Dreamin', I must be dreamin'

or am I really lying here with you....

Dreams seem to be making the rounds in the family and I am so glad to have mine to add to the pile.

Did you ever have one of those dreams where some one you miss that has gone on ahead was with you? Scooter Girl put it well, "Not like you are dreaming of them but like they are IN your dream with you."

She dreamed she was with some people at a park and her Daddy was at the over by the trees. She saw him and ran to him to get a big hug. A hug where the arms feel real. She said he looked really good, his hair was longer but not past his collar and he was healthy and strong. She asked what he was doing there and he said he had to help her mom with something but she was ok now. He just wanted to see her and tell her he loved her but he had to go.

She woke up so happy to have seen him. Then her Mom called. She was crying and upset. She had hit an icy patch on the way to work and was heading into the traffic. A car was coming right at her and she just knew they were going to crash.

She had no control on the ice, "Then the car just went over into the ditch." She didn't even need a tow. Nothing was broken but she doesn't know why the car went in the ditch. She drove out and turned around for home then called the girl who was crying now.

When her mom tried to apologize for upsetting her the girl protested, "No, you don't understand! I had this dream.... She told her mom the dream. They were both crying and happy and upset all at the same time.

I have had my dreams of him "being" in my dream with me. I think it is real, just a different place where we can be together. The girl is so comforted by knowing her Daddy still cares for her, as are all of us that were loved by him. It makes me feel a little less crazy when it happens for someone besides just me. I was pleased to hear of this event.

Why would you want to cling to "death" when you can see life is there, just different?

I also like to think that a hero will continue to be a hero wherever he finds himself.

********************
Tuesday was surprise day. It was the Sis's bday and that means strawberries and ice cream for Bible Study. Shy Lady couldn't make it. Jeanette did join us for a bit at the beginning and then at the end. We had a spontaineous sing along of old gospel songs. It was rousing full of fun and love if not properly performed. Mom did finally leave anyway. We just need a key we can all hit and it will be better. Then I have to transpose all the music. LOL! Who knows when that will happen?

The real surprise of the day is the boss laid me off again just when I was thinking I was finally back in the swing of things. Maybe only for ten days but I had a pouty, nobody loves me minute because I can't even put in for vacation pay. He doesn't have it.

It's a good thing I am being looked after by someone who really loves me! I'll take all the prayer I can get right now.

******************************
The holiday was great. I had time with friends, music, laughter, fun and family. All of it with a quiet joy in me that has yet to leave me. I could wish it for all of you!

Later

All you need is love, love. Love is all you need

If I believe:
My entire purpose here is to show other humans that the Divine Loving Being is, creates and sees only good lovingly for each of us in this life.

Then to show this to you:
I will share with others how the life I have lived - in all of it's loss, pain, ignorance, hurt to others and selfishness - was blessed to be made good. As I come to see that even the things I have done I was ashamed of and sorry for have been used for good I will share these thoughts.

If I believe:
That the love we are alive in should pass through us to others we touch.

Then to show this to you:
I can only giving love freely to all others brought into my life. I will use what I have to smooth the way for others as it was eased for me by others in my life.

If I believe:
That every one is loved exactly as they are created to be this second. Unique is what it is.

Then to show this to you:
I will continue to unlearn judging myself and others and continue to see the loving spirit of each one I meet or have brought to me. I will act on my belief that the loving thing to do is always the right answer to any situation. No matter who's responsibility it appears to be I must act - if I am aware of it - to the best of my ability to show loving support to the person in need of it regardless of who they are and how they feel about me.

If I believe:
That each bit of life is precious because it is so rare in the cosmos.

Then to show this to you:
I will show I love for life. I will not waste it. I will be thankful for the lives given as food and protection. I love being alive and I love this place and I love the other people, animals and things that live here with me. Death is part of the plan for bodies but spirits don't die.

If I believe:
That these bodies are a gift for us.

Then to show this to you:
I will enjoy my body whatever shape it's in. I will use it to share love with those who need it. I will enjoy being alive - touch, hold hands, and hug with love. I am glad I have the ability to express my joy and love for others fully for awhile longer.

