There's a Lady who knows all that glitters not gold

...and he used to play me Stairway to Heaven...My friend Too Tall is back and it was such a smile when I am so sad. To know you have a true friend, while not as good as a true soul mate, is darn close! Course, as usual,I don't know how we will be much good to each other with him on one coast and me in the middle but HEY! It's someone who knows me well and still likes me! Hard to come by. Well treasured.

Hoping to find a few more and dig them out of moth balls. Why? One of the things I want to do before I die is tell those I have loved I love them still and what they meant to me. In his commment on the last post he gives me high praise but neglects to add that I, in turn, showed up and dumped on him when I let their father have custody of my kids and was - pretty literally - going out of my mind.

There were hugs, ears to hear, hearts to listen and music till you had it playing in your head in your sleep, not to mention that I seemed to be able to find all the cheap booze in the world for almost as long as I have grieved this loss.

He never threw me out no matter how stupid I got, I never went hungry and I had a bed of my own under a roof that didn't leak. And that was true anytime either of us had a roof then the other had a bed.

So welcome true Friend! I would not have bet on either of us surviving this well back when we were eating "Death Defying Biscuts" with just a touch of strawberry jam. Yay, US!

More on that later, believe me!

Today was so warm up here, forty five-ish, that the bikes were out. I couldn't stand to go home. I would have wanted to start the bikes, maybe even ride mine and I can't get it back in the garage till I get me one of those fancy bike rotation devices that you put down like a big lazy susan. You drive in, park on it, get off, spin the bike and you are ready to leave again.

The garage is really haunted for me, way worse than the house. It was the mate's own space, like his pool room upstairs, that was just the way he wanted it. I feel like I am getting in his wallet without asking first to even move a tool. I could never have dealt with starting his bike. It would have put me right back to crying my face off.

I had left the dogs out with lots of food and water, I didn't need to worry about the furnace because it wasn't cold and I decided to run to town for a couple things and eat at a cheap diner I hang at. Then the nephew needed to talk and brought his girl to join me. They are trying to work their way to their future and at their age the prospect of six weeks or more apart seems like forever.

We had nice dinners and I tried to define what the real problem was. I think it is just that they need a little more concrete definition of their relationship. They are still in the boy/girl friend state of mind but have lived together a while now... I call this the sh_t or get off the pot phase of love. If it's real, commit, if it's not, set me loose but for crying out loud let me know where I stand. I think it's the hardest part of any relationship.

I also think they will do ok working it out. At least they will know themselves better when they are done talking about it. That accomplished I headed for home and forgot to get half the stuff I went for...like normal. So I will be repeating it again tomorrow.

Now I sit hear and listen to the rain on the roof, a spring sound to go with all the dead skunks I have been seeing. The sun was out today in the afternoon. I found a lost friend and will find two more through him, I hope. The Uncle will be back in the state soon and see me. I still would like to talk to him to his face.

For the first time since the mate died I am looking further than the next time I have to go to work. Yay me.

Right?