Thank You or Your Welcome?

This is yet another thing I figured out while stepping on 4" nails and being hit by avalanches of odd life experiences.

If no one needed a hand sometimes, none of us could get the warm fuzzy satisfaction of helping someone in need. For every up there is a down.

I was down so much in my young adulthood that I felt like I set the standard for needs. What did I need? I always had a job but they paid for crap. I always needed a better job.

I needed transportation, baby sitters, fresh foods, someone to talk to, a warm meal, a day out, clothes, the use of a phone, a place to do laundry free, (besides the tub and the clothes line), an education, a warm winter coat and boots, a guitar, help with remodeling and up keep, a mechanic that worked cheap, (once I traded a dining room set of oak for having my car fixed), more money, a place to sleep, care while I was ill, shelter, an umbrella, a bag to pack my stuff in, (a pair of old jeans split up the inseam, cut the bend out of the crotch and sewed up the other way will work. Put a rope through the belt loops and off you go!), school clothes and supplies, time to think and a place to sit while I did, a doctor or shrink I could afford, a car, a shower, an extra hand, some one to talk to while I worked, a cup of coffee, a pound of coffee, my hair styled (it never has been, I just trim the ends), a new dress, shoes, an outfit for a funeral or wedding, comforting, consoling, counseling, furniture, dishes, silverware, pots and pans, bedding, towels, diapers, a pot to piss in.

Now that I think about it almost everything you need for yourself, your kids, your house and to get around I have needed at one time or another. Like the night the house burned down; it's just all gone.

I did my best. I was frugal, shopped used stores and yard sales first for everything, I walked everywhere for years. When the kids came I just got a little red wagon and took them, too. I wasn't a layabout. I worked hard and sometimes had two jobs to try and make ends meet. It just seemed like I would get things almost under control and it would all blow up on me.

I finally realized I was on the "Thank you" side of life. People I was around had the opportunity to be on the "Your Welcome" side of living. I heard, "Pass it on," and "Pass it forward" and "just do it for someone else when you can," so many times - if phrases were trees there would be a forest too thick to walk through in my yard. Each time I could only bless the giver and say my most sincere "THANK YOU!"

When I figured this out I realized that, even though I was NOT functioning at a level society might expect of me, I was fulfilling a necessary and valid function in society. I was the "needy";The beggar at the gates; A necessity for Good Samaratins, Good Do-bies, Boy and Girl Scouts, those seeking to better their karma and philanthropists.

There can be no giver if there is no receiver. I could be a "warm, fuzzy, happy feeling for someone almost everyday.

You could also demonstrate your heartlessness for the plight of others. It made me feel like a counter weight on the scale for good and bad. I didn't measure anyone! Not my job! But others could measure them by their treatment of me. Sort of a social scale of helping others or doing unto others.

In this idea I found a small measure of comfort. Someone had to be the needy so others could be the helpers. I had a purpose in the grand scheme of life.

Since I have been with the mate things began to look up for me. I was sending some money to a charity one day when I realized that I had been on the "Your Welcome" side of life for awhile. We help our families, friends, neighbors, and those on the side of the road without discussion. It's just something we both do most of the time without thinking about it. A few dollars here, a hand with moving there, a bag of garden produce, a book, a gift, whatever.

I took a minute that day to mention to the powers that might be that I was glad to understand how much the little we could do for someone in need could mean. It didn't mean I was glad I lived on a budget so tight that I only had 2.00 a month for a coke and a game of pool but that I appreciated truely understanding the importance of helping others.

Giving someone a hand is not just being nice, it's teaching others the value of giving. It gives the wheel of fortune a little more to spread around. It creates a positive circle of kindness that only begins with the act of giving and continues to grow with each reciever that learns to share the wealth they have been given.

Each person we help that goes on to help others sends a part of us into the future, the best part, our love for each other. So invest in the future, be kind to someone today, give a friend a hand, give a stranger a hand and if some one gives you a helping hand remember to pass it on.