If I believe:
That each of you will live forever blissfully in peace in that place with the Divine Loving Being.

Then to show this to you:
I will live joyfully and show that I do not fear death nor grieve for those that live in the eternal time frame. I will only celebrate being here where I am still needed.

When each of us are lovingly caring for one another, and the planet, in peace there will be a heaven on earth. I can't change the world but I can touch lives around me with love, one person at a time and see that it WILL change.

Birds fly over the rainbow

so why can't I? It seems that even all birds can't fly over the rainbow so it's not surprising I can't.

Last night I had a little robin that could only hop/fly, floop we'll call it, about four feet at a time being charged and chased around a stump in the yard by the dogs. Poor little guy! After having to cover him with the lid to the portable fire pit Jeanette and I got the dogs in the house.

I removed the cover and he flooped away again. we went all over the place until I picked up some of the hay from the last time I mowed and tossed it over him to get him to hold still. I had finally remembered birds won't fly in the dark. I used more hay to pad my hands from him and pick him up. I didn't want him to smell funny or to hurt his feathers.

I didn't see a nest even though I had seen the parents dive bombing the dogs. I decided to sit him in the little nest I had made on top of the bird house. I discovered the house was occupied. That made me hope the parents there would feed the orphan, too. At the very least if it flooped off again it would end up in the neighbors yard and they don't have dogs.

Why do we do that? Rescue little things we know are destined to die? It's part of being human and large I guess. I knew the poor bird had probably been shocked to death by the dogs and me but I had to try to save it anyway. People in need bring out the same side of me the bird did.

I'm glad I care, I'm glad I believe the bird might make it with the help of foster parents if the real ones can't find it. I'm glad I believe that each person here is special and unique and worth loving. I like me that way.

I believe.

******

Life goes on. Grief lurks for me in the strangest places but I live and I love and I enjoy it while I have it. God Bless the mate for teaching me that love is forever and thank the Goddess that my heart knows it can learn to love more everyday.

So the blog is updated to now. I have to say the dark place is mostly behind me. He is still never far from me but I am healing and we have things to do yet, he and I, where we are now.

I walked out this morning and I wrote down this song

I have written a song in the last two weeks. Sunday I did a website for a friend. It's been fun to feel creative again. I even dug out my crocheting to see if I can remember how to do that.

I have to back pedal a little here. I went on and right back off the flush. I was out of sea salt and then I decided the body still wasn't back to form after all. I had some interest in food but now much and I wasn't sure everything was processing properly.I decided to blow it off for the whole weekend and see what happened.

I didn't eat much, wasn't hungry much but had that boiled dinner I had been craving and some apple bread, munched the rhubarb crunch, noting I needed to cut mine soon, and saw that NOW I seemed to functioning normally and I was happier with less food.The bad news is I was smoking like a chimney. I love me anyway but geeze the house stinks and I stink and I want to put this that was once a needed thing in my life behind me. I want to breathe and know what I am like on oxygen intake. Today they are actually making me nauseous.

I have to find a way to get a handle on it. I really do want to quit for whatever reason.I didn't dare drive the car very far. It had bypass surgury for the cracked heater core but I don't know if it will deal with many miles well so I am limited to getting to work and back until it can be repaired. The bike makes me nervous because it only starts on two cylinders until it gets heated up and then it doesn't want to idle well. This all means I have been feeling grounded again.

The #1son called and I am saving up my burn pile for Monday. Memorial Day we are going to roast the dogs and party some. I will be inviting all who want to pack a dish to pass and join us.I spoke with Eldest Daughter and Best Girl. They and theirs are all doing well. Scooter Girl is moved but still cleaning out the old home. They love the new place and as soon as I am mobil again I will get up to visit.

Today, on the way home, I will get some more sea salt and commence the three day flush and then get the grapes I need for the grape cure. I am determined to try it for at least a week and see how I feel. If it turns out to be torture I can drop it but I would love to see it work. There are so many people dealing with serious health issues that I would love to be able to say there was a way that they could help themselves and have it be a truth for me to share with them.

