Have I told you lately that I love you

For all I write about the things that annoy me, it's really just the "squeaky wheel" syndrome. I am going to try to focus on things and people that I like.

Let's start out with Fred. I read him regularly and you will find him on the side bar even though he took the school year off from blogging. He wrote about his three shelves of memories here. I think I jostled that to the surface during my last post. I like it that Fred likes me back enough to be a regular reader and I don't want his feelings hurt by my similar posting without referring to his very much earlier one. That would be bad. However, Fred, will point out that you have to dust photos! LOL!! I will not be dusting my invisible treasures!

I like all the people on my side bar. This post would be a mile long if I went over all of them. I just want to say that they are a great group and I really enjoy them. There is a little somethig for everyone and I hope you all take the time to check them out.

The list changes and I have felt a change coming on there for a week or so now. I lost my pal, Moo, from Bottling up the Crazy, that I love to tease so much. I can only hope his trip to New Zealand is exciting enough to justify leaving so many readers without his way off the wall humor to lighten our days. I will be deleting his link and adding some more soon.

If you read here but don't comment I haven't met your blog. If you would like to get in the list on the side bar you have to comment. I will check you out and if I get to reading you every day I will add you there so others can enjoy you, too.

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On Friday night, as I was poking around the yard, I discovered the fire from Tuesday was still simmering in the ashes. I got it started again and enjoyed watching the moon rise. With no agenda the next day I just stayed till my few logs went out, banked them intentionally this time, then crashed.

I had a fire every night this weekend off the same coals and it's been soothing to my hurt to sit and stare at it. We spent time around many fires. One time, burning off the garden, he caught his pant hem on fire. When we had "The Swamp" we burned wood and roasted out regularly. Here we have always had a "spring clean up fire". The trees need trimmed and the big one out back looses lots to ice storms and such each winter. Our friends with the cabin in the U.P. always have a fire when they have us up and we all get caught up talking in the dark through the flames.

So to sit in the (almost) quiet of the dark nights and let my mind wander has been good.

I stayed home all weekend. I felt like I was too blue to mingle and even the music didn't get me going. I got some garden things done, and the Uncle showed up so we weeded the strawberries and I made him a lunch. I did chores and got a price on a furnace. I am not happy with that yet, still thinking.

Then at the end of each day I lit the fire again. From the coal of the fire before that was built from the wood we cut together and contains the ashes of the things my mate and I shared.

On Sunday the eldest grand joined me. He will be dog sitting for me while the fencers work their magic. Tuesday night I let the dogs loose and they will be able to run the whole yard. We are so going to like that! I can clean up the dandy lion factory their pen has become and move my rassberries to the front fence then add more climbers for the hummies. It's going to be good.

But while the boy and I sat there talking I thought how like that fire I am nursing is like life. I am going to reach the end of the road and leave the boy here someday. Out of the coals of living I leave planted in him he will build his life. My eldest son has a girl and someday he will tell her the stories I told him, teach her the manners I taught him, help her, perhaps, grow the flowers I loved from the embers I have given him of me. And life goes on.

The flames have died from the intensity of the love that my mate and I burned together but the coals from our love are in many hearts. The embers of him in my life warm me still.

It's all about tomorrow. Possibilities, Maybe's and if's. Guide them with the light of your love now and the flames of love will rise in their lives someday.