They're coming to take me away, HA HA
I just had one of those encounters that leaves you feeling all hollow and wrung out. The emotions called up leave you exausted. You don't want to revist them because of the pain. Still, you feel you have to make them real to another person who is not dealing well with them in a similar situation. You are moved to help them avoid the same kind of hurt. The struggle to make mere words convey feelings and experiences has left you limp and speechless and sure you failed to communicate.
It's just too much drama and it's so hard to see the ones you love banging their heads on walls that have existed since there were two sexes on the planet that you have to try.
I have two friends who feel their marriage is done. Two friends who were happy and in love way past the 90 day threshold for hormone love. Because I believe it is "twu wuv" I had to try and help them see if they can pull it back together.
All together now, "It's none of YOUR business!"
OK, and it's none of my business if your kid is playing on the train track with a train coming, either. But I am going to yank him off, if I can, and send him running home because a mean, ol' lady hollered at him. As an adult, annoying as I may find that state of being, I AM responsible for seeing those younger and more ignorant than me are taught and protected.
If some one would have told me that sex is better when you are older, that love is deeper when you have to sacrifice something to make it work because nothing is free, that it takes two to love - every time, that you don't really have to have everything you want right this minute but you can work toward it in smaller bits, that every thing physical just burns up or is destroyed by hurricans and all you really need is love - from a lover, the family, your parents, your siblings, friends and nothing else really matters, among other things, maybe I would have waited till I was 18 and the mate was 20 and we could have been married 32 years by now.
When you are young everything is so "right NOW" and time seems to move so slowly that you can't stand to wait for it. People are so self centered they can't see past their own needs and feelings to see what they are inflicting on others. If they do notice they don't realize that cutting yourself off from even one person who cares about you leaves you poorer.
Because I care, I stuck my nose in. Now I wait to see if I get it cut off!
posted by Valerie - Still Riding Forward @ 5:40 PM
4 comments
feed address: http://forwardho.blogspot.com/atom.xml
It’s hard to know when to get in the middle of something, especially when they're a close friend.
I remember many years ago, my boss was extremely close to a female subordinate, and the rumors started flying. I decided to stay out of it for fear of offending both of them.
I regret that decision. Things spiraled out of control, and many people got hurt because they were gossiping about something that never took place.
I could have stopped it earlier. I let my friend down.
I think you did the right thing. Good luck.
If I thought they were wrong for each other and that is why they were miserable I would have let them blow it up, no point being here if you can't have fun.
It's really just a lack of self honesty,honest communication and youthful ignorance.
I really hope they pull out of it ok. It's their life.
Thank you for the encouragement.
I love the train analogy. A true friend helps, even if the help isn't asked for.
If nothing else, you'll allow them to come back together to be angry at you. But at least they'll be doing it together so you win. ")
I must say I agree ..it's sometimes hard to get involved especially when they are close friends.. I believe we sometimes second guess ourselves when it comes to that.. but!.. close friends will understand WHY you are getting involved.. They may not take your advice but they sure will think about you have to say and know that you are honest about it! Definitely, take the person off the train tracks and give 'em options..
Post a Comment
<< Home