Jeanette and her family had a party at the house. The roof is on, the doors are in, the windows are coming along and the outside walls have been redone with new board. They are at electrical and plumbing then interior finishing. She is just thrilled and I love to see her so happy. It's all being done on the love of family and friends. It's a thing of love to see it all coming together so well for them.

I can't seem to free myself up for deep thoughts here today so you get mind chatter. Sorry. Will try again later.

Let's do it all over again

I am back on the body flush today. I had a time out and now I am ready again. I liked the way I felt and I am going to make some diet changes based on my observations. Nothing really severe and I don't agree with the way many feel about dairy products but probably because I am farm raised. I love my dairy.

By Tuesday I should be ready to try the Grape Cure. At least on that one I get to chew sometimes.

For those of you that may be interested and in case I didn't mention, I lost about 14 pounds on the flush. Hopefully it's all that backed up stuff and not just water weight from flushing the kidneys.

I really enjoyed working with the kids on the guitars but didn't feel like much of a teacher. I am hoping to get a chance to fine tune with them this week. I told them I would come to help as long as I can. I tend to get called off to do things and forget where I am supposed to be on this planet, especially in the summer.

Gotta Run! Hugs all and see me Monday.

Please release me, let me go

the song says "for I don't love you anymore". Often, in real life, that is not the case. Many times we have turned to our parents or siblings or partners and asked them to let us go - out on our own - working without a net to see what we can do by ourselves.

When your child is on top of the swing set cross bar, a little three or four year old, some of you will go running out to get them down. I pulled down the shade. The child came back in later, all in one piece. I told them about it when they were older. I was proud of both of us.

You will all be able to add examples. Letting someone you care about go out without your back up, protection, guidance - it's hard. You know it's right for them but you want to be there. I call it "time to pull the shade".

A shade is just a piece of material that blocks the view. It lets you still be close in love, ready to respond and always on call but you are not able to see and understand all that is going on with their life. You can only see what they come in and show you.

For all I know my kid took a header off the swing set getting down. They didn't cry or holler and there were no visible bruises so I had to accept that, however the child managed it, they were just fine now. No problem. They showed me a healthy, functioning body and I let it go.

Now I am learning all over again that it is hard to pull that shade down sometimes. You get so into someone's life and want to be there for the rest of the story all the time. You care about them and want to know and understand how they do things. You keep wanting to be right in the thick of it with them. You want to be there if they get in too deep, just to be able to offer a hand if it is needed. You know they are asking you to let go and you love them....

You pull the shade. You hold them up with your spirit. You send them your loving attention. All the story you may ever get is that they are still alive and functioning. It's their life - they can share it with you or not - their call.

I have always been such a get in there and fix it person that sitting back to wait and see what happens next is difficult. I'm curious about the means, not just the end of an event. I care that people don't get hurt or feel like they are alone in the world. I want to fix all the hurts I see. It's part of how I function.

It's not like I don't have a life. I am busy with work and the house and the car is broken down and the bike needs an oil change, a tune up and probably some carb work. I am going tonight to help some kids learn to play guitar at mom's church. (just draw the lolly pop over my head!). Jeanette and mom have been getting me to work and back. The yard gets bigger every time I mow it. The dogs and cat need loving and then there is the ever present laundry.

I have friends to visit, jam session to go to tomorrow and Saturday if I want and the experiment I am going to run on the grape cure for a friend with cancer to keep my head going. I'm living well and loving large!

I'd drop it all in a second flat if someone needed me. My kids, the mom, my friends - the family....

So anyway - I needed to write that. Pulling the shade.

Mama tried

My mom did, anyway. Through hard times, a divorce after eighteen years of marriage, the death of her youngest child and only son, relocations, operations, and all the other trials a life can hold she kept us together and gave us a rallying point on this planet.

We have many differences, she and I, and we respect them. That's love.

Today I am going to her church with her. I started about three years ago and it makes her smile. The sis is going, too.

