And I wonder, Wa wa wa wa Wonder - Why?

Name that tune! Another day done, another day begun, another weekend looming with no band to fill it. Probably I will fill it with mowing the lawn even if I have to borrow a mower. I hate the yard looking seedy, especially with the gypsies camped out back. I am looking forward to their leaving but I just know that the people who have not even spoken to me voluntarily in ten days will be asking for more time and more free electricity.

I took some ice cream over last night to make peace. Only the mom and the midget were there. I saw the RV looks every bit as bad as the house did the first time I met these people. This means I can't ask any of the people I know to let them rent or buy from them as they are just trashing the places they live. The mom is still just watching TV all day, via satellite. There are dirty dishes with butts in them piled under the grill outside, inside the whole counter top is taken up by a computer that is half gutted and it is buried under piles of clothes, fast food remains and plastic products to eat on that could be in the cupboards. It's not good. If I think it's bad you would think it was terrible. I have pretty low standards for housekeeping.

The 28th is the three week mark I was told they needed to get into their new place. Now, they tell me, there is a hitch in the plan. Why am I not surprised? I know there is always a glitch to be gotten past in any plan, usually three glitches... So I am waiting to see what they come up with as an alternate plan. I am not going to be able to extend their time more than the end of the month because I know the regular camping areas open May 1st and they are OUT of here. It's all I can do to keep my mouth shut on "helpful" suggestions I want to make.

I did learn that I am not ready to share my space with anyone yet. Not even the yard. I can have visitors but 3 or four days is my limit. I can't take the added stress of adapting to any more new habits just now. I think I could BE a visitor longer but I would'nt bet on it. The mate and I have been cutting vacations short and heading for the house ever since the honeymoon. This place is where I can still be just me, no window dressing, no rules I didn't make and no comments accepted. If I don't like you I can ask you to leave and if I am not having fun I can declare the party over.

At least I am not 22 with two kids or 34 with three teens and trying to do this. I only have myself to keep together. It could be a lot worse. I don't know how the soldier's mates deal with this stuff. I don't know how anyone deals with this stuff. Cripe, if I couldn't go back and read it here I wouldn't know how I dealt with it!

Try to follow this; My sister's first husband's second wife is now also a widow. We lost the ex-brother in law to cancer last week. She is already getting rid of his clothes while I am trying to figure out how many denim and flannel quilt tops I can get out of the mate's leftovers. While his possessions are being passed on more quickly now, I have only been through his drawers to cuss him out for not having more black pocket T's for me to snag. The rest is all still there.

I have always bought men's jeans because they have a waist and length size you can choose from. I hate the mystery sizes of women's clothes, especially the jeans. I want something my size, not my AGE! Until they make them in 36-42/32 L, so I can get a waist and hip that fit as well as a length to fit over my boots, I will continue to buy men's jeans. Plus they seem to have a heavier construction and hold up better to the extremes I put my clothes through.

Now the mate, like many men with a spare tire, wore his jeans on his hips, not his waist. His hip size was smaller than my waist at one time. So I figure on using those jeans someday when I get over this dressing in black thing I am on right now. And a T shirt is a t shirt, if it has a pocket I will keep it and wear it, if not, I will get rid of it.

I have wanted a denim and flannel quilt forever because I like hundred pound blankets on me at night. So I will be making a memory quilt of his clothes, not tossing them out. Most of them are too worn at the neck or buttons to be reused anyway. And even 87 days later (my math is messed up someplace on the days) I am not ready to have the bed room go all female on me. Not going to happen. I need the feel of my man in the room when I try to sleep at night.

So she is way ahead of me in some ways and I wonder, again, if I am just being strange to keep trying to live in the 'it was always like this before' days of my life. I am moving on and him out of the house but it's going to be awhile before its all gone. I can't even think about that now. It's bad enough in the garage. He is ALL of the garage. But I need those tools to use still, even if it's a "rent a fixer" using them. What am I supposed to do to change it? Paint them all Pink? Ick.

Ah, the vital questions of life! I can redo the budget for the entire nation easier than I can tell you how to deal with making a garage feel less like his and make it yours. Who am I to tell you anything anyway? What am I doing out here in public spilling my guts to the world? When will gas go back to a dollar a gallon? When will I have a windmill powered mower? Where is my flying car? Doesn't anyone console widows anymore to bilk them of their insurance money?

Maybe I better stop now, I am just getting wilder. I wonder about me lately. If you're ok, what am I? LOL!