Notes on Haunting

The weekend before this I traveled with my mate to visit #1Son and #1daughter-in-law. They are the proud parents of a lovely young lady only 3 months old. I had a few things I had found for her and we were going to drop them off.

We have traveled the roads many times between the big city and our very rural little town of Tiny so I was watching the scenery, sort of, and day dreaming when I realized it was my father's birthday all over again and started to leak. It is not really crying, tears just kind of over run your eyes and slide down your face.

I knew the whole week that this day was coming and I knew it that morning when I woke up. I got busy getting around to go and forgot it for a little while.

Dad died several years ago. I am old enough to not have any conceivable need for a parent but I miss him terribly at odd moments since he has moved on.

Dad did a lot of things with his life. At the end he was self employed as a dealer in antique cameras, dolls and collectibles. He did well for himself and didn't NEED anything. If he wanted something he bought it. This made the annual gift giving days torture for me. I scored a couple of times, with some music he really enjoyed, but usually ended up with a card and a big "I love you" in it for him.

It took me till he died to figure out what I could have given him for the perfect Father's Day gift. Actually, it took me till I had kids that were grown and gone. Just SHOW UP! Be there. Stop in and spend the day. Paint the garage, mow the lawn, bring or make dinner with something unique on the menu. Spend time with him!

I would like that as a gift from my children. Yard sales, flea markets, museums, book stores, junk stores are all fun to visit in a group. My gardening has gotten way ahead of me and I could use three solid 12 hour days of yard help. I want to paint in the house. I hate thinking up what to eat every night and the public food sources here are very basic or too pricey.

Just love me enough to spend a day doing whatever I am doing with me.

Mate looked over and raised eyebrow that means "Problem?"
"Dad's birthday," I said through the leaks, "no problem."

We arrived at the #1Son's and found fresh, yummy cookies and a table full of nicely arranged snacks on the kitchen table. Coffee was hot, smiles were big and we sat down to admire the eating child while we chatted.

I totally enjoyed watching the mate convince the little one he was going to be her favorite non-resident person while the son beamed at his wife in a private happiness.

The leaking re-occured and I explained to all that I had decided that on this day- every year - I would be with a loved one spending time with them in memory of my Dad. If you have them, love them. If you don't, love someone who needs it.