I love my Mom and I know she loves me. What more can you ask?

Thanks Mom!

Stop the world and let me off

Off is what I a getting, probably not quite according to plan but gently. I have made the tenth day on the kidey/colon flush and I have to say it was mostly easy. I had times I wanted to eat but never badly. These guys don't like dairy but I do and giving up the milk and cheese was difficult for me. Aside from Tuesday's slip on Friday night I had a dozen grapes and about half a cup of cottage cheese. I was really craving the dairy. I made it through Saturday and anticipate no trouble finishing up tonight.

I am going to go "normal" for three days, but stick to mostly fresh foods, to see how I feel and give myself a break. The plan is to do a three day repeat of this diet and then, next Sunday, I will start the grape diet. Why? It's supposed to cure cancers. I have a friend with breast cancer and I have a melanoma myself. I want to see what happens and I don't do rats so I will just have to try it and see how it works.

I don't expect to do five weeks on it, as reccommended. I will give it ten days on and three days off then see how I feel. I don't like denying myself - in fact I don't diet. Not that it would be a bad thing but I figure if it isn't easy it isn't me. Most dieting is some form of heavy math and torment.

This flush has been mostly easy. I thing of squeezing lemons by hand has a form of bust exercise so even that was beneficial. Yesterday I walked all over town, slowly but walking, without losing my wind. I tired out sooner than I would have liked but much later than I used to.

All in all I feel better, my gut is softer, I have more energy and I didn't suffer serious hunger pangs, just a desire to put food in my mouth. I don't know if I lost any weight because I don't own a scale. I don't think I lost much more than water weight. I could be wrong.

Below is the proper proceedure to go off the flush.

FIRST DAY:
Several 8 oz. Glasses of fresh orange juice as desired during the day.
Drink it slowly.
SECOND DAY:
Drink several 8 oz. Glasses of orange juice during the day-with extra water, if needed. Some time during the afternoon, prepare a vegetable soup (no canned soup) as follows:
RECIPE FOR VEGETABLE SOUP
Use several kinds of vegetables, perhaps one or two kinds of legumes, potatoes, celery, carrots, green vegetable tops, onion, etc. Dehydrated vegetables or vegetable soup powders may be added for extra flavor. Okra or okra powder, chili, curry, cayenne (red pepper), tomatoes, green peppers, and zucchini squash may be included to good advantage. Brown rice may be used, but no meat or meat stock. Other spices may be added (delicately) for flavor. Use salt delicately as a limited amount of salt is necessary. Learn to enjoy the natural flavor of the vegetables. The less cooking the better.
Have this soup for the evening meal using the broth mostly, although some of the vegetables may be eaten. Rye wafers may be eaten sparingly with the soup, but no bread or crackers.
THIRD DAY:
Drink orange juice in the morning. At noon have some more soup: enough may be made the night before and put in the refrigerator. For the evening meal eat whatever is desired in the from of vegetables, salads, or fruit. No meat, fish, or eggs; no bread, pastries, tea coffee, or milk. Milk is highly mucus-forming and tends to develop toxins throughout the body.

(Link goes to the site I got the info from)(Milk, being a predigested food, has been known to cause various complications in the stomach and colon, such as cramps and convulsions. The calcium in milk is difficult to assimilate and may cause toxins in the form of rheumatic fever, arthritis, neuritis, and bursitis. The resulting lack of proper digestion and assimilation of the calcium allows it to go into the blood stream in a free form and it is deposited in the tissues, cells, and joints where it can cause intense pain and suffering.)

FOURTH DAY:
Normal eating may be resumed, but best health will be retained if the morning meal consists of our type of lemonade or fruit juice: and, of course, if a strictly fruit, vegetable, seed and berry diet is followed. If, after eating is resumed, distress or gas occurs, it is suggested that the lemonade diet be continued for several more days until the system is ready for food.
Recap of the steps to be taken in the diet.

Getcher motor running

No more slips, still good and not hungry and headed for the weekend. Way busy, back later

Watching the river flow

So - I am not dead and I am still food free today. I had a little slip up Tuesday night when the mom showed up bearing spinach dip. I know they say you have to prepare your body to go back on solids with this diet. Silly me, I thought they meant just everyone else, not ME!

