No Mo' Bluz

Thank you all for the encouragement. I need it. It's so easy to chicken out and stay miserable and alone rather than put yourself in a place where you can be hurt or hurt another. You know you can deal with miserable and alone. You've been doing it. It's a given that you can survive it. That makes it safe.

Both of us were dealing with that. But there is a "like" between us that gave us a promise of friendship from the start. We feel the same about caring for others. We have interests in common.

We both make music, ride motorcycles, fish, and like to think we're funny. I found out that, where I just like shiny rocks, he is a skilled rock cutter. He is sans tools after a sour divorce. They are expensive to replace. I kinda looked into it but it's out of my range right now. I hope they come around for him again. Making carbochons is one of his skills. Then I can find a shiny rock and he can make it pretty for me.

Neither of us knows how to go about dating or getting accquainted. We kind of skipped that part. We just started working on getting the band up and advertised, learning some songs and such, BBQ's with the neighbors and families and just sitting around talking.

There hasn't really been opportunity or finances on either part for "dating". We gotta pay bills and keep gas in the vehicles. The band is getting booked back every where they have played so far and that cuts into weekends - work days are hard to find time in. There are miles between us until one of us can find work and move.

It's a good thing we enjoy sitting around playing guitars...it's cheap until the strings break!

I think the hardest thing for both of us at our age is loosening up and changing our habits again. I know I have some entrenched ones from the mate and I. Some of them changed when he was gone and I have to cop to "I have" some entrenched habits. You get used to doing things a certain way and to put another person in the mix throws you off.

I made a run up last night to drop off some stuff for him. He and his girl were just coming in from fishing when I got there. I pulled over and hauled the stuff to the house for them. Later we had time to go over the website and his myspace I have been managing for him and check his email from the local wifi spot.

He made me smile. He saw a link for someone who built band websites and I said they'd charge for it. He said they wouldn't do it as well as I have. (blush). I was glad he liked what I have been doing. It's really a frustration to me that I can't get the music for sale yet. I don't know how to secure the files. I'm looking into it.

What has been best for me is that I am not alone. I am with people who are caring for each other and the strays that come along like I do. We like each other. It's been - fun.

A small word that at one time I didn't know if I could ever have in my life again. It's not highly romantic.

I wanted to reassure Fred and the rest of you that I'm not going anywhere I can't get back here. I just am really busy getting sites caught up and recording tunes right now. That meant learning new software and such. I been rammin'!

But my blues are fewer and my smiles are bigger and more often.

I'm well aware of how blessed I am to even get a chance to try for the brass ring again.

Thank you.