car. She took me up to get the mail and my packages had come from my Ebay brain fart the other day. I forgot to mention it. I loaded one in the trunk and one on my lap to check out for the grandgirl.

We drove off into one of those days that don't know if they are going to snow, rain or break out in full sun. There were dark, thick cloud banks with the sun peeking out now and then, drizzle sometimes, then blinding sun on the horizon. We talked about what we needed to pick up, what I want in a car and how I am such a difficult human, the kids and how they are doing, how nice it was that the Eldest would be here and generally just yacked.

We stopped for gas, I pumped while she paid. We hit a store to get her photos and I picked up something for the #1DIL that just had her name all over it. We took the scenic route to the next town over for our dinner. Mom dropped me to get a table and went to do a little shopping. We were in place and on time. Wow! Then I find out my nice eatery has gone non smoking on weekends. Crap. I reserved us a table and went out to pout and smoke until the mom returned and the kids arrived. It was so cold even a stubborn old bitch like me had to give up and go inside finally. Mom was right behind me.

We went to our table, got beverages and waited, congratulating ourselves on being there first. It was very crowded and busy. Now we wouldn't have to wait for a table. But the kids didn't show. I went out to watch for them in case they were not sure where it was. I went back in and got mom's cell, it doesn't work on roaming, crap. I go back in and use the phone and finally, at 45 minutes after we were supposed to meet, I get ahold of them. Fifteen minutes later the kids were there and all was right with the world.

The Eldest had tried to call but we had left so early it was too late to connect. She wanted to miss the worst of the traffic by eating later. It made sense but we had a serious failure to communicate. No blood, no foul though so we all got around and ordered. The grandgirl was being cute but got tired before we were done. I had a tin of M&M and peanuts for her to munch, she seemed to like them.

The Eldest looked good, happy and content. The #1DIL was also looking good but looked tired, she works and minds grandgirl while her mate is on the road. It wears on you sometimes. We talked about work and family and friends and took some pictures. I hate having my picture taken but I wanted one of all of us. It's four generations of women with the grand there.

The food was good, the night was over too fast and it was time to roll. I swapped my stuff into the kid's car to send home with them and then we all hugged one more time and headed for the home, house, hotel or whatever we had waiting for us.

My town grama, Mom's mother, had to go live with family members that didn't even want her because of the depression. She met my grampa, married in her early twenties and had three kids. She worked at the silk mills where we grew up. One boy went in the Navy and on to college, one went on a spiritual quest and her girl dropped out of school, in love with a local boy.

Mom married at seventeen and finished her high school when I was in seventh grade. She had five kids and is not insane. She worked most of her adult life. It meant driving an hour or better round trip, car pooling, and not being home until we had been there a couple hours. She lost her son when he was 12 to a bicycle/truck accident. Her husband divorced her for another woman. Her parents died. She was single ten years before she met the step dad and lived happily ever after until he passed from MS five years ago. She is single again. All her girls are self supporting and have raised their kids to be the same.

I had my first child at seventeen, had my GED before my class graduated, got a job as soon as the baby could stay with a sitter, worked as the only woman in a warehouse running a fork lift. I had three kids and three husbands and worked all of my life, from the time I was 12. I needed help raising my kids and the family was there for me. I got my feet back under me just in time for the kids to be teens. I love my kids. I am a friend to them now, I hope, and a Mom when they need one.

The daughter made it through high school and put herself through college but has no degree, just lots of education. She is single by choice, has no children and has a job she loves now. She owns her own home and keeps a car running. She has many other talents.

The #1DIL did the same with college and has her degree but is not using it yet. It's there when she needs it later. The grandgirl can barely run a crayon yet but already shows promise in being able to get her way unless you really distract her well. (Her father, my #1Son, is a truck driver with the ability to build computers from scratch and install all the software then run it but there is no work for that skill right now. He's taking care of business anyway, not bemoaning his fate.)

The Best Girl was with me in spirit and so was her sister, Scooter Girl. They are both taking care of two boys each and loving their men. Their boys are polite to their elders and considerate. They both have gotten their GED's and both are paying their own way in this world. They work hard, long hours to keep things together for their families.

My great grama had four kids. When her husband told her the neighbors couldn't use his horses on a Sunday and he needed them the rest of the days she hitched the team one Sunday morning, drove over and plowed the neighbors fields for them, drove back and put the team away. You never hear the rest of that story. I always wondered how that sat with her man. But the neighbor hand crafted her an oak clover leaf table with curved legs and a second, smaller shelf under it. The edge is all hand carved half rounds. It's beautiful, square, and level to this day. It was a thank you gift from them to her.

It passed to me when Mom and Dad broke up house keeping. I was proud to own it because of the story with it and I will be proud to pass it to my daughter and from her to the grand girl. It stands for what women have always done in this world - try and raise their family and take care of others at the same time.

We are that kind of women. Not perfect, not beauty queens, but when we think it's the right thing to do we don't sit around and wait for someone to do it, we get it done. We take care of ourselves and each other. We are women building the future. We are workers, lovers, friends and family. We are just doing our job. We are Moms. I can't imagine a better group to have at your back. To all my family, stand tall. You have the right stuff. I'm proud of you.