I had some dip and crackers, some grapes and cottage cheese and one skinny piece of deli ham rolled with a piece of fine sliced baby swiss. They all tasted great. I chewed carefully to try and stretch it out and savor it as I had no intention of quitting the flush for one little lapse. That stuff sat in my stomache like lead balls and for all I can say it's there still. I might have savored the flavor but I didn't relish the results. BLAH!

I bloated and burped and blatted and it was just no fun at all. As soon as they all left I did my evening salt water flush and even that just sank right through it and out the other end. So much for cheating. I will just have to settle for sniffing for a few more days and then get the system up and running right before I load it up again.

I entered day five a little more aware of what I was doing. Not enough aware, however, to wake up in time for work today. We had a late night storm. My body loves them. Something in the ion activity makes me edgy before one and then I can sleep like a bear in winter after the first charge of electricity passes. I did. Luckily this village has a rep for losing it's power in any storm, no matter how small, that lets me just shrug and say, "Storm last night." as I pass the boss on the way in. It saves on him getting cranky.

We have been in James for our Bible study. It's going pretty quickly, for us. Where he talks about not respecting persons, "And ye have respect to him that weareth the gay clothing, and say unto him, Sit thou here in a good place; and say to the poor, Stand thou there, or sit here under my footstool:"

I stopped tonight to drop off some clothes and a couch cover at a little store in the town where I work. While I was there visiting and asking for prayers for a friend and taking requests there were five or six boys running in and out and hanging with their boards on the sidewalk. Having worked in retail I started right away watching them for shop lifting. Respect for persons rang in my head on the way home and I realized I had been tricked again into stereotyping a human. I really don't like it when I do that.

Why would I expect negative behavior from them first? Experience? Social judgement? Not good enough. You see what you expect to see. I have been one to always look deeper than the surface of a person but time and again I fear others and go negative. I get negative, they then appear to me as negative and there ya go - we are in a negative cycle.

They were just bored boys playing around the only place in town they could go in and get a treat. One came in and got a broom that he took to someone, his mom or whoever, then came back. I like kids that age. They are full of disinformation and misconceptions that are fun to educate them on. If I had just stayed positive it would have been fun to get to know them.

There is a lot lately that is getting left off the blog. I have so much in my days that brings me joy and calm and then it flips and I am in a pity party again. Today it has been 21 years since the mate moved in with me. Tomorrow is the Eldest Daughter's birthday. The #1son is over his surgury and back at work. Best Girl is doing fine and the grands are still in school. Scooter Girl and her family are getting ready to move one town over from where they are. Mom is good.

The Sis has had a rough round the last two weeks. Her husband and a grand son both came off horses. Her man landed hard and face first. He's getting better but he also screwed up an already messed up wrist. In the excitement of his hard landing the other horse decided to lose his load, too, and the grand went off. He was just fine but it left people wondering which way to run first.

Then Cgirl's little girl ended up in the hospital vomiting and lethargic but without meningitis so they don't know what is wrong with her. Cgirl is is eight months into baby production, too. I could tell the Sis was beat last night.

I would like to take the time to offer my Eldest Girl the salutations of the day. May she have the joy and cheer of turning (blank)! It was a good year for me that year. I hope it is for her, too.

There is a storm running through as I type so I have to wind this up and unplug the computer. I am careful of my favorite tool.

Please check out the post below on the Standing Women for Mother's Day. It really seems important to me that we start somewhere to let the world know we do want it to survive for the children to enjoy and begin to find ways to bring it about.

Hugs all and I will be back with a final report on the flush later.

Like a bridge over troubled water

I made it to Sunday on the flush. I have fine tuned the saltwater to one and a half rounded teaspoons to three cups of water. More just hurts my stomach. I have the luxury of my sister's home made maple syrup and I got her "dark" batch. It got a little smoked and has a distinct flavor that adds to the tartness of the lemon juice nicely.

