Quiz of the week

My uncle once: Went through the ice on our pond with his motorcycle. Dad slid me out on the tobaggan to put the rope on the handlebars to pull it out.
Never in my life: will I drink 17 shots of tequilla straight up, no lime, no salt again.
When I was five: I kissed the neighbor boy up in the tree under a big box we called a club house.
High School was: irrelevant to life most of the time.
I will never forget: the time I spilled a glass of kool aid on the ED. She was 4.
I once met: Hoyt Axton, ick! Willy Nelson, oh YEAH, I want to sing with him!
There's this girl I know who: has her own harley.
Once at a bar: I played and sang for 4 hours and never repeated a song.
By noon I'm usually: barely awake or wishing I was out of work.
Last night: I fell asleep on the couch and the mate took off my shoes and glasses and tucked me in.
Next time I go to church I: will be singing in the choir.
When I turn my head left, I see: the way out of here.
When I turn my head right, I see: the building across the road and an alternate way out through the window.
You know I'm lying when: I tell you so.
What I miss most about the eighties: being 35.
By this time next year: I will have shaped up myself and the gardens.
A better name for me would be: Diana, in the mythological sense.
I have a hard time understanding: cruelty. I don't get it.
You know I like you if: I don't throw you out.
Take my advice, never: tell a lie. Or a lie so big you can't remember it.
My ideal breakfast is: eggs over easy, homemade 4 grain toast, milk, coffee, juice and a book.
My real breakfast is: Yogurt, a muffin and a banana with coffee.
If you visit my hometown, I suggest: you check out the library and Riverside Park.
Why won't anyone invent: my robo house keeper!
If you spend the night at my house, be prepared to play cards!
The world could do without: Bullies.
I'd rather lick the belly of a cockroach than: I don't think so.
My favorite blonde is: Mae West
Paper clips are more useful than: roach clips.
If I do anything well, it's: luck.
I'm notorious for: foot in mouth trouble, hard to identify humor.
I brake for: horses, baby cows, yard sales, heron sightings, motorcycles and tailgaters... Don't tailgate me!
I am: a proud member of; the Val's liberation society!