But we travel along, singin' our song, Side by Side

The first part of this post is really here. For those of you too lazy to go read it, it's some notes on family holiday dinners from when I was younger.

I have to say (even if I say it myself) that our Thanksgiving dinners this year were great! Breaking with tradition the mate and I did not join with the 15 or more people at my sister's house or the 20 or better at his mom's place. We had our dinner quietly at home.

I am truly thankful that we had a day to be together, just the two of us and count our blessings. I am also thankful that the "kitchen fairy" was watching over me. I created a from scratch dinner, with some help from the mate, that was perfect. It was so nice to know I can still bake and cook. I made the deviled eggs, pumpkin pies and dressing up after work on Wednesday night. Smart me!

The mate watched the parades while I put stuffing in the turkey and stuff in the oven and such. By then it was time for football. I opted to play on the computer and just listen to the game. Staying home for our holiday meal meant that the rest of the family didn't have to listen to the mate trying to tell the Lions how to move the ball or cursing them for the penalties they were getting, some of them unfair, so he was cussing the referees, too. He is a die hard Lion fan and I will blog them a little later.

We had our lovely dinner at a properly set table where we could keep one eye on the birds and one on the half time show. We blessed it and were thankful our love is so strong still that we treasure a day together. We were truly thankful for the food, our home, our loving animals, our supportive families and friends, the running vehicles and all our toys. We really have everything we need.

After dinner, because I had done fairly well at keeping up with the dishes as I cooked, there were almost no dishes. The mate helped me clear the table and put the food away. While he went back to witness the Lions losing again I rinsed and stacked what dishes there were and went happily back to my machine to chat and play cards with some new friends I made this weekend.

That's right, people! We didn't do the dishes and the MAN helped put things away. If you read the other post you will know that this was a sticky wicket for me as a child. I decided that when I have company I want to visit with them. I don't want them to do chores and I don't intend to do any more than I have to, either. There are things that HAVE to be done. Everyone in my house helps with unavoidable chores and, when the basics are taken care of, everyone plays poker, watches a movie or the football game or whatever - TOGETHER. In a pile of men and women, boys and girls and we ALL have a good time.

No chore in my home is ever designated by the sex of the worker. They are designated by ability or how tall you are. Back in my youth, when I used to dust, I dusted tops and the kids dusted the bottoms. I mopped floors, the kids wiped down cupboard doors. I mowed the lawn, they bagged leaves and such. There was never enough of a male in my home to help us with this. They were either worthless or gone because I found out they were worthless.

My boy does dishes as well as his sister and she will take the trash out as quickly as he can. All our girls and the boy can check their oil and change a tire, some of them have to think harder than others to remember how, but they were taught. The boy knows how to do laundry as well as the girls do. I did it on purpose and I'm still glad I did.

I was not a raging feminist - ever. I was an "Equal rights for Val" promoter. "Why doesn't theboy have to take a turn at dishes?" "Why do I have to help clean up and theboy doesn't?", and you can multiply that by 4 because the sisters felt the same way. And we raised our kids to be "ambisexrious".

As for holidays in our family, where the women took care of getting the kids dressed up, did all the food prep work, cleaned the house, did all the cooking, sat down exhausted to eat a few bites and then got up just to put it all away and clean some more, I was in rebellion from my early youth. First, because there were always plenty of other well trained women, working and they didn't really need me to be there and Second, because I was just as good as any male and I wanted to watch TV and visit, too!

So I am truly thankful for my wonderful mate and children and family. Friday was Thanksgiving Day II. My eldest son and family along with the eldest nephew and family were coming around noon to spend the afternoon and enjoy a meal. I have to say the son remembers well. He and the wife brought a frozen lasagna, garlic bread and cottage cheese. The nephew brought bagged salad and some real Parmesan with Cesar dressing and croutons. We tossed in a bag of chips and paper plates with plastic cups all around and 3 pots of coffee. They all bring their own beverages because we don't buy much soda.

I tossed the lasagna in the oven and they all watched a Kung Foo B movie with 4 choices of languages or subtitles and laughed their heads off. I perused a book and played on the computer while watching the clock, the oven and babies playing together.

We had a lovely meal, threw everything but the silverware and the coffee cups away and sat down to a game of Texas hold em. The eldest boy was our big winner and the usual winner, the niece in law, was wiped out first.

I had to let the dogs in finally and the nephew's boy tried to ride my chow lab. She would lay down, he would climb on, give one bounce and she would sit up, sliding him to the floor. It cracked us up! She is such a good dog! The white boxer was too excited by the company to lie down so the boy was hanging on to his back and letting the dog drag him along when he walked. The boxer just wanted pets and so he would try to turn around and face the boy for pets and the kid would drop to the floor. We all laughed some more.

Then we had the baby races. The grand girl is just learning to crawl and is good at it. The grand nephew is a little better as he is older and was crawling along beside her just to keep her company. They laughed and so did we as she tried to go faster and lost it. They are a pair of little chuckles.

I got to have all that fun visiting and the dishes waited till the next day. The mate and I did them together and that was fun, too! The world did not either end because the men didn't get to sit on their butts, MOM. The women were more rested and relaxed from not having to do everything themselves. My city grama would faint at the thought of a dirty dish in her sink for more than a minute.

But what a nice holiday! By getting to visit I get to know all the kids better (and they get to know us) so I sent a book home with one and fresh garden herbs with another and we are just a little more than family. I feel like we are friends, too. I love it!

I wish all the families that have suffered this year were reunited and together for the holiday. God's blessings and comfort to all who are struggling, may the next year be better.