I have not been hungry. In fact, my tummy growled for the first time this morning. I gave it a glass of lemon juice and maple syrup and it shut right up. When I went out Saturday I claimed "designated driver" status and drank hot tea with heavy lemon for the evening. I don't think it messed me up to substitute as long as I stayed off any sugar or food.

The truth is that when Jeanette made herself some breakfast this morning I couldn't wait to open the windows and air the house. The bacon fat and grease just gagged me. That was a first.

For those interested in the nitty gritty - I haven't eaten since I split the fresh asparagus with Jeanette on Friday night and that was all I had that day but juices and coffee with milk. It's almost eight on Sunday night and I am not hungry or tormented with cravings for food.

For Kate - LOL I know she guessed wrong - the ulterior motive is that if I keep flushing toxins out of my system I will stop wanting to put them back it. It seems to have worked for the bacon grease so far but is only helping a little with my desire to be smoke free.

I could not be shamed into quitting and I refused to be legislated into stopping but I am being "curioused" into putting cigarettes behind me. I wonder, if I am this strange now, what am I like with full oxygen to the turbos of my mind? I want to know me as I was when I was young. I want a body I can safely ignore as it heals itself and goes where ever I point it with out any more attention than necessary.

With my body functioning as it should and no bad habits to slow me down......wow. I may have been Einstein's sister all along and didn't know it!

I don't know when I will be able to leave the house without the panic attack of "where's my lighter!" and such but I am reaching for it.

And Anvil, my friend, the flush - done properly - seems to be easy. I just can't count less than one cup of asparagus as food so I am crediting myself with three days and no solids and a full 48 hours on the flush with no hunger or other food cravings. It's way easy to do this part so far. See me on day eight for an update.

The hour in the morning and evening when you have to wait for the saltwater to slide through is just that - time consuming. Since I cut it down to fit me I have not had the cramps or pain from it. Waiting to see when it will hit is the gamble. Will I be done before I have to leave for work or will I have to drive really fast to get there? can make the morning interesting.

I go out walking, after midnight

I tried something new last night. I screwed it up royally. I never screw up half way. Now that I think about it I don't do much half way.

I want to get back in shape. I want to be able to enjoy the next days of my life without having to think about my body. It's designed to run and repair itself on auto pilot but when you screw it over by eating wrong and leaving it sit all day you end up having to pay attention to it. I don't want to do that anymore than I enjoy dusting so I need to get it functioning as it's supposed to.

I started by changing my diet to juice and liquids all day with one meal when I get home. That meal was mostly raw veggies. Now that I have lightened the load on the processing systems I want to clear the systems out. That starts with a salt water flush. How hard can that be?, I think to myself.

A friend had mentioned it to me before. I was doing some research for another friend with breast cancer and found it again along with a ten day kidney flush and I thought hmmmm.... If it's good for them it would be good for me. So I am going to try it to see what I think and how I feel.

It says read, take notes, understand the directions. I did. Honest! I just mixed up the receipes. One uses two tablespoons and one uses two teaspoons. Let me tell you, I will get it right next time. Two tablespoons of sea salt in a quart of water not only flushes your system but it tastes ICK! I re-experienced labor pains and remembered, surprisingly, my Lamaze breathing! But I was flushed! Whoohoo!

If you are bored with life and want to follow along start by cutting your eating down. Drink all the juices and purifyed or distilled water you want all day and have a light meal, preferably raw veggies and fruits or a light vegetable soup for supper for a few days. When you are ready to start, and I reccomend a weekend, you get up in the morning, drink one QUART of water in which you disolve TWO TEASPOONS of natural sea salt. In about an hour take your book and head for the john.

The rest of the day you drink a lemonade made with two TABLESPOONS each of fresh squeezed lemon juice and maple syrup and ONE TENTH of a TEASPOON of red pepper. Use less maple syrup if you want but not more. Put ingredients in a ten OUNCE glass and add warm or cold purified or distilled water to fill it up. You need to drink at least six of these a day. This is supposed to contain all the vitamins and minerals you need for your body to function properly. The only other thing you drink is purified or distilled water. NOTHING ELSE.

