Heard they crowded the floor,

And it was the truth. I did miss the dance, but I didn't miss the bro in law's birthday party his kids were giving him. He is from a large family and the neice and two nephews with their mates and kids were there early to start food and help set up. When the rest of the family started getting there, with 5 short people and one new born already there, floor space was at a premium. So were seats.

But we are the kind of bunch who just double up on laps and have fun. It was good to see all the kids doing well and getting by ok. The adults I hadn't seen in awhile were interesting to get re accquainted with and conversations covered everything from sports, babies, horses, dogs, cars, when would the food be ready, and the sis's maple syrup simmering over the open fire out back to the new chain saw the kids chipped in to get their dad for his birthday. Like many large families we skip politics and religion at gatherings of more than three of us. Too controversial for such opinionated individuals.

Except for the mom and me, they were all paired off. Now the mate usually skipped these parties or only made a token appearance before taking off for home. He didn't do crowds. It should have been easy for me to relax and hang out. But I got sloppy feeling and took off after cake was served, making quick polites. I had to do it again the next day and could only take so much two days running.

It was warm out and just getting dark as I left. I decided I would hie myself off to a place I had seen advertising kareoke for a while. Yes, it was a bar, but a pretty decent one with good food. I thought I could at least see if I could hit the notes on a simple song and if my voice still worked.

It took me awhile to find anything in the lists. They were geared, no surprise, to a younger, if still country, crowd. The newest song I had learned was probably 19 years old.....LOL. I got my usual "I don't like to drink but I know you want money" combo of a large water and a shot on the rocks of schnappes. You drink the water down a ways then toss the shot into the tall glass and you have a nice "sipper" that you won't get blasted on right away.

The crowd was assorted but mostly 20-30 ish with a few of us older ones to be amused at their antics. There were the usual ladies dancing with each other, showing off their moves and their butt cracks and their lack of bras under the color strobe ball on the dance floor. The guys that only dance at their tables, the people that only dance sitting down and the guy who really can't sing but loves to were all there. The girl that thinks she can sing better than all the rest of the people there had her own table with a large group of friends hangin out. The two girls that do great harmony but only to one song were with her group. The guy that recognizes you from school was there. You know, the one that times his offer to buy you a drink just after you finish your second one. He knows you have to tell him you are driving and hit your limit so he doesn't have to spend a dime.

It was a pretty typical, if slow, Saturday night. I finally found a song I thought I could do standing on my head. God Bless the DJ for shoving me to the back of the list when everyone really drunk that was left. I totally blew it. It was not my key, and I forgot it went up an octave for the second verse, I couldn't hear myself over the music, pick an excuse, oh yeah, don't forget the waitress that wore so much perfume that my allergies kicked in and locked my nose up tight...LOL. I not only couldn't sing through it, I could not breathe to get any oomph into it.

I try to be bold. I got through the whole thing, told the nice dj to lose the second one I had picked. When I got down, one kid, who was a "table neighbor" all night, held his arms open to me, offering me a hug. I felt so bad I walked right up to the little headbanger 20 something and snatched a hug off him because I could see he admired me for getting clear to the end when I screwed up so badly. Hey! A hug's a hug! You take what you can get. I finished my water and had one more smoke before I slunk away with my head hanging low.

I have a lot more practicing to do before I try that again. I also have to remember to pack my meds with me. You really can't sing with your sinuses shut down, no reverb. And I got stage fright, something I have not had very often.

It was a friendly, talented crowd and no one booed when I got down. I guess that makes it a positive experience. I can't lose the mate and the music, though. That would be too much.

Today the #1 Son and family were coming down. I had asked the cousins if they would come back to their mom's. Some of them had never seen the grand girl and she is 15 months old! They were all available so the kids and I went to the sister's for our monthly dinner.

I took the giant lasagna I needed to get rid of and everyone did a little potluck with leftovers from the day before. The 5 little shorties were ramming and jamming till we got some food into them and a couple of them slowed down a little. We got a game of TX hold em going and I smeared them all again. I never win like that in the real world. We only play for chips, not money so I bet heavy and stay to see that last card turned. It works great that way. With real money I fold more often and almost never bluff. We all had fun.

The son and daughter in law looked good. I felt like she got left out a little because her shortie wanted all her attention so she didn't play cards with us. But it's all good. She had major good words of growing respect for her mate that warmed my heart. He really is trying to be a good man and mate to her. I was proud of him before but he keeps growing and changing and I was proud of him all over again today.

Around five I copped out and was the first to leave again. It was the same reason as yesterday. I would NEVER want my bunch to stop being good to each other and their mates, but it's like ripping hospital tape off a hairy arm to watch all the touches and looks, hugging and kissing they all share so casually with each other. I am so proud of them, that they have learned from the older gen that this is a good thing, because it is. But oh my soul bleeds for a knee to bump under the table and a smile to exchange over it that only we knew what we just said to each other.

I had to go home. The bars aren't for me, I already knew that. There isn't much else to do around here. So I go home. The furnace refused to start so I have the oven running for heat tonight. I don't want to do the dishes, it's the mate's turn. I tried to watch a movie and dozed off. That killed a little more time. It's so quiet here.

It was only for half of each day though so the weekend wasn't all bad.

Thanks for letting me talk to you. I always feel a little better when I get it out of my head.