I can make you feel special

Ok, I have another thought. Each of the people that has been put in my path in life with that little extra "oomph" that a directed thought/urge/voice gives me to aid them has to be special and important to the future in general or someone else's future specifically, maybe mine.

They had to be showed that they were special in a way they could understand. Maybe that is why I have gotten to be the "strange kind of angel" that I am to these people along the way.

How can you have just what you need show up exactly when you need it and not feel like someone is watching out for you? How can you tell your Mom a woman with a pair of sissors showed up on the side of the road and cut you free without her thinking that is a little more than coincidence and you must have extra protection because you are very special?

And that applies to me. I can't tell you how many times people have showed up with just what I needed in the nick of time in my life and bailed me out. Is there even one of you that does not have a story about someone giving you a hand when you needed it? Probably not. It happens all the time in life. The first one I remember is the heavy load of groceries I was hauling with an eight pack of sodas, the footsteps behind me in the near dark of the evening scaring me to death and the boy offering to help me carry it all home, not mugging me or taking my money like I was afraid of having happen.

I know where he lived. It was not far from us but he was not headed there when he met me. He was not at the store when I was there so he must have been walking to town for something. Why? Third base, again. But I needed a hand because if I dropped the pop bottles we had no money for more and I would have been in deep crap with the other kids. I was too young to think of leaving one thing behind and going back for it later or of calling the house to send a sis to help me out. He is the first "strange kind of angel" I can recall in my life.

That means I was going to be special to the future in general or to someone in the future. I might have dropped the bottles, cut myself on the glass and bled to death before someone found me or I could run for help....ok, that is a little extreme, but you get the point. Maybe I would have been so worried about the load I was juggling that I walked in front of a car. Who knows? He at least saved me from a bad night of everyone being mad at me. And I learned not to fear the footsteps in the dark. I paid attention to them still but they never scared me like that again.

So that means I'm special! My people I have fished out of rivers, yanked back from walking in front of cars, given rides to, helped with in other ways at odd times are all special, too. Maybe the boy on the bicycle grew up to be the dad to the next president. Heck if I know! Maybe a farmer with a big attachment on his tractor would have crested that hill and killed the kid if he didn't get out of there. That one isn't even far fetched on that road.

But the way I see it I am thinking more and more that there is some grand plan. Sure, I have free will. I can decide to go get smashed at a friend's place. But I have the kind of heart that can't leave an old guy walking in the heat if I can help by giving him a ride, too. Are they put there to see how we will react and what we will do for them? Are we put there so they can see that someone still cares about them? "As you do unto the least of these" it says in the book.

I can't see anything special about me, the boy, the City boy or the kid in the river. But that there must be something special or important about all of us can be inferred from the extra help we have received in our lives at least once and myself, more than once.

Is it all just coincidence? (A sequence of events that although accidental seems to have been planned or arranged. ) Or is it Synchronicity ?

It all goes back to why are we here, and my more recent whine, why am I STILL here? Maybe one of the people I have helped will be the one who's great grand child goes off to terra form the first new planet we find and gets us all out of here just before the sun goes nova. Maybe the river kid will grow up to establish a line of swimming pools and classes for poor kids. Who knows? Not me.

But I know I am special and I believe each of us is important to the future. We have to take care of each other like every other human is important and special. Even the ones we see as "bad" humans teach us things about love and life that we can't learn without experiencing the hurts in life. It's not fun but it is nessesary to be a strong person.

I can be just the way I am and be loved. I can be just myself and accomplish good in the world. I don't have to be graceful, rich or have magical powers. I just have to do what I think is right and be the best "Old lady that smokes, drinks sometimes, rides a motorcycle, gets mad and runs off trouble makers, takes in strays, has big dogs, likes to fish, sings and writes songs and loves her people" that I can be and I will be a strange kind of angel for someone again. Someone Special.