At bedtime you sip off a cup of (get this) herbal laxative tea and call it a day. You are supposed to do this for ten days. I will be starting on Friday night again. Last night was too messed up and I haven't found a good laxative tea, either, yet.

To get your glandular system working they suggest walking while swinging your arms at least thirty minutes if you are able. Also light hand weights or books while you do front and side lifts and curls for at least five minutes three times a day. I will be adding the walk to my nights. I might even get back on the 12 speed, who can say?

I have an ulterior motive behind this. If it works I will let you know. It's a secret for now.

Party on and if you tag along make sure you don't get the teaspoons and tablespoons mixed up!

We will see how it goes. I will add the weaning instructions for getting your body ready for solids as we get to the end of the ten days.

And I get a peaceful, easy feeling

It's just an idea whose time may have come. There may be enough people willing to stand in silence for five minutes on Mother's Day to let others know we care for the future of the world for our children and their children to come. I had to pass it on. I'm standing.

http://www.standingwomen.org/english_story.html

We are standing for the world's children and grandchildren, and for the seven generations beyond them.

We dream of a world where all of our children have safe drinking water, clean air to breathe, and enough food to eat. A world where they have access to a basic education to develop their minds and healthcare to nurture their growing bodies. A world where they have a warm, safe and loving place to call home. A world where they don't live in fear of violence - in their home, in their neighbourhood, in their school or int heir world.

This is the world of which we dream. This is the cause for which we stand

Please stand with us for five minutes of silence at 1 p.m. your local time on May 13, 2007, in your local park, school yard, gathering place, or any place you deem appropriate, to signify your desire to bring about this kind of world.

We ask you to invite the men who you care about to join you. We ask that you bring bells to ring at 1 p.m. to signify the beginning of the five minutes of silence and to ring again to signify the end of the period of silence. During the silence, please think about what you individually and we collectively can do to attain this world.

If you need to sit rather than stand, please feel free to do so. Afterwards, hopefully you and your loved ones can talk together about how we can bring about this world.

Dancing in the moon light!

Everything that has held me in place the last twenty some years is being gently removed from me. Each anchor I have is being lifted. All the habits I have had are being changed or left behind. Even my thoughts and the way I see the world are being modified.

Free for what? Good question. Last time this happened it was to free me to love. I have hopes that it is still the goal. I am free to love singing again. I am loving living. I am loving sharing my life with my family and friends. I love my writing. I was reading some of my things and I like my writing. It's just me. I love the birds and the planet and the universe and the Divine Love. I love my children and their children. I love being self supporting. I love the one dog and one cat left with me still. I love my home and I love my yard. I love so many things it's hard to count.

I have joy in my life most days. I love it that a sad friend called and I could cheer them up. I love seeing the magic of Jeanette's home going up this Saturday! At least the roof. I love it that another friend got the job he needed. I love seeing the needs around me filled. I love being able to help fill them because I have so much I can share.

I love the new people I am meeting that are spirit oriented and understanding of each other, not judgemental. They know the job here is just to love ourselves, love each other and to show others that the way home is open to them always.

It's not just words. I put Timone to sleep and then went out that night to watch a friend's band play. They let me do a couple. It wasn't horrible, just a little nervy. It was fun! And they were fun to watch, the music was good and we had a nice evening. I could still be dragging around pouting because all my little buddies are on the other side of where ever and I am still here. Instead I know the joy is in being here for now and the peace is knowing they are there for me, loving me now and will be there when I get there.

I am loved. I love. You loving me doesn't create the feeling of love in me. Me loving you does. Sending love and caring how you are and what your life is doing is what makes me feel loved and loving. Virtual or real friend, male or female friend, relative or selected companion - when I love you I am filled with the joy of sharing love and life with you.

It pleases me on this night of the full moon to tell you all that I am glad you are still on the planet with me. It changes the balance for me each time one of you translates over. There is still life and love but it's more pure and harder to access from here.

Spirits can't hug.