True Love

I got a bad case of the weak knee mushies last night. The Mate did it to me. He does it to me a lot but, for some cosmic reason, this little action made my chest tighted with unshed tears, gave me the power to stretch my limits and left me knowing what being truly loved feels like deep in my soul. I will probably be unable to explain it well. Bear with me here.

I got home last night just ahead of the rain. I was on the bike, which, in this blog, means, motorcycle. I was hustling right along because I know the mate worries and I hate getting wet. When I pulled in the drive way the mate came out the back door before I had the bike turned around and shut off. I hopped off, grabbed my water jug, freed the lunch cooler from the bungie net and snatched that off, all before I took off my legally required helmet. We were under a tree so the rain wasn't getting through yet but I didn't want him to be slowed down by me. He had come out so he could back the bike in the garage for me.

Yup, tuff biker broad can't back her own bike in. So sue me! I prefer to drive in and back out but with the steel hip and no muscles (yet) it's hard to get the 800 pound bike over the two inch high boards he has down to keep the water out of the garage. So he backs it in for me. Why? Because he can, he's STRONG, because he likes it backed in, because he likes to know I can take off anytime on the bike I feel like it and because he loves me.

So while he backed the blue ox in I took off my helmet, holding the lunch cooler in one hand and clutching the water jug under the same arm. I dropped it to grab the little teal bike (which means the 3 speed bicycle) when he caught the handle bars with my windshield. We got my two bikes untangled and I picked up the helmet, handed it to him to put on my seat and we got out of the stifling hot garage and went into the cool house.

A light dinner of chop suey was ready to whip up and he cooked because I worked and he didn't and he loves me. I had 5 minutes to pour the milk get into something more comfortable, which I did. We had our usual touchy feely fun while getting our dinner finished. BIG smile here!

While we ate the boomers started up. One of them was like a 90 second rumbler! The rain was smashing down into the brown grass (his favorite kind because we don't mow as often) and the birds were hopping in and out of the bird bath. We were snug and happy. Nice dinner!

After I picked up the dishes and stacked them and went to join him watching something interesting on the tube. I feel asleep. The heat really pounds me into the dirt, no air at the office. Around 8:00 I woke up. About 8:15 I noticed it was light outside again. I said, "I think it quit raining, wanna go for a bike ride?" (meaning the u-pedal bikes).

He stepped out to see how the weather was. It was a little close to dusk but the rain had quit and the sky had cleared and it was much cooler out than it had been earlier. "Sure, looks like we can ride."

I found my mocs and my water jug, grabbed a hat to shove my hair under and went out the back door. He was there ahead of me and had both bikes out already, because he loves me.

So I lead off because he likes the view and lets me set the pace because I'm pretty slow yet and he loves me. I got a wild hair and went north up a gravel hill I hate, coasted to the paved road and went west instead of east toward the creek. I called the turn so he wouldn't run me over and he followed me out and turned left behind me.

He was a little surprised because west is up hill. Hills are my bane right now. What I am calling hills you cyclists would call a low rise in the road. This one is a longer, more subtle rise that goes about a mile and a half. I made it to the second sign on the other side, about a half a mile I guess, then called a u-turn and headed back. When we passed the paved corner I was back on my regular loop again.

I have been using my gears the last few rides. I even got into 3rd! For some reason the up slope I had just ridden was level or still an up slope for part of the way back east. I finally got into 3 but had to drop back to two before the bridge. I was losing my knees and my wind.

We pulled over to look at the creek but the nasty biter bugs were so bad I just gulped some water, and said," I'm being eating alive! Heading for the corner, wait here for me if you want." I thought he might like a longer break. Nope, he followed me out and we went for the next corner.

I went down but was traveling slower and into gears lower all the way. I just kept pedaling but it was soooo sssssllllooooowwww. The mate whipped by me on his 21 speed and I watched him turn and wait for me. I finally got there, turned, and we headed back to the creek.

This is all up slope again. There is about 50 level feet then up we go. I hate it. I was huffing and puffing and I decided to stop and let a car by so I could catch my breath. I panted about 30 seconds while it passed us and called back that I was going to turn in at the gravel street, not go clear to the paved road I normally used.

He said ok. I saw a car coming behind us so I whipped into the turn and went to pull over in the end of a drive way but the stupid car turned right behind us and is signaling that IT wants to use that drive way, so I keep pushing the pedals and head up the gravel hill.

Now if you can follow all that in your head you will see I have had one very short break on the bridge. Usually I get 10 minutes there to get rested up and I get 5 on the way back just to look at the water awhile. Plus, I added about a mile to the loop.

So there I was, winded, knees screaming, burn in the thighs and facing the steepest of the hills between the house and I with a car behind me. I am not an easy cryer but I was thinking about it and calling my self things like "stupid show off, moron, and idiot" as I stuggled to kick the pedals down one more time.

I have a 'tude problem, always have had, and I was NOT walking that bike. I haven't had to walk it yet and I wasn't starting now. But my legs are moving slower and slower. I realize I am throwing my hips from side to side to get some ass into it, trying to keep the pedals moving.

While the mate isn't as out of shape as I am, he's working it after the show off sprint to the corner. I know he's tired,too,from our short jaunt.

From behind me I hear, "You're doing fine, you can do it, you're going to make it." from the Grumpy Coach. I'm too winded to answer, my head is hanging low and I'm thinking, "ya, right! and the Lions are going to the Super Bowl this year!" But I'm still just barely plugging away at it. "Stupid pride, idiot woman!" chanting in my head.

I look up from the front wheel and see I have about 6 more feet to the crest, 5 feet of level coming soon and a coast for a block to the driveway. My knees are screaming, I'm gritting my teeth from the pain in them and my thighs are steaming, screaming hot! I know I am going to have to walk the last four feet up that hill.

Then it happened.

I felt a hand touch me just above my lower ribs and it PUSHED me for all of about 1 second.

I knew what it was. The mate had ridden close to me and given me a little shove. He could see I was failing fast and he knows about my different attitude problems. He didn't want me to quit and feel like I failed. He knew I wasn't going to stand up and he knew I was about to give up. He completely understood where my head was but knew I needed a little extra oomph to get where I wanted to go, so he gave me a little boost, even though he was lagging, too.

My heart totally grokked this all in about a split second and made my eyes tear up while my chest inflated with air as I sucked as hard as I could to keep breathing through the shock.

It let me get the pedal down again. The mate pulled ahead of me and called, "Come on, buddy!"

I made it. I hit the level and the bike stood there till I could get the strength to push the pedals twice more and it was all down hill from there.

We pulled in the yard and put the bikes away. He turned to go into the house and I blocked his way. "Kiss me."

No debate there! I laid one on him that was gentle and about 15 years old, sweet, new love showing itself.

He got it. He doesn't understand WHY it affected me that way, but he knew how much I loved him at that moment.

So do you get it or do I have to try again tomorrow to explain true love.