I cried a river over you

I was up too late Monday. A nephew came over for some advice, my eldest girl and the boy both called and I wrote till late to the mate. So I over slept Tuesday. I never heard either alarm. When I did wake up I had a splitting head ache. I called in and then realize it was Valentine's Day. No wonder I felt like crap.

The mate and I skipped a lot of traditional holidays, feeling they are an excuse to spend money we didn't have. He always was bringing me little gifts, flowers for the table, candy, movies and such to brighten my days. I use to love it when I was just getting over my hip surgury and he would run out to the gardens and bring me in a big bunch of grow your own's from the yard I couldn't work in yet.

I decided I was going to run to town when I got the headache whipped with a few handy pills. I had dropped off two rolls of film from who knows when last week and found another one on Sunday I wanted to take in. I lagged around the house till afternoon and finally got out of there.

When I got to the hugh, (man I hate it,) new store I had to walk half a mile to get the pictures and do the one hour processing. I killed time looking at what they had for computers. The whole time, from the moment I walked in the door the radio was killing me.

The mate and I used to have a radio station that we really liked. It played so many songs appropriate to what we were doing and feeling that he used to accuse me of drawing up the play list ant then timing my day to match it. It used to work for him that way, too. I would be cruising with him in the truck, he would be holding my hand and driving and the radio would crank out "I got you Babe" or "My Girl" or something and we would just looked at each other and laugh while we sang along to each other.

It was just not a good day to be out in the real world. He was playing the radio to me with every song. I waited about 30 minutes for my films, gave the photos a quick look and started the long walk back to the exits. Then I decided the mate would have gotten something holiday like for the bible study tonight. I got a heart shaped box of Hershey's hugs and kisses, went through the u-scan for the first time and headed out the door. I was running for the house as fast as the little red truck would roll.

The truck was too slow, though and the songs just as love related there as at the store. I found myself crying again on the way home. I ate one piece of chocolate candy and sang along with the radio most of the way.

I made it home in time to get my self something hot to eat and was just finishing up when the dog alarm went off. Sis was early and the mom was on time. We started without the cousin. We got all caught up and had our study then they left.

I got on the machine and played a couple hands of spades. If any of you play cards in the zone.com game room and would like to get a hand of spades in I am dod_thestar there. The ladies were all bragging up what the mates had done for them, but having lots of wonderful memories of what the mate used to do made listening to them easier.

Then I wrote to the mate, got the coffee on for morning and went to bed. I have severe sleep apnea and am supposed to wear a machine to help me breath right at night. I had a friend fix it up for me this week and have been trying to use it.

I would not wear it if the mate was awake because it makes you look like an elephant with a prostetic trunk. Totally unromantic. Now that he is gone and sleep eludes me even more I felt I had to do something. I had trouble with it last night and took it off early but I still overslept again to day.

Only today I called the boss and said I was on my way and just explained the problem to him when I got there. He was good about it. There is no radio in my office and no sound card on the machine there as I like a nice, quiet computer. So I expect to make it through tearless.

If I do it will be the first day in three weeks I haven't cried.