Tomorrow never comes

It's not a very good photo, he looks like Popeye. The sun was in our eyes that day. It was, however, a good day. My three sisters and I were having breakfast with Dad. It was the first time in over 20 years we had all been together. He had bought us each a little tin of fancy hard candies and was treating to breakfast.

Like all families we have problems but we shoved them deep down and tried to reclaim our youth and the love we all shared once upon a time. Mostly, we did well at this as we are all able to return to being 12 at the drop of a hat.

It's surprising to find that even in our 40's the old rivalries are active. The youngest clamoring and the second wanting to be in charge while the eldest tries to maintain safety and order and still be the center of attention while the Dad laughs at all of us.

There is so much more I would like to add, I can never remember him enough anymore. Inspite of my best resolutions he is becoming a photo in a scrap book as the years pass. I hate it.

Let me just say to the Dads out there that they will never know how much their praise and approval mean to a child - or an adult, for that matter. The smallest kindness, the tackiest gift may be treasured forever in memory of the giver.

For those who feel they could never please their parents a word of love and statement of pride in them from their parents can heal a lot of hurts. My most treasured item is the hard drive that crashed and has been reformated now. I hope techs will someday be able to retrieve the files from in my email. In there dad sent me a note one day after I built him a web site. He wrote that I was smart and did it well and he was proud of me. I wish I had printed it out

Just take a minute to remember - you always say something when the kids screw up, take time to tell them when they do something well. You will see a world of difference in them, more confidence, more smiles and more love for you and they will try to do better yet, to please you.

Because I felt the hurt of always being put down for my errors but not praised for my successes I made it a habit with my children that at bedtime I would tell them thank you for one thing they helped me with that day. I would praise them for one thing they had done well or nicely. I tell them still that I love them and am proud to claim them as mine. I don't ever want them to doubt that I loved them, no matter how screwed up I was as a parent, they were good kids.

It's such a little thing, that shirt looks good on you, thanks for doing the dishes, you put your toys away all by yourself, nice map for geography, a kind word. Cheap, reuseable and always available - share a kind word with your child today.